


Shoot For The Moon

by twofacedjanus



Series: Good Things Come In Damaged Packages [2]
Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Established Relationship, Friendship/Love, M/M, POV First Person, Smoking - Freeform, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-05 02:30:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 81,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17910275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twofacedjanus/pseuds/twofacedjanus
Summary: Out of nowhere, Robert wanted to go ghost hunting. It was more than a little unusual, but who was I to refuse? I hadn't been ghost hunting yet with him. Still, neither of us could have predicted that visiting the moonlit forest in a vain hunt for ghosts would forever change our lives.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Over a year in the making, this work of fiction could not have been possible without the help of CelestePastore and Cokobi helping with outlining, brainstorming, and proofreading. I'm delighted to share this with you, please enjoy.
> 
> Please see end of chapter notes for a notice of potentially triggering content. Do be advised this notice is a spoiler.
> 
> The main character's physical depiction is again intentionally left as vague as possible, for the most part. His name is Matt with no surname ever given. Feel free to use your favored word replacer extension if reading on a computer to change his name if you so desire.
> 
> I use:  
> Chrome: Word Replacer II  
> Firefox: FoxReplace
> 
> © Twofacedjanus – 2019

“Hey. Let's go ghost hunting.”

The question – or suggestion – caught me off guard. Robert had just come home from whatever he'd been doing all day and had barely given me a minty greeting kiss before he asked. I was about to start making dinner, and I had planned for a quiet evening with a movie I thought he’d like.

“You wanna go ghost hunting?” I asked, my eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Yeah.”

“Tonight?”

“Fuck yeah.”

I took a moment to scrutinize him. Something about it seemed off – or rather, its suddenness seemed off – though Robert had so hopeful a smile I could hardly bear to say no.

“This is a little short notice, I mean… I was gonna make a quiche, and—”

“We can grab something to eat on the way. Come on,” Robert said. “It’ll be fun.”

 “Well…” I scratched my stubble in thought as Robert smiled. He looked a bit tired. “Alright, let’s hunt ghosts tonight.”

“Yes! You won’t be disappointed.”

 

* * *

 

Robert carefully loaded his truck up with all the supplies we needed. I watched in fascination as he packed camping gear and brought out his bag of odd cryptid hunting equipment.

We stopped for burgers and fries at a drive-thru by the freeway on-ramp, but the nervous energy made it difficult to choke anything down. We’d been on a few ghost tours, but those were mostly spooky stories. Hunting actual ghosts had the potential to be a lot more harrowing. Now that we were on the road driving toward the forest, it was a lot harder to expend that pent-up energy.

I thought about telling him I just wanted to go camping, but when I turned to look at my boyfriend, I gave pause for a moment.

Robert looked a little ragged around the edges. Concerningly ragged, like he'd regressed a few months. His hair was tousled and his face pallid, though the evening sun painting us made that hard to discern. Maybe he was just tired today, but… tired didn’t make your hands leave shiny sweat on the steering wheel, or your gaze look distant.

If anything were wrong, he'd tell me, though. He tells me everything, now.

Still, the constant quiet was a bit unnerving today. I played with the promise ring on my finger, spinning it around as much as I could spin a perfectly fitting ring that dragged on my skin.

When we arrived after a terribly silent car ride, Robert set me up with a backpack, and we hiked away from his thinking spot for a good while before he found a decent clearing to set up the tent. I didn't have high hopes we'd be using it much tonight, but then again, I'd never been ghost hunting, so who knew what would happen? My mind usually filled in the worst thanks to the few ghost hunting shows I’d seen where things inevitably turned creepy, but I tried to bury those thoughts and approach it with an open mind.

As the sun neared the horizon, Robert walked up to me with his bag of hunting stuff slung over a shoulder. “Here we go,” Robert said, rubbing his palms together. His voice sounded gravelly rather than smooth. “So, the first thing to know about hunting ghosts is that there are two types: ghosts that used to be human… and things like the Dover Ghost.” He looked me in the eyes with a deathly serious stare. “If we find something like the latter, have the knife I gave you ready. The silver one.”

I resisted the urge to gulp in terror.

Robert handed me a small camcorder and a yellow and black device that looked a bit like a revolver without a barrel, were it made of blocky plastic.

“What's this?” I asked as I turned it over in my hands.

“The camera is for taping things like orbs or other weird-looking shit. The yellow thing is an infrared thermometer. We wanna be aware of sudden unexplained drops in temperature.”

I didn’t know why, but I just nodded – he was the expert, after all. He carefully showed me how to take photos and video, how to use the thermometer, and refreshed my memory on how to fire the tranq gun, should we need it. I strapped the silver knife to my belt, too, just in case.

Robert recited a short prayer to God – apparently to guard against evil spirits – and we started walking through the darkening forest. I wasn't sure what to do or think. Robert didn't talk much while we carefully walked through the area.

The sun dipped below the edge of the earth, slowly plunging us into twilight, and Robert started speaking a bit more.

“Other than the Dover Ghost, people get lost in here all the time. I’ve never found any human remains, but I know there’s something here. Sometimes I get weird feelings when I'm up here. Like I'm being watched.”

I kept videotaping and waving the thermometer around. It wasn't changing much. Maybe a few degrees at most, but even that seemed negligible. “What do you mean? Like… that thing we saw last spring?”

Robert paused and looked around. “Maybe.”

“Or the other one that tried to get in our tent. What do we do if we find something like it…?”

Again, I resisted the urge to ask Robert to go home. I wasn't seeing anything on the preview screen of the camcorder – what was I supposed to see? In the ghost hunting shows, odd, formless shadows sometimes crossed the camera, but I wasn't getting anything at all.

Even in twilight, it wasn’t difficult to tell Robert wasn’t really engaged. Not only was I not sure he heard my question, but he kept halting what he was doing to stand there listlessly.

“Rob?” I walked around some low bushes toward him, where he slowly waved the compass and voice recorder around. “Honey?”

Robert lowered the recorder and compass and looked in my eyes. “Yeah?”

I dropped the camera to my side and stopped recording. “Are you feeling okay? You've been kind of quiet today, and you don’t – uh… well, you don’t look so great.”

Robert sighed and closed his eyes. “No… not really. I'm tired, today. Didn't sleep great.”

“I'm sorry. Is something bugging you?”

“No,” he said flatly.

“How come you wanted to go ghost hunting if you're tired?”

Robert worried his bottom lip between his teeth in thought. “Not exactly my greatest idea. Hardly my worst, though.”

The twilight had given way to moonlight peeking over the horizon. “It's not too late to go home, if you want. I can drive.”

Robert cast his gaze to the side. “I feel bad that I dragged you out here on a whim and I'm just not into it. Can we go a bit longer? Just so I don’t feel like it was a total waste.”

I put a hand on his shoulder. “Of course.” He didn’t look at me, but that was okay.

Robert looped us back toward his truck along new terrain, leaves and twigs crunching under our feet as we crept along in the slowly deepening darkness. At least we could look for ghosts on the way back, though I didn’t really want to find one.

“I feel bad that I said you won’t be disappointed,” he mumbled.

“Aw, hon,” I said, turning toward him. His forlorn frown was the only thing disappointing me. I laid a hand on his shoulder, and he diverted his gaze away from me. “I’m not disappointed. This was still a neat outing, don’t you think?”

Robert slowly drew his eyes up to meet mine. “Yeah… it has been pretty neat, even if we haven’t found a ghost.”

I shrugged and smiled. “I kind of figured it’d take a few trips to actually find one anyway.”

“Yeah… you’re right.”

“Let’s try to find something on our way back, at least.”

Traveling through the woods when it was so dark was a little precarious. Even under the moonlight, vines or tree roots nearly tripped me every so often. I thought I caught sight of something moving in the camera’s preview, a shapeless blob, but it was too dark to tell for sure.

“Hey, I think I saw something.”

“Where?”

I pointed and Robert followed my finger. He held out the voice recorder and sidestepped closer to me, a stick snapping under his shoe.

“I don't see anything,” he murmured.

“Uhh… hmm. Well, let’s keep going.”

I kept an eye out for strange shapes in the camera preview, but I didn't see anything the rest of the walk back to the campsite. Robert's compass behaved, and the thermometer didn’t give me anything unusual. Still, Robert’s story about sometimes feeling stalked up here had put me on edge.

“Well… it was _kind of_ a waste, but it could have been worse,” Robert said. He stood in front of the tent and began breaking it down while I packed away the more fragile equipment in the padded bag—

I heard something rustling behind me in some leaves.

“What was that?” I asked. I looked over my shoulder into the dark forest, peering between the trees casting shadows over each other. “Sounded like something walking around, I think.” I couldn't see much, but I didn't see movement.

“Probably a deer. Let's get outta here.”

Robert slung the compacted tent over his shoulder and walked up to me. “Ready to—”

I watched the blood drain from his face, his eyes widening in surprise.

“Get the dart gun, and slowly walk to the truck. Go,” he whispered.

I turned around and saw an enormous wolf covered head to toe in mud, not fifty feet away, baring a mouth full of jagged teeth. “Uh…”

“Just… go,” Robert said. He turned to start toward his truck, but the wolf let out a hideous howl that pierced my soul and chilled me to the core. “Go,” he insisted.

I dug in the bag of hunting supplies for the dart gun and started toward the truck, but Robert pushed me.

“Fuck, go! _Run!”_

I looked over my shoulder—the wolf bounded toward us at full speed. “Oh shit!” I had to hop over a fallen log as I ran. Nothing in the bag felt like the handle of the dart gun. “I can’t find the tranq gun!”

Robert tried to jump over the log—he tripped and fell face first into a pile of dirt.

“Rob!” I grabbed him by the wrist and elbow to help him to his feet, but his jacket was stuck on something. My heart raced in panic and I looked up—the wolf was almost on us. “Get the jacket off!”

Robert writhed out of the jacket and clambered to his feet. The wolf was running right at him. I had to protect him—I shoved Robert out of the way, pushing the air out of his lungs, and the wolf sailed past us with a growl.

“Fuckin’ hell!” Robert yelled.

The vicious animal made a sharp turn—it dove for Robert and my heart stopped as I watched it tackle him to the ground with an angry growl.

_“No!”_

Robert screamed in the darkness and my vision ran red. I unsheathed the silver knife on my belt with a sound like a knife being sharpened, and with a guttural yell I lunged for the wolf, grabbed its filthy mane, and stabbed as hard as I could.

“Let go! _Let go of him!”_ I cried out, my eyes shut as I delivered stab after hateful stab. The animal let out sharp whines of pain with every thrust of the blade into it, but I didn’t care.

Robert kept screaming as a hot fluid ran through my muddy fingers, and the huge animal fell with a thud after a few more forceful stabs of the knife.

After several moments of no movement or noise other than Robert groaning, I let go of the body. “I think it's dead,” Robert panted out.

I took the reprieve to find my bearings, staggering to my feet. The moonlight was enough to see Robert on the forest floor, on his back, the giant gray wolf slumped over him. “Are you okay?”

Robert held a hand against his side and grimaced. “No,” he gritted out. “Help me to the truck, I need first aid.”

My blood ran cold. “Did I stab you?” I choked out.

“No. Well… I don’t think so.”

I shoved the wolf's corpse off him and gagged at the sight of a hideous bite wound along Robert's side. The wolf's fangs had pierced right through his yellow shirt and soaked it in blood. “Oh god…”

My hands and knees shook as I helped Robert to his feet, getting more blood all over his shirt. He hobbled the thirty or so feet to his truck with my help, and I laid him down on the truck bed.

“Fuck, this hurts,” Robert muttered. He wheezed and panted as I dug in the back of the truck, the first aid kit slipping out of my bloody hands. “Get the water, too.”

I brought the first aid kit and a jug of water to Robert, but I stared helplessly at the puncture wounds bleeding profusely. “What do I do? Oh god, what if that thing has rabies?”

“I've had the rabies vaccine, I'll be fine, I just – I need you to be calm for this.”

Robert pulled his shirt off, revealing the wicked bite wound. I couldn't believe how deep it was, like the thing had bit him and shook its head to rip him apart. I washed my hands as best I could, and Robert walked me through cleaning the wound with water and soaking it in iodine.

“God, I forgot how bad iodine burns,” he gritted out. “Well… this'll make for a really cool scar, right?” he chuckled.

I stared, aghast at how big it was. A long row of bleeding punctures made a rough arc on Robert's side. His belly heaved from how rapidly he breathed, and I worried about hyperventilation. I laid a hand on his bare chest, over his heart, and looked in his eyes. “It—it's gonna be okay, Rob,” I murmured, not quite believing it myself.

Robert looked in my eyes, tears streaming down his face from the pain, and his breathing slowed a bit. “I…”

“What do I do now?”

“P-put pressure on it, then…” Robert closed his eyes and braced a hand on his head. “Uh, shit, what then? I'm kinda woozy.”

I didn't know what to say or do. I was still in shock from the bloody mess. This was like a horror movie, without any of the cheesy makeup or goofy villains.

Robert huffed out breaths as he wracked his brain for any clue of what to do. “Uhh… get – get the gauze and medical tape!”

Robert showed me how to dress the wound in a butterfly bandage pattern to hold it together, then I helped him put his ruined shirt back on and sat him down in the passenger seat.

“We need to go to the emergency room,” I said, barely containing my panic as I picked up Robert's jacket and the other things we dropped.

“Emergency room will take too long. You remember where the urgent care clinic is?”

How Robert stayed so comparatively calm in this situation completely escaped me. I loaded everything into the truck and hopped in the driver's seat. “Urgent care it is.”

The drive to civilization felt agonizingly long, despite going fifteen over the limit. I played some of Robert's favorite stations on the radio to try to keep him calm – though it was honestly more for me.

What a horrible thing to happen. I couldn't lose another partner – not again, and especially not like this. I reached for Robert's hand and held on as tight as I could, lacing our fingers together.

We’d just pulled back into town and I was fixing to turn down the street that would lead us to the urgent care clinic when Robert spoke up. “Oh, fuck,” he muttered.

“What?” I asked, failing to keep my anxiety out of my tone.

“I just realized I left my wallet at home. It has my insurance card, we gotta go get it.”

“I'll pay for it out of pocket.”

“What, no,” he said flatly. “It’s just an extra five minutes to save hundreds of dollars. I'll—”

“Robert, I'm scared!” I yelled, my hands shaking on the steering wheel. “I'm scared and I – I need you to be okay.” Tears blurred my vision and I couldn't look at him, or I might snap.

“I'll be okay,” Robert breathed out, sounding like he might faint. “Just take me home to get my wallet, please. It’s – it’s a bite wound, and I’m still conscious.”

“Okay,” I said, turning us onto a road that'd take us to the cul de sac. When we arrived, I pulled into Robert's driveway and left the truck running.

“My wallet should be on the bar, or… maybe in the kitchen?”

I nearly sprinted to the front door – locked. Right, keys. I had to shut off his truck to unlock his house. I didn't bother turning on the lights, but even without light shining through the window from the moon, the bar top was clearly bare. The kitchen didn't have any evidence of a wallet either. I heard the door swing open again, and I ran into the foyer to see Robert staggering around, clutching his side and his forehead.

“Matt… I feel really weird, I need to – need to…”

Robert lost his balance and collapsed under the windowsill. I rushed over to him—

He convulsed violently and let out a gurgling noise. It morphed into some kind of yelp of pain, but rapidly deepened into something much less human. I watched in abject terror and stepped back as I heard bones pop, fabric tear, and a loud snarling fill the room.

When Robert stilled and the snarling ceased, replaced by heavy panting, I could only make out the silhouette of him hunched over in the shadow cast by the windowsill.

“Robert?” I quietly asked as I tiptoed over. “Honey?”

“Stay back!” he yelled, holding out a palm to stop me. His fingers looked… pointy, in the moonlight streaming through the windows. “I don't – I can't control myself…”

“What are you talking about? We have to get you to the clinic—”

 _“No!”_ His voice thundered through the room and although I recoiled from it, I forced myself to step closer to him. “I can't! Just… leave me alone.”

“But your—”

Robert scampered into the corner at a speed I didn't know someone his age could match. He huffed noisy breaths, his back heaving and my heart hammered in my chest as fear demanded I both leave and go to him at once. My feet felt like leaden shoes as I neared him, my fear ramped up as he growled loudly.

 _“I need you to leave,”_ he gritted out. I fell to my knees at his side and in the darkness saw that his ears were pointy, his hair wild, and his eyes unnaturally reflective of what little light there was.

I laid a hand on his back and he melted into me, letting out a loud, pained whimper. He curled tight around me and squeezed all the air out of my lungs, his weirdly sharp fingernails nearly stabbing me.

I stroked down his spine – what else could I do? – and he relaxed into my touch. His ears were definitely very pointy. “Robert… I don’t think that was a wolf,” I said in horrified realization. I craned my neck over the windowsill, but the moon was in the eastern sky, and I couldn't see it from a west-facing window.

“P-please, help me,” he whispered, sounding tiny and terrified as he shuddered around me.

“Honey. Rob… it's okay,” I said, not even remotely believing myself.

“Don't lie to me!”

Robert hugged tighter and buried his face in my neck. I felt fangs against my skin, and I froze.

“Just… try to stay calm. Can I turn on the lights?”

“N-no. You need… to leave. I can't control it,” he stammered, even though he leaned into me to rest more weight on me. “There’s some… insatiable urge in me to either kill, fight, or fuck something, and—”

I had only felt this powerless in my life when Alex died. “Rob, what – what do I do?”

Robert still heaved out deep, scared breaths. “I don’t know… Maybe I – fuck, I can’t focus… Can I get some water?”

I smoothed my palms down his back and his hands lingered in the air, reaching for me as I reluctantly pulled away. “I’ll be right back.”

As I walked to the kitchen my mind swam with all sorts of questions: would he end up like that thing in the woods? Would he try to hurt me, or someone else? What does he even look like, now? But most of all, what do we do now?

I drew a glass of water from the tap and almost stumbled over Betsy on the way out. She'd passed out cold on the threshold between kitchen and living room, somehow still asleep. At least she was spared from this nightmare.

When I came back, Robert was nowhere to be seen, and the front door was wide open.

“Robert?” I called out. Nothing. I looked outside and didn't see him anywhere in the cul de sac. “Robert?!” The sound of wet, shattering glass seemed distant as I fell to my knees on Robert's lawn.

_What now?_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please see end of chapter notes for a notice of potentially triggering content.

I shakily pulled my phone out of my pocket, almost dropping it as I pushed Robert’s contact card. It rang for a few moments… and I heard a ringing from inside Robert’s house. My heart sank to deeper depths as I rushed toward the open door and peered inside to see his phone on the floor near where I had last seen him.

“Oh god…”

Panic tore at my insides as I clambered into my car and clumsily turned the keys—

The engine didn't start. I turned, and turned, until I realized I was so frazzled I’d shifted it into reverse first and the safety kicked in. After more properly starting the car I pulled out, making the tires screech, and drove into the city.

For the next few hours, I called Robert's name out the window as I drove around town, hoping to find him somewhere. Fear was my constant companion as my desperate search stretched into the morning hours. I wasn’t sure where to go or what to do, driving through urban and forested areas of town alike.

I always told Amanda never to drive when she's tired, but every parent became a hypocrite at some point. My desperation to find Robert compelled me to power through the drowsiness until I could barely keep my eyes open. The guilt over risking making Amanda an orphan was almost too much to bear.

I still hadn't found him by the time the sun started to peek over the ocean, and I drove home in defeat. When I pulled into the cul de sac, at the very end I saw Robert sitting on my porch, arms slung over his knees. I had to resist the urge to slam on the gas just to get there three seconds faster.

When I parked and hurriedly climbed out, I stopped at the sight of him. His hands and bare feet were covered in mud, the hems of his pants were torn, and his shirt was a bloody, ragged mess. He wore a haunted, blank expression as he stared ahead at nothing.

“Rob,” I huffed out in a sigh of relief as I walked toward him. I knelt at his side to hug him and froze when I saw all the blood on his face and in his beard.

“Don't touch me,” he warned. “I'm filthy, and I—” He looked me in the eyes and grimaced. “I think I killed and ate a rabbit.”

“What… happened?”

Robert sighed and looked away. “It's all a big blur, like a bad dream fading from memory.” He awkwardly rubbed his temples with the back of his wrists, maybe to avoid spreading mud. “I think I ran in the woods nearby, ate the rabbit, and… I dunno what else. I came to a few blocks away, so…” He shrugged. “Here I am.”

Aside the evidence of the horrors that transpired last night, he looked totally normal. No fangs, no claws, no pointy ears seen in passing in his dimly lit living room.

“We should get you cleaned up.”

I unlocked my house and Robert slowly stood to walk inside. He stared at the clean hardwood floors, but I patted him on the back, avoiding a dirty patch of cloth.

“Come on, I'll clean up the floor later.”

The mud left behind on the floor almost immediately triggered my dadly need to clean it up, but Robert came first. I made him stand in the bathtub while I got a plastic lawn chair for him to sit on and a garbage bag for his tattered clothing, but when I came back he was still standing there, doing nothing.

“Rob? Dear?” He met my eyes, looking emptier than I'd ever seen him before. “Come on, let's get you out of those ruined clothes.” After I wrestled his shirt off him, I stuffed it in the garbage bag. He helped me push down his jeans and underwear, and those went in the bag, too. He’d have to put up with the lawn chair; taking a bath was out of the question.

Robert didn't say or do much of anything at all while I ran the water to let it warm. I sat on the edge of the bathtub and stroked his back, but he didn't react to me. He didn't react when I pulled the shower head off the mount and began rinsing off his hands and feet, either. The water turned a disgusting reddish brown as I blasted away the worst of the mess.

“Sit back and close your eyes,” I said. Robert reclined in the chair and shut his eyes. I rinsed away the blood caking his face and beard, then handed him the shower head. The silence was too much for me. “You want some mouthwash?”

Robert nodded, and I handed off the shower head to pour a paper cup of it. A _lot_ of it. I offered it to him and watched him silently down it and swish for a few moments before he spat it down the bathtub drain. He hadn't moved much otherwise, the shower head spraying on his belly and making water go everywhere.

I sat on the rim of the tub, the errant spray starting to soak my clothes, and put a hand on his jaw to lift his chin and look in his eyes. “Robert. Please, say something. I'm right here. It's gonna be okay. We'll get through this together, okay?”

Robert searched my face for a moment. “I guess I'm a werewolf now, aren't I?”

“I – I suppose?”

He sighed and looked away again, slumping in the chair against the tile wall.

“Come on, you gotta soap up, now. Can I make you some food?”

“Okay.”

Robert slowly shut the shower curtain and I left him alone. I stuffed his torn clothes in the trash bin outside and started boiling some oatmeal while I vacuumed up the mud on the floor and started mopping.

After Robert’s oatmeal and my mopping efforts finished and Robert still hadn’t left the bathroom, I had nothing more I could do except… think. About what to do, how to feel, and… that I had killed something.

No, I killed some _one,_ didn’t I? Did they have friends? A wife or husband? _Kids?_ Last night I stabbed a person-sized hole in the lives of a lot of people and there wasn’t a thing I could do to take it back.

The bathroom door finally opened, and I jumped in my seat at the counter. Robert walked into the kitchen in my bathrobe.

“The bite wound and my scars are all gone,” he said flatly.

“What?”

“Every single one is just… gone.”

I scrutinized what I could see of his chest and sure enough, the enormous scar was gone, replaced with normal skin. He looked hairier, too, or maybe that was just because scars weren’t hairy and there wasn’t one anymore, so of course he’d be hairy. But that…

Robert sat down on a barstool and held out his hands for me. There weren't any nicks on his fingers, and his tattoo was missing.

“Your tattoo, too,” I said, feeling a bit dumb right after. Of course, he'd notice.

“I don't understand.”

I handed Robert his bowl of oatmeal and the glass jar of brown sugar as I stuffed my feelings away to deal with later.

“I don't know how I should feel,” he said, still almost monotone.

He poured in more brown sugar than I probably would let Amanda put in her breakfast. “You want some oatmeal with your sugar?”

Robert didn't respond. I watched as he ate, but he didn't get through much of the bowl.

“Is it too cold?”

Robert sighed and buried his face in his hands. It looked very strange, not seeing the tattoo there.

“Robert,” I said, gently taking his wrists and clasping his hands between mine. “Please. _Please_ talk to me. I love you dearly, and I'm worried sick right now.”

Robert looked away from me with a guilty frown. “I'm sorry I'm worrying you. I just… don't know how I should feel right now. Physically, I feel _fantastic,”_ he said, his eyes widening in amazement. “Every pain in my body's gone. My back doesn't hurt, my joints don’t ache, I feel four times stronger. It’s like I'm twenty years old, again. But…”

I waited with bated breath.

“I…” He stared at his left hand.

“Was the tattoo…?”

Robert scowled. “It was a reminder. ‘Don't trust anyone again.’ I was actually thinking about…” He looked in my eyes, the hard frown melting away. “…getting it lasered off. I didn't really need or want it anymore. Not with my ring to remind me of you.”

“I – I don't know what to say,” I murmured, a lovely warmth temporarily displacing my worry. “Where _is_ your ring, anyway?”

“I left it at my house. When you let go to get me water, it – I felt an overpowering need to run free, so I took it off in my last moment of lucidity. But… now I keep wondering what will happen to me. Will that happen every full moon? Every night? Will I hurt someone? Will I hurt you?” he quietly asked, fear falling over his face.

“I don't believe you're capable of hurting me.” I looked him in the eyes, trying for dead-set conviction. It brought a smile to him, at least.

“Also, my hearing and sense of smell are much more sensitive, so that… kind of sucks. Please empty the trash when you get the chance, by the way. The fish you tossed in the compost is absolutely rank.”

I turned around to glance at the cabinet where I kept the garbage bin and blushed in embarrassment. “Sorry, I'll… deal with that.”

“But I just… don't know what to do. I don't know what I'm capable of, or… what will happen. I'm scared, Matt,” he whispered, his face turning down in despair again. “I'm scared that I'll become that thing in the woods.”

My mouth felt like a desert, and I ever so gently stroked his hands. “Robert. I promised you I'd stand by you in life, loving and caring for you. This doesn’t change that.”

Robert's lips curled into an ugly frown and he bowed his head.

“We’ll get through this together. This ring I wear is my promise to you.”

“I don't deserve you,” he huffed out. A few tears fell onto my hands. Robert took a deep breath and looked up at me, a stream of water down his cheeks. “Am I a monster now? I don't want to be a monster.”

I didn't know. I wanted so badly to say no and know it was the truth.

“Can you call Dr. Taft and tell him I'm sick or something?” Robert asked in a wavering tone, sniffing loudly after. “I don't care about the cancellation fee, I just – I need to be alone.”

My heart hurt, a deep, anxious ache that made a terrible day worse. “Will you promise me something?”

“What?”

“Hearing you say things like ‘am I a monster’ makes me… _really_ worried. Just… promise me you _just_ need to be alone for a bit.”

Robert slowly nodded. “I just need some time to process this. I promise.”

“Okay.” I kissed the back of his hand and along his knuckles. “You mean so much to me, Rob, werewolf or not.”

“I'll come back tonight for dinner. I promise.”

“I'll fix up a surprise.”

Robert perked up in interest. “What kind of surprise?”

“You'll have to wait and see what it is.”

He narrowed his gaze and glared. “I don't like surprises.”

“Don't lie to me,” I said with a grin.

“It's a bit of a lie.” Robert stood and straightened the robe out. “Can I borrow some of your clothes?”

“Sure. Take whatever you need.”

A few minutes later, Robert walked out wearing my California T-shirt and jeans. They looked almost excruciatingly tight.

“I'll be back soon,” he said, approaching me with his arms outstretched. I went in and curled around him close, breathing in how he smelled. “I love you, Matt.”

“I love you, too.”

“See you soon,” Robert said, then he stepped out into the bright morning sun, and I felt like I might faint from everything catching up to me.

 

* * *

 

A quiet beep woke me up around two o’clock. I cracked my eyes open to orient myself and snatched my phone off the nightstand to see what it was.

From: Robert  
_i know you're really worried_  
_So_  
_i’m still here_

I was so touched by it I couldn't think of a proper response to it. I lay in bed staring at it for a few minutes, but nothing came to me. Eventually I just…

To: Robert  
_I love you Rob_

From: Robert  
_i love you too_

Something snapped and I sobbed loudly, gasping for breath with my face in my pillow as it hit me that I could have lost him entirely, and I still didn't know if I would.

Would I lose my boyfriend if he did turn into that thing? What if he hurt me by accident? How would I (or he) feel? How much of an animal would he become?

It twisted into a painful sickness in my stomach and an ache in my chest. Even though I had tears streaming down my face and I desperately needed to blow my nose, I typed out a casual response.

To: Robert  
_I'll be ready for you to swing by around 7, sound good?_

I hoped all my worries were unfounded.

 

* * *

 

I woke again at six, and at six thirty I stopped by the deep-dish pizza parlor to pick up a large ultimate Hawaiian just for Robert.

I made it home a few minutes before seven and stuffed it in the oven to warm it. There weren't many other things I could do; date night wasn't until Sunday and making tonight romantic seemed really gauche.

I’d barely gotten to taking my shoes off before Robert knocked on my door. I let him in and noticed he looked unkempt and disheveled in a ratty T-shirt and pants that looked one size too small, his hair a mess and his eyes reddened.

“Hey,” I said, laying my hands on his sides.

“Hey,” he said lowly.

“Are you okay?”

Robert let out a weary sigh and looked past me. He looked more exhausted than he had in weeks. “No,” he muttered.

“Come on, let's sit down.”

Robert toed off his shoes and shrugged off his leather jacket. We sat on the couch and wrapped around each other for a tender hug. He was so warm, and he felt slightly bigger than he used to. I stroked up and down his back, and he worked a hand up under my shirt to touch bare skin.

“I couldn't sleep,” he said into my neck, his voice muffled. He took a few deep breaths of me. “I'm scared, Matt…”

“I know, I know you are. I am, too.”

Robert held me a bit closer and a bit tighter. “I smoked all day and I had a few urges to drink, but other than that I just… worried.”

I pulled away from the hug and cradled his face in my hands. He locked his sad, brown and amber eyes with mine. “You look like you're hurting pretty bad.”

He huffed out a breath and half-closed his eyes. He looked drowsy. “I cried a lot… and I can tell you did, too.”

I gave him as soft and loving a kiss as I could, stroking his bearded jaw as I met his warm lips. He lifted me up onto his lap and licked into my mouth, and I tasted a very strong minty buzz.

I drew away with a smile and kissed his cheek. “You might not like dinner right away if you brushed so recently.”

“I already know it's that ultimate Hawaiian pizza I love.”

“What?!” I stared in shock and mild offense. “How did you – oh. Smell.”

Robert shrugged. “It's all over the house.”

I rubbed the bridge of my nose. “Well, there goes my surprise.”

“It was still a surprise when I walked in.”

“Come on, I bet you're starving.”

Robert and I took a large slice each and sat back down on the couch facing each other. It wasn't the best of ideas – tomato and barbecue sauce wouldn’t come out of the fabric very easily – but I just wanted to eat with my boyfriend in intimate silence on a comfortable couch.

It worried me to see him set his plate on the coffee table with half his pizza slice untouched, but I couldn't blame him. If I were him right now, I probably wouldn't feel like eating, either.

I set mine aside and scooted closer to him so I could lay my hands on his back and thigh. “How are you feeling?”

Robert braced an elbow on the back of the couch and his head on his hand. He looked listless and distant. “I feel horrible. I don't know what to do, or what will happen, or who I can talk to about this. On top of that, I've felt sick since like… six?”

“I'm sorry. What can I do to ease the pain?”

“I don't know.” Robert recoiled and blinked rapidly. “Whoa, I don't feel right.” He clumsily stood and started for the hallway but stumbled a bit.

I jumped to my feet, ready for anything I had to do for him. “Are you gonna throw up?”

Robert mumbled something I couldn't understand, then fell to his knees clutching his head. He yelled in pain and it quickly morphed into a snarl as he doubled over and shuddered violently. I backed away in horror as I realized what was happening.

“Oh god… but, the moon—”

Bones popped and a low growl came from Robert until he stopped snarling and stilled. I could only see his heaving back from where I stood, but my heart pounded hard in terror as I awaited my fate.

But, instead of being attacked or eaten or something, Robert sat up and held up his hands to inspect them. From behind, his hair looked shaggy and his ears elongated into pointy tips. I quickly turned and shut the drapes to protect my beloved Robert from prying eyes.

“Matt?”

“Y-yeah?”

“It feels different tonight.”

Robert stood up and turned around to face me. I was afraid of what he’d look like, so I averted my gaze down, where I noticed his fingernails has thickened and lengthened into claws, and his arms and the back of his hands were a lot hairier. Nowhere near animal fur, but still.

“Matt, honey… look at me.”

I slowly raised my eye line and braced myself, but he—

He still looked human, for the most part. His short, scruffy beard had thickened – it looked a bit fluffy, to be honest – and he had fangs protruding from his lips. His brow looked a little bit more prominent and his eyebrows bushier than before.

But worst of all, he hunched in a submissive, scared posture, his eyes wide in fear as he awaited judgment.

I swallowed, but my mouth felt dry. “Are you… you?” I asked, unsure what else to say.

Robert slowly approached me – we were both the scared animal, I realized – and held out a hand for me.  , and love wasn't just something you felt; it was something you did. Not just when it was easy, but when it was the hardest thing to do.

I reached forward and took his hand, feeling a bit like I were in _Beauty and the Beast_ , but with a less beastly Beast, and closed my eyes as I hugged him tight.

“You aren't a monster,” I croaked out as tears started flowing.

Robert held me close, though his claws stuck into my back a bit. I felt him crying into my neck and I gently rocked us side to side.

“It's okay,” I murmured. “It's okay.” I snuck a hand up the back of shirt—oh boy, his back was a bit furry, now. It felt like he had sparse, soft hair all over him now instead of just above the base of his spine.

“Can you still love me?” Robert whimpered.

“Oh, Rob, of course I can. Of course,” I choked out, meaning it and hoping I could keep meaning it. I pulled away to look him in his eyes – his very dimly glowing eyes? – and saw a man scared out of his mind for more reasons than I could fathom. I ran my hands along his jaw and gently scratched his soft beard. “Don't worry.”

Robert let out a long sigh of relief. “Okay… okay.”

“Let's just sit together.” I led him back to the couch, my heart hurting from how scared I was, and sat as close to him as I could. “You said it feels… different?”

Robert scratched the back of his head and recoiled – probably from his sharp claws. “Yesterday I felt this… overpowering _need_ to run free in the woods and hunt or fight another animal.” Robert sounded like he had a mouth full – and of course he did, his canines were fangs, now. That had to be awkward. “Today it's kind of in the forefront of my mind but I can mostly ignore it.”

“Aren't werewolves only supposed to change on the full moon?”

Robert shrugged. “How am I supposed to know?”

“Well I mean like, in movies and stuff…”

Robert dug his e-cigs out of his jacket pocket and had to carefully open the box with his claws. I watched him fiddle with one of them, trying to turn it on, but his claws only got in the way.

“Here, let me,” I said. I grabbed it and switched it on for him.

“Thanks.” He took a deep drag off it and exhaled shakily.

This was so weird, so unbelievably surreal, watching my _werewolf boyfriend_ do something as modern and mundane as vaping. I couldn't think of anything to do or say. I just didn't want him to escape into the woods again.

“The full moon was yesterday,” Robert said. “Today's a waning gibbous, but it may as well be full. So maybe that's it.” He buried his face in his hands and exhaled smoke between his palms. “God… my heart won't stop racing.”

I laid a hand on his back and slowly stroked along his spine. He relaxed into it and leaned a bit closer before gathering me in his arms and curling around me. He was still just as tender as he always was, but the fangs gently pressing against my shoulder…

The fangs made me really uncomfortable.

I tried to lean my head into him as I hugged him to push away from the sharp teeth, but he buried his face in me instead.

Then he did something a little… weird; instead of just sit there he started smelling me intently, first my neck and face, then he went for my chest, audibly sniffing.

“What are you doing?” I said with a chuckle.

Robert tore away from me, his face burning hot red. “I – I don't know,” he sputtered. “It just – I – the smell was… comforting? I couldn't help myself.”

He shrunk away into the corner of the couch, huddled up and nursing his e-cig after that.

“Rob, it's okay.”

“It's so fucking mortifying, though,” he exclaimed, covering his face. “First, I smell your chest, what next? Sniff your ass like a fuckin’ dog?”

I both did and didn't want to laugh. He sounded so upset I couldn't do anything but rub his back.

“I want to go be alone, this is so embarrassing.”

“Please don't leave,” I murmured. Robert looked in my eyes with a sad frown. “I don't really know what to do or say to help, but I just know you can either do this alone, or we can do this together, and I think we'd both prefer to do it together.”

Robert’s reflective eyes flitted over my face for a moment in quiet thought. “Yeah… you're right. What _can_ you say or do in a time like this, though?”

I took one of his hands between mine and gently stroked with my thumbs. They looked strange without the scars I'd grown accustomed to, and the thicker hair would take some getting used to. The scariest part was the claws, so clearly evolved to rend and rip that I couldn't not be nervous around them.

“I can tell you're afraid, that's the worst part.”

A chill ran through me and I looked up. Robert refused to meet my eyes.

“It's not hard to tell from watching you, but I can smell it, too. I don't know how I know that's what it is, but… I _hate_ knowing I'm scaring you.”

“I guess there's no point in hiding it… but I'm – there's no way I'm leaving you alone if you need somebody.” While idly looking around, my gaze fell upon our leftover pizza. I picked up his plate and shifted on the couch to brush up against him – maybe corner him so he couldn’t move away anymore. “You never finished your pizza.”

Robert stared at the plate impassively.

“I invited you over for dinner—”

“I invited myself.”

“You are _always_ welcome and wanted for dinner,” I asserted. “Besides, I bought this pizza _for_ you. So, let's have dinner. Maybe… doing something normal will help.”

Robert stared at me – god, the fangs were a bit creepy – and eventually his lips curled up in a smile. “Can we watch horrible movies and play drinking games?”

“We can do whatever you want.”

 

* * *

 

Robert found _Scarface_ on TV and I got a pitcher of ice water. We agreed to the following rules: someone swears, take a sip. Someone does a hard drug, take a sip. Tony kills someone, take a sip. Whoever can go without using the bathroom the longest wins.

I felt the need to pee building by the third country change in the movie. By the fifth I was about ready to throw in the towel, but then Robert jumped to his feet and ran off to the bathroom.

“Uncle, uncle!” he yelled.

I cackled and pumped my fist in victory, but I hurried off to the bathroom, too, after he finished up.

“I should have gone before we started, dammit.” Robert looked a lot happier and relaxed now that he had something else to focus on. Even though I was nervous I wanted to give him some normalcy. “Lemme sit in front of you or – wait, lie down. I wanna cuddle.”

Robert lay down on his side and I lay in front of him. He curled his arms around me and linked his hands with mine, his chin hooked over my shoulder to watch the movie. It was easy to forget, cuddled up with his warm body molding to my back, that he wasn't fully human anymore.

I startled awake at the sound of a gunshot from the TV; Tony had killed someone _again._

“Al Pacino does a great job with this,” I said drowsily.

“Not sure if I prefer the remake or the original, personally.” Of course, the biggest film connoisseur I’d ever known would be conflicted about it.

“I'm ready for bed. How about you?”

Robert sat up behind me but didn't otherwise move.

“Rob?”

“I'm… not really comfortable sharing a bed when I'm like this…”

I got up and sat on the coffee table to face him. I wasn't exactly keen on sleeping with someone who had _claws_ without wearing some kind of shred- or stab-resistant shirt. Did they even make those?

“So, what do you…?” I asked, with a bit of an uplift in tone.

Robert rubbed his face and stared dejectedly at the floor. “I'll sleep in the sleeping bag.”

“I can sleep in the sleeping bag if you'd rather my bed. I want you be as comfortable as possible.”

“But I— “

 _“Robert,”_ I said, a bit more sternly than I meant to. “You’re dealing with a lot right now. The last thing you deserve is an uncomfortable sleeping bag. Sleep in my bed, okay?”

Robert let out a sad sigh, reluctantly stood, and walked toward the bathroom. I followed and watched in fascination as he brushed his teeth – and fangs. Once we were both ready and I’d set up everything, he bundled up in the blankets on my bed while I lay down in the sleeping bag.

“Goodnight, Rob,” I said.

“Goodnight.”

I stared at the dark ceiling in quiet contemplation as the reality of the situation hit me all at once, from Robert’s new animal-like features, to the concerning question of if he’d turn every night, now. It would be horrifically disruptive to change daily.

“Matt? Are you still awake?” Robert whispered.

“Yeah.”

For a moment I thought maybe I imagined that he said anything, because he didn’t respond for a few moments.

“Can I hold you?” he asked quietly. “You can sleep in the bag, but I just – I wanna hold you.”

 _God, yes._ I wormed myself into a stand without getting out of the bag and hopped to my bed. Robert held out his arms and I rolled onto my side next to him and felt him curl around me, his hands clutching my chest.

“I’m so scared,” he whimpered. “I don’t know what will happen to me.”

I couldn’t hold hands with him through the sleeping bag, though I wished I could. “It’s okay to be scared. I am, too.”

Robert shifted and curled one arm around my belly and the other around my chest with my back against him. The drowsiness I felt during the movie returned and I quickly fell into dreamland.

 

* * *

 

When I woke, there was a dim light shining through the window, and Robert still clutched me in his arms. I’d spun around in my sleep to nestle my face in his chest hair and the sleeping bag had fallen below my midriff; we were both bare naked against each other. My lips curled up in a smile and I breathed him in—

He smelled a bit different now. Huh.

Robert stroked his hands up and down my back at a snail’s pace, lightly petting me. It felt so nice and intimate…

I hugged him for a while as he wordlessly petted me. It was like nothing had changed at all, except… a lot had changed. His pecs were firmer, he smelled different, and there wasn’t a big stripe of hairless skin on his chest anymore.

Robert gave a kiss to my neck and let go to crawl to the edge of the bed.

“Where’re you going?” I mumbled.

Robert stretched and blinked bleary eyed at me. “I can’t take this sitting down. I have to figure out what’s up.”

“Uh… okay?”

“I’m going to the library to research werewolves.”

I stared, mouth agape. “Will you even find anything? I mean… who would publish factually accurate information about werewolves?”

Robert shrugged. “I have to try somewhere.”

I lay still as he dressed. I wanted to say something, but everything that came to mind didn’t sound good.

“I’ll see you later,” he said.

“Be safe.”

Robert paused to look at me for a moment. “I will.”

Then he left, locking the front door behind him with a loud click, and the house was empty again… save for me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More blood. It isn't particularly graphic, but still.


	3. Chapter 3

I didn't hear from Robert the rest of the day; maybe he spent it researching, maybe he just needed space, though that didn't seem wise. He wasn't coping with this very well. I wasn't either, but… who the hell could I talk to about not adjusting to my boyfriend turning into a werewolf?

Sunday was our date day, and I had plans. I really hoped he wouldn’t want to skip them – partly for selfish reasons, as I still wanted to spend time with him – but maybe it’d help distract him from our woes if we kept to our schedule.

 

* * *

 

To: Robert  
_Are you feeling up to going out for lunch?_

If I didn't go do something that kept me away from my phone, I'd go nuts waiting for him to reply, so I left my phone in my room and took my morning shower. When I came out nice and clean, I had a few messages waiting.

From: Robert  
_for our date? yeah  
when were we meeting again_

I let out a sigh of relief and sat on my bed to stare at yesterday’s silence.

To: Robert  
_Can I pick you up at 12:30?_

From: Robert  
_sure_

Going out will be good for him. I hope.

 

* * *

 

I took a page out of Robert's book and drove my car two houses down to his. Betsy barked and scratched at the door when I rang the bell with the car idling. A few moments passed before I heard Robert stomp down the stairs and come outside.

“Hey,” he said with a small smile. He had a red sweater on that looked a size small, which was wildly out of character for him. It made him look ten times more huggable.

“Hey.” I leaned in and kissed him hello. “Ready?”

“I'm starving, let's go.”

I hoped he wasn't being literal.

Robert stayed quiet while I drove, but I groped for his hand while my eyes were on the road and found purchase. He curled his hand around mine, and I felt the ring on his finger.

The place I picked for our date was a little lunch café. I had never tried it, only made vague plans to go that I’d invariably forget about – until now. When I parked and got out, I waited with bated breath to see how he’d react to the café styled like a dark log cabin, but…

Robert just followed me through the front door with a disinterested, flat look.

At least the café wasn't too busy. While waiting for a seat, I noticed the smell of frying fish and seasonal fruit wafting out from the kitchen.

“This looks cozy,” I said. The burnt umber wallpaper and photographs of mountainside pastures and logwood towns gave the café a charming, rustic feel. The dark wood tables and chairs only heightened it.

A waiter seated us by a window and served us water and paper-thin tortilla chips while we looked over the menu, but my attention was still on Robert.

He looked weary again, like he'd either spent too little time sleeping or too much time out late. I was leaning toward the former, since his hair was messy like he’d just rolled out of bed. I smiled at him for a few moments, watching him stare at me until he gave me a little smile, too. I took his hands in mine on the table and lightly petted him. He didn't look fully present, but… well, he had a good excuse.

His hands were unfamiliar now, so smooth since his scars disappeared. The sleeves of his sweater were rolled up to the elbows, and he had a lot of handsome hair on his arms. He looked both rugged and soft all at once.

It seemed like I brought him back to the present, because his interest in the café eventually piqued and he looked around instead of just at me.

“You feeling better, now?” I asked.

“Maybe a bit,” he said quietly.

I withheld how worried I'd been, though I was sure he knew anyway. “I've been looking forward to bringing you here all week.”

“This place reminds me of summers with my uncle in his log cabin when I was a kid.”

“Yeah?”

“We’d fish up dinner from the river, cut and clean it ourselves,” he said, pantomiming cutting something with his hands. “Something changed in him, the last summer I visited…”

I narrowed my gaze at him, my suspicion immediately triggered. “Did something happen?”

“One night I woke up from something outside, something big scratching the walls. My uncle grabbed his shotgun and told me to be quiet while he went to investigate.” Roberts eyes widened and he hunched over toward me, lowering his voice as he spoke. “I heard something thud, then I swear I heard him yelling. It turned to screaming—”

I knew it was a joke, but I played along anyway, hanging onto every word just to keep him talking.

“—and when he came back inside and I asked what happened, he denied anything had happened at all.” He shook his head solemnly. “I swear I saw a bite mark on his neck, but it wasn’t there the next day.”

“You mean like… an animal bite?”

“I don’t know, but that’s when I really started believing that there was something else out there.”

“You’re kidding,” I said with a small grin.

Robert let out a huff of air, like half a laugh. “Yeah, I’m kidding. Or am I?” His gaze drew down to the menu and he changed topics at a breakneck speed. “The flatbread pizzas sound good. You want to try one?”

“Sure.”

“How does the Collina sound?”

“Go for it.” I honestly just wanted him to have a nice lunch, I'd do whatever.

Robert ordered a pomegranate ‘mocktini,’ and the jalapeño pear mocktini sounded so bizarre I had to try it.

“So… I was thinking,” I started. “You up for some fun when we get home?”

Robert raised an eyebrow. “What _kind_ of fun?”

“The kind you have between bed sheets.”

“Yeah?”

I played with his fingers a little bit and made a ring with mine around two of his. “We could spend a little time bonding, yeah?” I asked, gently running my fingers up and down his in a little euphemistic gesture. “Haven't been together with nothing between us for a while.”

“Matt, please, there are people nearby,” he teased. He loved to pretend he cared what other people thought, and loved when I didn't.

“Say yes,” I whispered.

Robert blushed and grabbed my hand to stop the erotic gesture. “Why would I turn you down? Of course, I'm up for it.”

I grinned and released his hand, though I reached under the table and grabbed one of his legs to rub his calf as I looked in his beautiful eyes.

The waiter brought the drinks by, and I took a sip of the jalapeño pear drink. My lips puckered from the bizarre taste. It had a spicy kick to it that didn't jive with the sweet pear juice very well. The lime made it worse.

Robert's purple pomegranate drink looked much more appealing. It somehow transitioned to orange at the bottom without turning a muddy brown in the middle, like an alchemist had made it instead of a bartender. “You want a sip?” he asked, an eyebrow cocked in amusement.

I forced myself to swallow and waved him off. “Oh, no, I couldn't. I don't really like mine and I’d hate to make you share.”

“Come on,” he said. He held his drink out for me and I reluctantly took a sip – it was _wonderfully_ sweet and sour, and I instantly wished I had ordered that instead. “Good, right?”

I shrugged. “I had to try the jalapeño thing just so I could say I had.”

“I would have done the same.”

I watched the other patrons for a while, and I looked at Robert while I rubbed his leg, until the waiter delivered the pizza to us. It was a large, rectangular flatbread about the size of a dinner mat cut into irregular triangles – probably meant to be artsy or something. It had melted cheeses, sausage, onions, and mushrooms. I wasn't the biggest fan of mushrooms, but I'd deal with it.

After a bite I had second thoughts; the mushrooms felt rubbery and I only tolerated them crispy. I had to pick them off, but other than that it was good, and Robert loved it. We demolished half the pizza, and by then Robert patted his belly and threw in the towel. Or rather, napkin.

“That was awesome. I don't wanna overdo it, though.”

“Especially not with what we're planning,” I said with a big smile.

I wondered what Robert would like to do. I had my own desires and ideas, but we liked to mix it up. You couldn't really go wrong with something tender, though.

The waiter asked if we wanted dessert as he took our pizza to box up. I looked at Robert, who shrugged in indifference. “Can we take one to go?” I asked.

“Sure,” the waiter said.

“How does the pumpkin cobbler sound?”

“Pumpkin?” Robert looked at the handwritten menu on the table and pursed his lips. “Sounds great.”

“I'll be right back with it in a box for you.”

Waiting was almost tortuous. I tried to ignore the mild arousal that itched at the back of my mind and in my dick when I knew I was gonna have sex, or when I was planning to jack off but wasn't quite ready yet. Resisting the urge to palm myself was easy in such a public place, but the urge was still there.

The waiter came back with our check and boxes. The pumpkin cobbler smelled delicious; it was such a shame that I couldn't have it now. I caught Robert staring at the box as I pulled cash for a tip out of my wallet.

As we walked out with the boxes, I thought again about what Robert might like. Maybe he'd want something a bit rougher today. Maybe he wanted to be cherished. I'd be cool with both.

 

* * *

 

When we walked in the front door I had to resist going right to Robert and kissing him as deep as I could. I put away the leftovers and turned around—

I jumped in surprise to see Robert standing right behind me. He hadn't made a sound sneaking up on me.

“Sorry,” he said, biting a lip to hold back a smirk. He put his hands on my sides and looked deep in my eyes.

I cupped his jaw and stroked his thick neck as I looked in his beautiful chocolate brown eyes. The amber ring in the center of his irises looked like gold in the right light. He stepped closer and lined up his lap with mine, his hard cock pressed against my hip.

“You got me thinking about this all afternoon,” he whispered.

I held the back of his head and carded my fingers through his soft hair, then closed my eyes and leaned in to meet his lips. I mouthed at him and his tongue snuck out to lick mine as I slowly gave him a tender kiss, my cock pressed up against him. I shifted until I felt his shaft on mine through our pants.

Robert let out a quiet moan into my mouth and pulled away to rest his forehead against mine. “Did you have anything in mind for today?” he asked, his voice low, sultry, and silky smooth.

“Maybe I want you to decide what we do.”

“I picked last time.”

“Don't care,” I said.

Robert stroked his palms up and down my back, his rock-hard dick a constant presence against me. “I wanna watch you suck me off.”

“Can I take you after I swallow you?”

“I would _love_ that.”

I kissed him again and gently pushed him toward my room. I wished we had candles or rose petals, or something set up in advance, but it wouldn't make or break the moment. As we walked, I peeled off his sweater and let it fall in the hallway. He unbuttoned my pants and shirt as I rubbed my hands over his chest, the soft hair covering him tickling my palms, and I stroked a finger along the scar on his—

Oh, right… it wasn't there anymore. His light brown skin was entirely unblemished now, the long scar replaced with normal skin as if it'd never been there at all.

Robert diverted his gaze and cleared his throat. “Did you wanna, uh, dive in right away?”

“In a bit, don't worry.”

In my room, I eagerly unbuttoned his pants and watched them fall to the floor, and he stripped me of my shirt and slacks. He looked different in the low light, in a way I couldn't quite place, yet. His body felt a bit firmer – bigger – under my fingers.

I locked the door behind me and guided him to sit on the edge of my bed. He handed me a pillow, and I dropped to my knees to bury my face in his tummy. He _definitely_ felt firmer there. I trailed my palms up and down his back as I kissed his belly, then I stopped and looked up in his eyes.

“Can I turn on a light? I wanna see you.”

Robert switched the lamp on, and I spent a few moments looking him over. His belly was flat and taut now, covered in a beautiful coat of dark hair like always. I stroked a hand down his tummy and up toward his pecs, much more defined than just a few days ago. Even his biceps and forearms looked beefier. As I trailed my fingers down his arms, I drunk in the sight of him, more muscular and stronger than ever.

“Gosh, Rob, it’s like you spent six months working out in the span of three days.”

Robert’s lips curled up in a sheepish smile and his face turned red. “I guess it hasn’t been all bad…”

He laid a hand on my shoulder as I rubbed his body. His hard cock still pointed right at my chin and getting to touch his hard muscles made me ache to suck him deep. I pushed gently on his chest and he reclined, his weight braced on his arms, pointing his cock right at me with his legs spread. Every time I got to do this was an absolute treat, and it wouldn't be any different this time.

“You’re such a beautiful man,” I whispered. I said something like it often, but it was the truth.

I laid a palm on Robert's thigh and curled my fingers around his shaft. He locked eyes with me, and I dove in to lick and suck his nuts. I buried my nose in his lap and breathed him in as I sucked his balls one by one, and he laid a hand on my shoulder.

He asked to watch, so I made sure he had a good viewing angle as I laved my tongue over his hairy nuts. I let off with a quiet slurp and laid a kiss under the crown of his dick. When I pulled his cock in my mouth, I slowly sucked up and down his shaft and his hand shuddered lightly on my back.

“Oh… god, that feels good,” he whispered. I pulled him deep and worked my tongue along his cock, tasting him and getting him wet and warm. Every few moments I felt a throb – harder than his pulse, but not enough to signal an impending orgasm. I really wanted to drag it out and make him feel good.

My cock needed some attention, but I focused on Robert's; jacking off while sucking dick didn't make for a very good blowjob. I cupped his balls in my hand and pulled them back a bit, then pushed deep to suck some more cock between my lips and swallow around him.

Robert let out a long, drawn out breath, but didn't do much other than rub my neck. Maybe he was nervous or something, but I hoped not.

I varied my pace to keep him guessing as I kissed or licked the tip of his perfect penis or took him deep enough to swallow his entire length. He shuddered when I drew back and curled my lips around the head, sucking on him hard.

“I'm gonna cum soon,” he quietly huffed out.

I let off and rubbed the crown over my tongue, getting a big drop of precum to taste. When I was sure he was still looking, I took his entire cock deep and swirled my lips a bit. His breath came in louder waves and I gently sucked until his shaft throbbed a few times.

Robert lay down until his weight was on his elbows, and I had to adjust to keep sucking his cock and massaging his balls at the same time. He throbbed harder and I stroked a hand along his thigh and hummed around him, then the first rope of cum shot in my mouth.

“Oh fuck, suck me, Matt,” Robert whispered as he started pumping his load. I swallowed, and swallowed… and almost choked. _God,_ there was a lot of cum. I think I swallowed nine ropes of jizz before I actually had to pull off of him.

I looked up at Robert; he had his head thrown back in pleasure. I looked down at his spit-covered dick and watched him throb between my fingers, pumping more and more cum all over his cock, my hand, and his hairy belly in big jets. I stared in amazement and counted another seven ropes shot, in addition to the nine I ate. It wasn't watery either; it was thick, white ropes, shot halfway up his tummy. He looked beautiful when he came, and especially handsome with his belly fur covered in jizz.

I dove in to suck his cock some more and got a rope of cum stuck to my cheek for it. I closed my eyes in reflex and gently massaged his balls and taint with both hands as he emptied his nuts between my lips. I swallowed him through another six ropes, his lovely cock rhythmically pumping his prodigious load for me to eat, until he apparently could shoot no more.

“Oh my god,” he breathed out, staring at me and his belly in shock. “That's new.”

I finished sucking cum off his dick and pulled off with a kiss to the head. “Wow. I feel full again.”

Robert stroked my head and I took the opportunity to appreciate the thick ropes of semen stuck to his belly hair. I wasn't one to waste perfectly good cum – especially not Robert’s – so I did the only thing reasonable and began cleaning him off with licks and kisses.

“That’s unbelievably hot,” Robert said. He laughed as I licked his jizz off his belly and swallowed every drop, slowly sucking his cock between each rope I ate. Robert thumbed the cum off my face and offered his finger for me to lick clean. His face turned red and he smiled sheepishly when I sucked it down to the knuckles and swallowed cum off him.

“Rob,” I started, after eating the last drop off his happy trail and my hand “That was _so much_ cum. I’m so hard that if I don’t get in you _now,_ the blue balls will be a diagnosable condition.”

“You fuckin’… dork.” Robert crawled backward up to bed and made himself comfortable. “Get me ready,” he said with a sultry grin.

I sat on my knees, my painfully hard cock dripping precum on the sheets, and opened the tube of lube he handed me. He held one leg, I held the other and cupped his beautiful ass as I pressed my fingers inside his perfect butthole. I loved watching the faces he made whenever I fingered him, ranging from squirming under me – as men often did when they had their G spot at someone’s mercy – to rolling his eyes to the back of his head in pleasure.

When I was sure he was ready, I slicked myself up and lightly poked his nuts with the tip of my dick. “Ready?”

“Give it to me, Matt,” he said.

I looked in his eyes as I lined up and pushed my cock inside him. His body engulfed my cock, and I pushed until my balls hugged his butt. I almost shot my load then and there, feeling him hug every inch of my manhood in wet heat.

I dove in and hugged him close, his muscled back firm under my palms, then started a languid pace of thrusting in from the tip of my cock to the base. Robert wrapped his arms tight around me and used his legs to piston me in as he sucked on my tongue. I lost myself in him as I clutched him against me, kissing him desperately. The only things that existed were him, his ass swallowing my cock, and the steadily rising pleasure that would soon tip over the point of no return.

I needed to empty myself deep in him; I varied my aim, trying to hit his G spot, and he writhed under me with a huff of pleasure every time I hit it.

Making him moan was enticing enough that just to meet that end, I let my tempo drag. I thrust to my balls and cradled his head in a hand to guide our kiss deeper. I pulled out halfway and stroked a hand down his muscled back. With another thrust in, he gripped my back and almost left scrapes in my skin. He smelled wonderfully sweaty and tasted like heaven as I sucked on his tongue, his chest against mine and our hearts racing with excitement.

I pulled away and buried my face in his neck as I pushed particularly deep, grinding my shaft inside him. He let out a little growl that deepened, and his skin felt a bit hairier with every passing second and every drive in his ass. I drew back to look at him—

“AHHHH!”

I recoiled away, the sight of him with fangs and glowing eyes replacing my passion with shock. Claws dug sharply into my skin, and the world fell out from under me as I tumbled backward and fell onto the floor with a loud thud.

“Ow…”

Pain seared through my bad knee and my low back, my dick hurting from being bent a bit too far when I pulled out so suddenly. I'd landed bent over, my legs dangling over my head, and my vision swam from dizziness. I could only lay there in agony for a moment, the urge to cum still lingering in my lap but rapidly dissipating.

I heard Robert rustling the blankets, but he didn't say anything. It hurt to roll over and let my lower body hit the floor, and hurt yet more getting back up onto the bed,—

Robert was under two blankets, wrapped up tight, sitting hunched over himself. I think. Hard to tell with two blankets on him.

“Robert?”

I moved the blankets to reveal him and my heart froze upon seeing my boyfriend staring at the wall, tears streaming down his face, his expression set in anger and sadness. He had sharp fangs, and his beard was extra thick. The glowing eyes were the most disorienting.

“I scared you,” he muttered, his voice shaky and wet. “I didn't realize I—and it scared you.”

The cold in my gut intensified. I sat by his side and tried to guide his chin so he'd meet my eyes, but he resisted it. “Aww, Robert…”

“Don't ‘aww, Robert’ me,” he spat out, recoiling away from my hand. “Can't fuck a monster, can you?”

“Honey, please. I'm sorry. It just startled me. I'm sorry…”

“I don't want your apologies,” he yelled, punching the mattress with a fist. “I want you to fuck me hard and cum deep in my ass!” He breathed out with a whimper, and his lip quivered as new tears flowed. After a moment he quietly said, “I want you to make love to me, and fill me up. I want you to make me yours like you always do.”

My stomach twisted and I felt like I might throw up – that _really_ wouldn’t be good, now. I laid a hand on his back. “I'm so sorry. I feel awful about this…”

His voice trembled with barely restrained despair as he spoke. “Were you lying when I asked if you could still love me?” He looked right at me, the amber glow in his eyes unsettlingly intense.

The question hit me like a punch in the gut. “W-what?”

“Were you lying, when you said you could still love me?”

Even though I was a bit scared now, I scooted closer and curled more of my arm around him. He pulled away from it, and I hated myself for making him feel this way. “Was I—why would I lie about that?”

“For months you've said you love me, every day, often several times, and I did too… until you saw me like this.”

The horror washed over me like a tidal wave as I realized he was right. I hadn't yesterday, or today – not since I first saw him change in a lit room. It was… a disturbing epiphany.

“Look at me, Matt.” Robert held up a hand to look at his palm. His thick claws tapered down to an edge as sharp as knife points, but his sopping wet, dejected face disarmed any feeling of being threatened. “I just want to feel normal for an hour, but I can't even have sex without this happening! Why'd it happen in the middle of the day?!” He angrily smacked the wall with a fist, and his face twisted in pain. “I'm an ugly monster now.”

“You are not an ugly monster,” I insisted.

“Don’t lie to me.”

I slowly, carefully sat in front of him, feeling awkward thanks to still being naked and lubed up. “Robert?”

“What,” he said flatly, still looking away.

“Can I see you?”

His eyes flicked toward mine and away a few times. “What?”

I hesitantly reached for the blanket creating a hood over his head and pulled it down. His scruffy, tear-soaked face held in the clutches of anguish bore deep into me, leaving a gaping, painful wound. I trailed my fingers over his pointy ears and shaggy hair, then down his jaw. He locked eyes with me as I studied his face to really look at what he was now.

His ears weren't dog ears, just acutely pointed, like hairy elf ears or something, and the fangs – as scary as they were – felt a lot less scary, knowing deep in my heart that Robert would never hurt me. I cupped his jaw and thumbed his soft, dense beard. “You're right, Rob. I haven't really been on the whole werewolf bandwagon. It isn't fair to you at all.”

Robert's hard frown softened until he just looked morbidly depressed instead. He let out a sad, exhausted sigh.

“Can I look at you? I mean really look at you.”

Robert didn't meet my gaze as he slowly pulled the blanket further off himself. I noticed a few things as I looked over him. Below the jawline, there was hair _everywhere._ I lightly smoothed a hand over his back, and there wasn't a single spot on him I didn't feel a light coat of soft, short hair. His neck, his shoulders, all over his back, every inch of his arms; not even remotely close to animal fur, but apparently enough to make him self-conscious.

But this sad, not-quite-human man in front of me and under my hands wasn't a monster. I knew deep in me that he'd never be a monster, and even now that he looked different sometimes, he was still my beloved Robert.

His muscular body wasn’t any less of a lovely sight, and I stroked a hand down his chest, where I felt his heart pounding under my fingers. My poor Robert was hurting so bad…

“Rob?” I said in a hush tone.

He looked in my eyes and I stared into his. I realized they were still the same color as always, just luminescent, for… whatever reason.

“You're not a monster. You’re beautiful,” I murmured. I tenderly stroked a hand down his hairy back. “You're a beautiful, handsome man. A beautiful and handsome werewolf.”

Robert's lips curled into a grimace as he resisted crying more.

“You’re still the same guy you always were, just now you have lovely pointy ears, handsome canines…” I paused, not having any idea what I was even saying, or why. “You have all this manly hair everywhere. You're… toner and beefier, now.”

Robert held up a hand to show me his claws; I had nothing. I'll get past them eventually.

“I love you, Rob,” I said, my hands on his biceps. I meant it with all my soul, this time. “I love you, my werewolf boyfriend.”

Robert shut his eyes and sobbed as tears fell down his face. I wrapped around him and he hugged me tight, the hair all over him making him feel cuddly. I could get used to it, I think. I’ve had hairy boyfriends before. Maybe not _quite_ as hairy, but some guys just had fur all over – even on their back – and no one knew why. It didn’t matter to me one way or another.

He shuddered and took a few wretched breaths, whimpering and quietly sobbed. “Please,” he huffed out. “Please don't stop loving me.”

I held back a gasp of pain and hugged him tighter. “I won't ever stop loving you, I promise.”

Robert petted my back as he cried, and I rubbed his to comfort him. He was soaking my shoulder, but that was okay.

“It's gonna be okay. I love you, and I'm here for you.”

When Robert pulled away, he really needed to wash his face off, at least to look less like he'd been sobbing for ten minutes, or however long it'd been. He sat hunched over with his hands in his lap. “I just wanted to feel like a normal man for a while and this totally ruined it…”

“What can I do to help you feel better?” I asked, stroking a hand down the side of his face. I didn't think I could get it up again after talking about so heavy a subject, but I wanted to do _something_ for him.

“Maybe just… fuck, I don't know, Matt.” Every time he looked away from me felt like a twist of a knife. “Maybe I just need to accept that we can't—”

“No, you don't,” I cut in. I held him by the shoulders and waited for him to meet my eyes. “Look. I know we're both still… adjusting to this, but that's not impossible. This isn't a death sentence to our relationship, nor our sex life. I know I've badly hurt you, and I'm sorry. I’ve never wanted to hurt you.”

“I know,” he murmured.

“At least I know it’s coming, in the future.”

Robert shrugged lamely. “Yeah…”

I smiled and patted him. “Besides, if you’re gonna shoot that much cum every time now, you can't honestly tell me that isn't an enormous upside to this.”

Robert snorted and huffed a few chuckles out. “It was pretty great, wasn't it? Felt fucking incredible, too. I’ve never had such a long cumshot in my life.”

Hearing him laugh did a bit to thaw me. “You wanna just have dessert and cuddle?”

“You already had dessert,” he said with a wink and a grin.

“Perv,” I muttered, lightly shoving his shoulder. “I did just have dessert.” He giggled and I stood up to go to the kitchen. “I'll be right back.”

I microwaved the pumpkin cobbler and hoped it wouldn't ruin it or something. In a side dish, I scooped some vanilla ice cream to put on top of it if he wanted. Walking around my house naked felt liberating and free in a way I didn't realize it could be; now that I lived alone, I could do that as much as I wanted.

I brought our bowls back and stopped at the sight of Robert on top my blankets, all evidence of him being a werewolf gone. No extra hair, no fangs, nothing. “Robert? You look—” normal. Er… “—like you usually do.”

“Yeah,” he murmured, his brow furrowed in clear bewilderment. “A few moments after you left, I shifted back.”

I handed him his cobbler and sat down in front of him with my legs crossed. “Well, great… that’s another mystery to add to the pile.”

Robert began picking at his cobbler. My first bite tasted like crunchy pumpkin pie, it was incredible; I _needed_ to make this. Robert ate slower than I did even though I had a belly full of his jizz. I hoped he knew that would not be the last time I sucked him off.

When he finished, I sat as close as possible to pet him and hug him. “You feeling okay?” I asked. I stroked a palm down his pec – still firmer than I was used to – and felt his heart beating under my fingers – slower than I was used to.

“Not really, but I'll live through it.” He looked exhausted all over again.

I gave him a kiss on the forehead, and he hugged me close. “I love you,” I said.

“I love you, too.” Robert buried his face in my neck and breathed me in. “You smell right,” he said, his voice muffled.

“I smell ‘right?’”

“I don't know how else to put it.”

I didn't press for more. We’d talked so much already, it was a little overwhelming. “If you need to talk about this again…”

“I'll let you know.”

“We’re gonna be okay, Rob. Just give it a little bit of time.”

He curled around me and reclined on the bed, and I relaxed into his strong arms. All Robert seemed to want to do was hold me and smell me, and all I wanted to do was spend time healing. The last thing I ever wanted to do was damage our relationship.

We’d be okay, though. I just had to keep an open mind and open heart. I could learn to embrace this.


	4. Chapter 4

Robert’s desire to research rapidly changed into an obsession as desperation for answers he wasn’t getting took hold. Every day that passed without finding anything other than myths was another restless night for him – and me.

So far, all he’d figured out is he changed under the full moon and the day after, and that small wounds healed instantly, though no legends he told me about covered that part.

One myth that we tested together – a rare moment with him, since he seemed more inclined to avoid people right now, especially the neighbors – involved some silver.

“Silver hurts werewolves… right?” he asked.

I stared at him from across his dining room table, my arms crossed and a hand cupping the side of my face in thought. “So I hear.”

Robert – in a very tight muscle shirt that bared his beautifully beefy arms and tone body – dumped a few things on the table from a burlap sack.

“Is that an honest to God burlap bag?”

“Yeah. Everyone needs a burlap sack from time to time.”

“I have never in my life needed one,” I said, holding back a chuckle.

I looked down at what he’d dumped, having glossed over them in my admittedly strange fixation on the bag. On the table sat a hefty candlestick, a men’s curb necklace, a ring, and the silver knife I—

…

“Silver was the one constant in _everything_ I found.”

“Uh huh?”

“It varied between contact harming the werewolf, the sight of it harming them, or injury caused by silver being what did them in. Obviously, not sight,” he said with an exaggerated shrug. “So we’re gonna try out the other two.”

My eyebrows shot up. “‘We’?”

“We.”

My eyes drew down toward the knife and I became uncomfortably aware of my heartbeat. “You don’t mean…”

“What? Haven’t you ever stabbed a man?”

“No! I’ve never stabbed—I—”

I felt a leaden weight in my chest, and I paused, feeling like the air was too thick to breathe.

Robert’s face turned down in worry. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I thought you’d – I don’t know. I just wanted to make you laugh and I…”

“It’s okay,” I murmured.

“It isn’t.”

Grief and guilt welled up in my chest and I had to divert my gaze. “It isn’t…”

My boyfriend slowly rounded the table and laid a hand on my shoulder, gently cupping my jaw with the other and thumbing my cheek. “It’ll be okay. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but it will be.”

I turned to look him in his lovely, earth-colored eyes full of sadness and just wanted to pretend nothing had ever happened in that forest.

“So… what do you want me to do?”

“Well, I have the first aid kit here,” he said, gesturing toward a plastic case sitting on a chair near him. “In case of… you know. We’d have something.”

My heart sped up as I imagined what could happen: third degree burns, wails of pain, or… “I don’t know if I want – if you should be doing something that might hurt you…”

Robert rubbed the bridge of his nose, but he didn’t look impatient, just tired. “Matt, I gotta figure out my limitations somehow. I’m clearly more fit than ever but… supernatural abilities always, _always,_ have a downside.”

“But…”

“I _need_ to know.”

Robert looked me in the eyes, silently pleading for permission. If he was so despairing for some answers that he was willing to risk harming himself, I had to let him do _something._

“Just to be clear,” I began hesitantly. “What _are_ you going to do?”

“I’m just gonna…” Robert resolutely stared down at the silver objects on the table and reached to grab the candlestick, hesitating inches away from it. His hand trembled where it hovered, then he seized the candlestick and—

Nothing happened. No apparent reaction of pain, no sizzling flesh or burning smell or… anything else that I expected to happen were we in a movie.

“Nothing?” Robert glared at the candlestick in hand, then set it down and picked up the knife to run a finger along the flat edge without any hesitation. He put on both the ring and the necklace that dangled in his handsome, fluffy chest hair, and nothing happened. “What the fuck.” He almost slumped over where he stood.

“I’m not sure if you’re relieved or disappointed.”

“Maybe a bit of both.”

If silver didn’t injure him on contact, and he rapidly healed through injuries, then how did I murde—how did I kill—

There really wasn’t any way to think about it without it being a terrible reminder that I’d taken a life. The abject hollowness returned – the guilt that ate away at me from the inside. You couldn’t take something like that back.

Robert let out a loud sigh, missing that I felt terrible again. “I’m not about to cut myself, but now I don’t have _anything._ Back to square one…”

 

* * *

 

Everything else Robert found out either conflicted with itself, what he had figured out, or sounded too outrageous to be true.

The poor guy spent a week and a half living in libraries to the point that I, too, became a bit desperate for answers, at least so he’d stop isolating himself. I wasn’t sure what I could do to help him find anything that didn’t involve also going to libraries, so I did the only thing I could do as a work-from-home dad with a decent internet connection.

Decent connection or not, trawling through sometimes seedy webpages looking for answers to what he was going through proved to be nearly a waste of time. Everything I found was outlandish or conspiratorial to the point of ludicrousness. I couldn’t present any of this to him in good faith.

Perhaps I could lure him back with a special date night idea…

Maybe I could try replicating that delicious pumpkin cobbler for us. Most of the time when I tried recipes I found online, they turned out less like confectionary delights and more like Frankensteinian messes, but if I didn’t try, I’d never get better at baking.

That and a good steak dinner might do the trick.

 

* * *

 

I tried making the cobbler on Thursday. It wasn't a disaster, per se, but it was a bit less sweet than I would have hoped, and a lot less fluffy and crisp. I wasn't sure where I messed up the recipe, maybe just not enough sugar or cornstarch? Both?

Friday seemed like as good a day as ever to have a date. Robert was out all morning, and I had filled my customer service quota for the week, so I had to amuse myself again.

There wasn't any cleaning to do, and TV was a bit boring right now, so I played basketball with the hoop on the door. It made me miss Amanda, but at least it passed time. I could still imagine her laughing if I pretended to dodge her and toss the ball past her outstretched arms.

I got a particularly satisfying three-pointer that ricocheted off the door, though it sounded weird bouncing on the floor. When I walked over and picked up the ball, I heard a knock.

Oh, that’s what that sound was. I opened the door and there stood Robert in a baggy-looking gray shirt and yoga pants. Despite efforts to get him go to yoga, since turning he just hasn’t been interested in it. My own attendance had languished because of it.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hi.”

After I shut the door behind him, he gave me a warm hug and a soft, tender kiss. I wrapped around him and he tilted my head to deepen it until our teeth clicked together and he had to back off. “Ahem… I have something I need to tell you.”

I held him by the shoulders and noticed his brow stitched and lips turned down. “What's wrong?”

“You might want to sit down.”

I plopped down on the couch and he sat at my side. He took a big envelope out of his pocket and unfolded a packet of papers from inside it. “Matt… I don't really know how to say this.”

My pulse picked up and my palms felt sweaty. “Rob, what's going on?”

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, his eyes fixated on the floor. “I don't have cancer.”

Worry turned to confusion and I stared, dumbfounded. “You… don't have cancer. You do not have cancer?”

He looked in my eyes and said, just as intently, “I do not have cancer.”

“Is – is this a bit? Why were you so serious about this? You were scaring me.”

Robert stayed quiet for a moment. “It's not a bit. The reason I say it like that is because… I _did_ have cancer. But I don't anymore. It's gone.”

“You _had_ cancer?”

He diverted his gaze and paused, though his eyes briefly darted back to look at my face. “Do you remember the night we went ghost hunting? How tired I was?”

“It’s hard to forget how haunted you looked.”

Robert let out a long, exhausted sigh. “I wasn't tired… I was heartbroken, because I – a few weeks ago, I went in for that appointment ‘cause of my cough, and had a few tests done, and… the doctors found evidence of stage three lung cancer. I got the results that day, and I…”

I had no idea how I should have felt, but it was a weird mix of relief and anxiety. “But… you don't have cancer.”

Robert refused to look at me. “Not anymore. But it was like… I don't know, like I needed to do something special with you to make the most of the time I had left. But all my symptoms disappeared, so I went to a different oncologist, and now…” He handed me the papers. “Well, you know.”

I pored over every word and strange photo of inside his body. Indeed, the results were conclusively, undeniably negative. This entire situation left me incredulous. “Do you think the first set of results were wrong?”

After a moment, Robert shook his head. “No.”

“Do you think these are?”

Robert finally met my eyes again, looking tired all over again. “No.”

“But…” I held my head in my hands, overwhelmed by all this information.

For several, long moments, Robert remained silent. I couldn’t believe that his lungs had been slowly killing him, that I would have had precious little time left with him in a romance we’d only just started.

“Like I said, my symptoms are gone. All of them. My best guess is when I… changed, the same thing that healed all my scars and turned most of my fat or whatever into muscle also destroyed the cancer, which is why I got a second opinion. So…”

“So… what now?”

Robert tilted his head back and forth in thought. “Can we go to the mall? I need to buy new clothing. Nothing fits anymore.”

I gaped in disbelief. “You just told me you had stage three lung cancer, and now you wanna go to the _mall_ like nothing happened?” Robert cringed and leaned away from me. “When were you gonna tell me?”

“I'm sorry… I was still processing it myself and then the werewolf bit me, and I've kind of been dealing with that instead.”

I felt sick from the strange mix of emotions and had to lean to the side to try to calm my stomach. “Rob, I – I don’t know what to feel right now.”

Robert laid a hand on my back and gently stroked up and down. The loving touch added warm affection to the bizarre smorgasbord of feelings. “I wanted to tell you, but… could you tell your boyfriend of barely three months – the man you planned to spend your life with – that you had less than a year to live at the drop of a hat?”

I locked eyes with him, my jaw open in astonishment. “You want to spend your life with me?”

“Matt…” He waved the fingers of his left hand, where the gleaming ring was. “I promised my _heart_ to you. I didn't do that lightly.”

“Okay, good point. I'm just not really… thinking clearly right now.”

“I know I dropped this bombshell on you, but… can we just go do something totally normal together, like shop for clothes?” Robert pleaded with sad-looking eyes. “Everything's been so chaotic lately.”

Shopping for clothes was a bit like planning his future, I guess, which he didn't have earlier today. That, and if he were planning it with me…

“I just… desperately need to feel normal for a change.”

“Okay,” I said. Robert let out a sigh of relief, and took my hands in his, gently stroking. Even in baggy clothes and looking so tired, he was so handsome. “I love you, Rob,” I quietly said, feeling an aching sadness and warm joy all at once. My vision clouded and I wiped away the precursor of a few tears. “I can't even begin to tell you how glad I am you don't have cancer.”

“I love you, too, Matt. It's kind of weird, it's like I've been given a new lease on life, but I just want to take my time with it.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that.”

I just wanted to sit with him in silence for a few minutes, holding him and looking in his eyes. He didn’t have cancer; he would live a long, cancer-free life. My beloved Robert was hale and hearty now, even if the circumstances behind it were unnatural. Supernatural, I supposed.

I let out a long, weary breath and patted his back. “Tell me what's up with your clothes.”

“None of them fit anymore. I tried everything and these,” Robert said, gesturing at his baggy clothes, “are basically the only clothes that don't feel too tight.”

“I’m guessing this is new.”

“Ever since I turned. I thought maybe it was just the few shirts and jeans I tried since then, but I just went through my entire wardrobe and nothing fits anymore.”

He wasn't _that_ much beefier now, was he? He at least felt a lot toner.

“Well we can shop as much as you need.”

“I’m warning you that we'll probably take a while.”

“It’s not like we don’t have the time.”

 

* * *

 

He sure warned me, and I sure didn’t listen.

Buying an entirely new wardrobe was a daunting task. As the afternoon stretched on, I grew increasingly convinced that doing it in one day was outside the realm of possible. Indeed, Robert wanted to spend as much time as he could trying on things in department stores like _ABNickle_ and _Bardstrum_ , but we spent some time in _East Maine Trading Company_ and _Dead, Goth, and Beyond_ buying some more interesting things. We were on hour three of clothing shopping, half an hour into shopping in _DG &B_.

“Remember that leopard print shirt?” he asked while looking at a garish Avril Lavigne shirt. His signature leather jacket still fit him, at least, and while he held up the shirt it stretched from his muscles in a way it didn’t before. The new jeans fit nicely, too.

“Yeah?”

“Doesn’t fit anymore.”

“Damn.” After a few moments of silence, I murmured, “Does that mean I can have it?”

Robert chuckled and put the shirt back on the rack. “Yeah, go for it. Hey! The ‘fuck off’ shirt.” He spread one out over his chest to judge its size. “This looks good.”

“You sure you don’t want the Avril Lavigne shirt?”

Robert turned to stare judgmentally at it. “Good music, but too young for me, and ugly shirt. Pass.”

While looking idly at belt buckles, Robert shoved a spiked necklace in my field of view, startling me. “Jesus, Rob!”

“What, don’t like _collars?”_ he asked with a quirk of his eyebrow.

“Not really,” I stammered with a furiously hot blush.

“That’s fine. Recent developments have changed its implications dramatically. Well, I’m ready to pay, and I'm _so_ hungry. Are you hungry?” he asked.

My stomach had been gurgling every so often for an hour or so. I glanced at my phone; it was almost five thirty.

“Trick question, I can hear that you're hungry.”

I turned and stared. “What?”

Robert tapped the side of his head with two fingers. “Better hearing.”

I looked down toward my stomach, and back up at him, my mouth still wide open. “No way. In this noisy mall?”

“In this almost painfully noisy mall, yes.”

After he paid for another few shirts, we started toward the food court. I was still wondering what to get even as we walked through the wide archway adorned with ’food court’ in neon blue and green lettering. Maybe greasy pizza, or a greasy burger. “What are you thinking of get—”

Robert held out an arm to stop me in my tracks. “Hold on.” He looked around frantically, like he'd heard a nearby predator. “There's another werewolf here.”

“What?” I looked around, too, though I didn't see anything out of the ordinary. “How can you tell?”

“I can smell him.”

All I smelled was a variety of foods being prepared, but I’m not sure what I expected. Robert walked – maybe more like stalked – around the food court in search. It was a little funny, watching a grown man with two _ABNickle_ and _Dead, Goth, and Beyond_ bags wander around the mall as if he were hunting prey. Until I realized it wasn't funny and someone might report him for suspicious behavior.

“Robert, could you maybe—”

“I found him!” he interjected, though in a stage whisper. Robert pointed at an old man in a camouflage coat sitting by the _Cinnabon_ with a tattered book in hand.

“How can you be sure?”

“I'm not.”

Robert walked up as casually as he could and sat down across from him on a rickety metal chair. I followed close behind, going for the observer strategy.

“Hey,” Robert started.

“Fuck off,” the old man growled, his voice sounding like his trachea had been crushed by boulders at some point in his life.

“You're a werewolf,” Robert said plainly.

“I said fuck off,” the old man said. He glanced up from his book at Robert with a piercing gaze, his eyes cold and hateful.

“But I have questions I need answered!” Robert slapped the table with his palms. “I was bit two weeks ago, and I need help.”

I approached and laid a hand on Robert's back. “Honey, maybe we should just go.”

“Please,” Robert said quietly. I couldn’t see his expression, but I was sure he looked desperate. “I'm scared.”

He stared at Robert studiously. _Damn,_ this guy looked old. Had to be older than seventy, though his wild hair was jet black, as was his stubble on his pockmarked face. The camouflage coat looked military surplus and a size too big for him.

“I'll buy you something from the food court for your time?”

“Fine,” the man muttered. “Get me a double bacon cheeseburger,” he said, pointing toward the burger chain along the edge of the food court.

Robert’s chair screeched on the tile as he sprung to his feet in his haste to go order, and the old man winced from the noise. I sat down at his table with some hesitance. He hunched over with his arms crossed, and turned his hard green eyes toward me, one slightly closed. It made him constantly look inquisitive.

“And who are you?” he said gruffly.

“I'm, uh, his boyfriend.”

He nodded sagely and said nothing else until Robert came back with two bags of food. “This one is for you,” he said, setting one in front of the old man. Robert sat at my side and handed the other bag to me. I watched the man – I started referring to him as ‘Jerry’ in my head just to put a name to a face – unceremoniously tear open his bag.

“This is a double bacon cheeseburger, alright. So, what do you want to know?”

“Well… everything?”

‘Jerry’ took a plastic knife to his burger. He fought with it a bit to make headway on cutting it in half. If he were a werewolf, why wouldn’t he just eat it with his hands? “That's not very specific.”

“I guess start with…” Robert stroked his scruffy jaw, ignoring his burger. “The thing that bit me, in the woods, was a giant wolf. Will I turn into that?”

‘Jerry’ struggled to cut through the bacon and growled as he wrestled with it. After a moment he slammed his knife on the table and tore it in half with his hands to rip a chunk off with his teeth. If he wasn't a werewolf, he sure ate – and growled – like one, although Robert still retained all his manners – was I being racist or something…? Maybe ‘Jerry’ was just horrendously uncouth.

“That was a feral werewolf,” he said, not bothering to cover his mouth. “That happens if you can't cling to your humanity.”

I opened my burger box; Robert had also gotten me a double bacon cheeseburger. My stomach growled again and even though ‘Jerry’s messy eating was a bit unsightly, I had to eat something, or I felt like I might faint.

Robert looked and sounded worried out of his mind. “Is ‘clinging to humanity’ hard?”

“No. It's a bit of a challenge when you first turn, so you might need help.” ‘Jerry’ pointed at me with a grimy finger; did he just not care about hygiene at all? “Popular methods of grounding yourself in humanity include romantic partners, family, revenge, hobbies. Things like that.”

“Revenge?” I asked in surprise.

“I didn't say revenge.” He stared at me before taking another bite of burger. “Eventually you won't have to ground yourself, but the sad sap that bit you had _nothing.”_ ‘Jerry’ took another bite before he was even done with the first. “You put him out of his misery?”

“Uh… I can neither confirm nor deny this,” I said. “So, wait… ‘put him out of his misery?’ It would have been… a good thing, if I had?”

“Feral werewolves have no hope of regaining rational thought. You did everyone a favor if you cut him down.”

All the guilt lifted off me, and for the first time in days I felt like I could breathe easy again. Still, I glanced at Robert; this was easily one of the strangest interactions I'd ever had. The fact that we apparently found another werewolf was astonishing enough, but this was… about what I expected, somehow.

“Well that answers my question,” he said.

“Am I that obvious?” I asked, a bit of a hot flush spreading in my cheeks.

“Yep.”

“What's your name?” Robert asked.

“Lawrence. First name is all you get.”

So long, Jerry. I hardly knew you. I noticed some medals sticking out of his breast pocket. Military, I think. Maybe the coat wasn't just for show.

“How can I tell when I'll change? It wasn't just the full moon.”

Lawrence patted his face clean with a napkin, finally. “Two days before, and two days after the full moon, when the gibbous is most intense, assuming no cloud cover. Beware, though: not even the blackest of thunderclouds can block the power of the full moon.”

I turned to look at Robert in surprise. _“Two_ days after? I thought you said…”

Robert grimaced. “I – I didn’t tell you, I just… didn’t want to acknowledge it, and then it didn’t happen after that, so…”

I let out a long sigh and rubbed my face. “Robert… please don’t hide things, I’m trying to help.”

“I’m sorry,” he murmured.

I looked him in the eyes and saw his sincerity in the soft edges of his expression and the worried frown. “Okay. It’s okay.”

Robert turned back toward Lawrence. “How do you deal with changing?”

Lawrence stared Robert right in the eyes. He looked a little crazy, and I vaguely regretted following Robert to talk to him. “I _don't_ change. To start, ground yourself. Other than that, you learn to control it over the decades.”

“Decades? How old are you?” I asked.

“First of all, rude. Second, I'm a hundred and twenty-two years old,” he said. “Fought in both world wars _and_ Vietnam.”

“But… you don't look a day over…” _Lowball it, Matt._ “…Fifty.”

Lawrence raised an eyebrow. “Thanks.”

“Do you know any others?” Robert asked.

“You wanna meet ‘em?” Lawrence asked. It was by far the friendliest tone he’d used in our brief encounter.

“Really?” Robert asked, looking more excited than I'd seen in a while.

Lawrence took an old, nicked and battered flip phone out of a deep pocket and typed something on it, taking nearly a full minute to do so. “Go to the _Fantastical Fiction_ bookstore tomorrow at five PM. Ask for Ellen, Jackson, and Tohru. Don't be late.”

“Okay.”

I typed it out in my phone just in case.

To: Robert  
_Fantastical Fiction bookstore at 5 PM, ask for Ellen, Jackson, and Toru._

“Have I answered enough questions for now?” Lawrence asked.

“Uh… well, you put a lot of my concerns at ease.”

“I'll take that as a yes. Now leave me to read my book in peace.”

Robert glanced at my unfinished burger and shrugged. I boxed up our food and we walked across the food court to sit at another table.

“Why is he reading in a mall food court?” Robert asked.

“I have no idea. I hope he wasn't pulling our legs.”

“I should have asked for proof. Fuck…” Robert put his head in his hands. “I have no idea if he was telling the truth…”

“Did he say anything that conflicted…?”

Robert looked toward Lawrence instead of starting his meal. “No.”

“Maybe he was legit. I don’t know… let's just eat and go home.”

 

* * *

 

Robert brought me along to _Fantastical Fiction_ on Friday as we were told. It didn't look particularly fantastical; it looked homely, kind of. The sign’s block lettering looked faded, as did the heavy front door. Many books were on stands in the dirty window, classics like _Fahrenheit 451_ or _The Great Gatsby_ along with others from names like Vonnegut, Powell, and Roth.

When we stepped in the cramped, musty bookstore, a bell dinged and a young blonde woman at the front counter waved. “Good evening, can I help you find anything?”

“Yeah, we're here for Ellen, Jackson, and Tohru,” Robert said.

Her eyebrows shot up. “Ahh, they're expecting you in back. I'll show you.”

Between shelves of large print novels stood a narrow, solid-looking door that said _Employees Only_ on it in peeling red paint. She opened it for us and gestured inside. Robert squeezed past, and I followed.

Down a short hallway and through a heavier door was a dimly lit break room of sorts that smelled distinctly of vanilla, with aged red couches and armchairs, a rusty refrigerator in a kitchenette, and a flimsy particleboard table. Four people sat around the room, apparently waiting for us. Lawrence was there sulking in an armchair – thank God – but there was also a black woman in her fifties if I had to guess, an East Asian man in his forties, and another white man, maybe in his thirties.

Although, if Lawrence was really one hundred and twenty-two years old, those estimates are probably irrelevant.

“Hi,” said the black woman. “I'm Ellen.” She stood and shook our hands with a firm grip. She had an interesting necklace made of big, blue metal plates. “Lawrence didn't tell us your names.”

Robert's eyes widened and his face turned red. “Oh. We never really introduced ourselves…”

“I'm Matt, this is Robert.”

Ellen glanced between us. “You're the werewolf, right?” She pointed at Robert with both hands, and he nodded. “Lawrence wasn't very specific and you both smell alike, please pardon the questions. And smelling you. I’m trying not to.”

“We smell alike?” I asked, surprised and a bit embarrassed.

“There are cheese and raspberry danishes on the table. Please, take one and have a seat,” Ellen said, not answering my question.

I could hardly say no to such hospitality. They were big danishes, too, each on their own ceramic red plate for the taking. Robert and I sat on the free couch, which sagged a bit under our weight. Something metal dug into my butt, and I had to sit further forward than I would have liked. Robert took my left hand in his right, and I had to eat the danish one-handed, not that I minded.

“So, um… I honestly don't know how to start, we haven't met a new werewolf in a few decades,” Ellen began. “Is that how long it's been?”

Tohru and Jackson murmured their agreements and nodded.

“Nineteen years, I believe,” the East Asian man said. I didn't want to assume, but I was pretty sure he was Tohru.

“So, why don't we just introduce ourselves? I'm Ellen, as I told you already. Born and raised in Georgia. I turned when I was seventeen, I think. Um… I'm not sure what else to tell you.” She glanced at everyone else in turn.

“I'm Tohru,” the East Asian man said. “I was born in California, but my parents came from Japan. I turned when I was twenty-six. I was out camping with some friends when a feral werewolf attacked us.”

“Are you sure you wanna tell this?” Jackson asked.

“It's fine,” Tohru said, looking at Jackson before back at us. “It killed two of my friends and bit me and Yuki before she beat it to death. Um… she died from a secondary infection a week later, I turned and beat whatever she got.”

What a morbid way to turn. At least Robert's turning didn't have any casualties.

“I'm Jackson,” the blond man said. “I turned when I was ten. I was outside playing later than I should have been – _much_ later – and a werewolf attacked me. He wasn't feral, but I guess he wanted to form a pack, not knowing that isn't a thing. My father shot it, it ran away, and my family didn't know what to do after I turned. They planned to have a priest exorcise me, so I ran away from home.”

“You already know who I am,” Lawrence said. “Back in World War One, some squarehead couldn't control himself under the full moon and decided to do some snacking or something. I shot him in the head after he took a chunk out of my arm and took out a squad of ‘em after I turned. Got a medal for bravery I guess, fuck if I remember why I got it.”

A squad wasn't a small number of people…

“Uh, I'm Robert. Matt and I were out camping, hunting ghosts when a feral werewolf attacked us. Matt tried to push me out of the way, but it got me anyway. He stabbed it to death, but… well, here I am.”

Tohru nodded. Jackson didn’t visibly react.

“You were hunting ghosts?” Ellen asked with an eyebrow raised. “Out in the woods?”

“Yeah.”

“Damn. You couldn't pay me to do that, I get spooked way too easily.”

A werewolf that spooked easily? Now I’ve seen everything.

“How did you turn?” I asked.

Ellen sighed and looked down at her clasped hands. “I think I was fifteen, not seventeen, the years kind of blur together sometimes. I was attacked by a werewolf while working late on the plantation.”

Plantation?

“It got a few of us before one of my sisters beat it to death with a shovel. When I turned, I couldn't control myself and I killed our owner a few hours later when he tried to beat her for ruining the shovel.”

“Owner?” I asked.

“I was a slave, Matt.”

My blood ran cold. “Oh.” If she was a slave, then… that meant she was something like two hundred years old, and she didn't look older than sixty.

“This is all kind of overwhelming,” Robert said. “How do I know you're telling the truth?”

Ellen held out a hand and extended sharp claws painted hot pink. Tohru pulled his mouth open from the side to show off fangs that weren’t there before. Jackson and Lawrence didn't do anything, though.

“You can do that whenever you want?” he asked in amazement.

“Oh, hon, you _are_ new,” Ellen said.

 

* * *

 

The entire shebang lasted almost two hours. It was both fascinating and a little terrifying listening to five werewolves – one of whom being my boyfriend – talk about the kinds of urges Robert would deal with as the moon’s influence waxed and waned as it did. All sorts of wild impulses like hunting for food or for a mate would hit him in the coming days. I came out of the meeting a little scared.

I also came out of it with some homework. At one point when I needed to use the bathroom, Ellen followed me to it and spoke to me at length after I came out.

_“Matt,” she said._

_“Ellen,” I replied, as cordially as I could._

_“You look troubled.”_

_I carded my fingers through my hair and belatedly recalled how it's one of the tells for being stressed. I just gave myself away. “A bit.”_

_“I understand. Is there something I can do to help?” She smiled at me – a wide, welcoming smile that lit up her strikingly blue eyes and did a lot to comfort me._

_“I'm just… not sure what to do to be there for him.”_

_“Well, you're his partner, right? You can help ground him during a full moon.”_

_“How do I do that?”_

_“Well, through contact. Some people cuddle, some make love, others find that talking is sometimes enough, to start.”_

_“Make love? When he's…?”_

_Ellen nodded. “I get the impression he's ashamed of being a werewolf. Is that the case?”_

_I wished there were a little more space in the hallway. I stood with my arms crossed against a wall covered in working environment guideline posters. “We… had an issue in bed, the week that he turned. He changed without either of us noticing and it scared me half to death.”_

_Ellen nodded again, though with a frown this time. “I see. I imagine that hurt both of you.” She let out a breath through her nose as she thought. “Do you remember earlier when Tohru said that bouts of intense emotions can trigger the change?”_

_“Yeah. Anger, sadness,—”_

_“Passion,” Ellen cut in._

_Realization dawned on me and my jaw dropped. “You mean he changed because he…”_

_Ellen's lips curled up in a knowing smile. “I hope you aren't too uncomfortable, talking about this with a near stranger. It's nothing I haven't heard before. But yes, the raw passion and intense feelings from your moment of intimacy probably triggered it.”_

_Robert loved me so much it made him change?_

_She looked over her shoulder down the hallway leading to the break room. The door was still closed. Regardless, she stepped closer and whispered. “I have a suggestion, if you're open to it.”_

_I shrugged; it probably couldn't make things worse, at this point._

_“I'm willing to bet that doing something together when he's changed would make him feel a lot more comfortable in his own skin and make your relationship flourish.”_

_I stared in shock. “You mean…” I held up my hands and clawed the air. “When he's…”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Huh.”_

_“Give it a shot,” she said, speaking at her usual volume again. “Not during his first full moon, that would probably be too intense. That and, no biting when it's a full moon.” She winked and my face burned. “Let's head back, they're probably waiting.”_

So, my new goal was to get him to change from… bedroom passion and tenderness. Perhaps for both of us.

“What'd you think?” I asked, after we sat down in Robert's pickup.

Robert stared at the dashboard in silence. I laid a hand on his back, and he looked in my eyes. Though he didn't say anything, he sat up a bit straighter than he had in a while, and even looked more confident.

“You're gonna be okay,” I murmured. I stroked his back and he smiled. “You have people to help, now.”

“Yeah.”


	5. Chapter 5

Now that Robert had people he could text questions to, he didn't spend any more time sequestered away in libraries reading up on folklore or mythology – or away from me. It was very win-win.

However, that meant we had to deal with the elephant in the room, again: our sex life came to a screeching halt. It wasn't like I wasn't trying or anything, I just… was working up the courage.

I figured it'd be easiest to schedule it like we had our first time together, and let excitement build over the day and hopefully overpower anxiety. I also figured asking him to take me would be simplest. The logistics of having sex with a werewolf was a little… interesting, mostly what to do about claws. Maybe I wouldn't have to worry at all.

Another thing to think about was his birthday. The twenty-seventh was only five days away. I should do something for that. He wouldn't be forced to change on Halloween, so a party wouldn’t be out of the question…

Sunday morning at Robert's house, I brought up date night over breakfast.

“Hey hon,” I started.

He looked up from his steak and eggs – he ate a lot more meat, now. “Yeah?”

“Since we didn’t really get to have a date night on Friday… you wanna do something tonight?”

“We normally go on a date on Sundays anyway.”

“Yeah, but I just wanted to know if you’re up for it,” I said.

Robert took a long sip of orange juice and swallowed it down with a sight grimace. “Sure,” he said.

“Got anything in mind?”

He took a bite of steak and chewed thoughtfully. I looked down at his bare chest and biceps, and thought about riding him with my hands buried in his chest hair. I tried to imagine some wolfish details that I’d need to get used to – like denser body hair.

His lips curled up while chewing his steak. “How about… a picnic in a park?”

“A picnic?”

“Yeah.”

Robert's smile was so adorable that it made trying to think of him as sexy with fangs a little difficult when I just wanted to hug him. I grinned back and gently grabbed his free hand. “That sounds fun. I was thinking, maybe afterward…”

“Yeah?”

“I want you to take me under the stars.”

Robert's eyebrows shot up. “Take you under the stars?” he asked.

“You know. Take me, but under the stars. Fuck me under the stars, Rob,” I said, a bit more bluntly than I meant to.

“No, I know what you meant, but… outside?” he asked, his eyebrows up in question.

“Not _literally_ outside _._ More like… somewhere we can at least _see_ the stars.”

Robert nodded, took a bite of eggs, and nodded a bit more vigorously. “That sounds romantic. Making love under the stars…” He smiled wistfully as he ate.

I kissed the back of his hand and locked eyes with him. He set his fork down, clasped his hands around mine, and stroked the back with a wide smile.

“Haven’t been on a picnic in years, I don’t even know where to start with setting that up,” he said.

“It’s probably online.”

“Anything I put on the internet will be used against me, you know that,” he said with a serious glare.

I let out a sigh. “Yeah, you’re right, how could I forget how dire an advantage a sapient computer would gain from knowing we went on a picnic on October twenty-second.”

Robert stared for a second before his poker face broke and he cackled madly instead. I grinned as he clapped once, a huge, smitten smile on his face. “Alright, I’m gonna start on that soon. I want as much of it to be a surprise as possible, so give me some space today. Can I borrow your picnic basket?”

“Sure.”

After breakfast, I dressed while Robert interfered by lavishing my upper body with kisses as I pulled articles of clothing on. I think he just wanted to smell me, but I liked the attention either way. At the front door I gave him a hug goodbye.

“I’ll see you later,” I said.

Robert patted my back and said, “I love you,” into my shoulder.

Right before I shut the door behind me, I licked his neck. He yelped in surprise and called me a jerk as I ran down the cul de sac toward my driveway, laughing madly the entire run.

 

* * *

 

The afternoon went by so slowly it was agony. Both the upside and downside of planning sex was the anticipation, though the picnic was also something to look forward to. It gave me a lot of opportunities to mentally prepare for having sex with a somewhat scary werewolf.

He wasn’t _that_ scary. It honestly was mostly the claws.

When someone knocked and rang the doorbell at four thirty, I resisted running to the door to answer. As expected, Robert stood with a picnic basket in hand on my meager porch. “Hey!”

“Hey,” he said. He had a red sweater on under his leather jacket, and a dark brown scarf around his neck. It was an interesting mishmash of styles. “Dress warm, it's chilly out here.”

“Still wanna do the park?” I asked as he scraped his shoes on the doormat.

“And miss all those beautiful leaves falling everywhere? Not a chance.”

I dressed up in my warmest sweater and my favorite scarf. My knee hurt from the cold, but I'd put up with it.

We climbed into Robert's truck and he drove to the big park in the center of town. The scenery was a sight to behold, the trees and ground covered in multicolored leaves as more slowly fell to the grass. Autumn always felt a little bit magical, when I thought about it.

We held hands and walked around for a bit, passing bushes turning interesting shades of orange and children on a playground, some bundled up in coats so tight they couldn't move their arms. Robert sometimes bumped into my shoulder, and every time I looked at him, he had a wide smile.

Robert picked out a picnic table by the big pond. As he unpacked a few plastic containers and thermoses, I watched leaves land in the water and send ripples outward as they drifted on the surface.

“This one is a New Orleans Muffuletta,” Robert said, tapping one of the plastic boxes. “And this one is thick cut salami, mozzarella, and roasted red pepper. The thermoses have chunky tomato and basil soup.”

“Wow, did you make all this yourself?” The Muffuletta sandwich looked delectable when I opened the box.

Robert sat across from me and briskly rubbed his hands together. “Spent all afternoon making the sandwiches. The soup is from a store.”

I tore into the sandwich with a hungry bite and looked at my boyfriend. The scarf and sweater made him look softer and cuddlier than he did half a year ago. Not too long ago, he put on a mysterious and aloof display, doing everything he could to keep people at arm's length. Now it was a privilege to be such a close friend and lover, every moment spent together a gift.

I drank some warm soup from my thermos and looked around thoughtfully while I ate my sandwiches. The park was so tranquil this time of day, orange and yellow leaves falling and dampening the ambient city noise, the crisp autumn air chilling my lungs as the soup warmed everything else. I reached across the table and linked a hand with Robert's, and he grinned as he chewed. Even his smiles looked more genuine these days. I still didn't think he was done healing, but he had gotten so far.

“You have this look on your face,” he said. “The one you make when you're thinking of something that makes you happy.”

“I'm thinking of you,” I said.

Robert blushed and rubbed his thumb along my knuckles. “What specifically?”

“How beautiful your smile is lately. It's easy to tell how much happier you are.”

Robert's eyes fell a bit. “Maybe not all the time.”

I finished off the Muffuletta and paused before starting the salami sandwich. “Talk to me,” I said gently.

Robert stared at our joined hands and turned his other hand over, looking where his scars and tattoo used to decorate his skin. “I'm struggling to come to terms with… what I am, now.”

“You're still Robert Small,” I said.

Robert shook his head. “I know that, but I…” He averted his gaze and hung his head. “I get urges – animalistic urges, in the back of my mind. Maybe not urges, more like… instincts, I guess. Occasional reminders that I'm not human anymore.”

My heart hurt as I watched him go from content to despairing. Maybe tonight I could ease some of his pain and give him back the feeling of being appreciated. Maybe I could bridge the gap that had formed between us.

“I nicked my thumb whittling the other day. You'd never know because it healed in a few moments.” He held his left hand over the table for me to inspect. “You see anything? I don't.”

“Well, that _does_ sound useful.”

“I guess I can make the excuse of laser scar removal if I want to take my shirt off at the beach, or something.”

I hadn't even thought of something like that. When you got to be our age, things like what our bodies looked like when out and about stopped mattering to us so much. For better or worse.

“Do I tell Mary? Do I tell _Val?”_ Robert buried his face in his free hand and held on tighter. “I just – I don't know.”

“You don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to.” Robert met my eyes and seeing how sad he was ached in my soul. “You're healthy and cancer-free, you have a lot of time to decide.”

“Yeah… two weeks ago I thought I had six months to live. I've just had so many changes at a breakneck pace I can hardly keep up with them.”

“Don't forget that I love you dearly, with all of my heart. I'm here for you, okay?”

Robert sighed and looked away. There's that rift between us; I wasn't sure he believed me anymore. Tonight, I'd give him my heart all over again. I think I could give my heart to a wolf-man, anyway. I _wanted_ to give my heart to a wolf-man.

After we finished our sandwiches and soup, Robert stuffed the picnic basket in his truck, and we went for a walk hand in hand around the perimeter of the park. Some clouds were rolling in, bathing the park in an early dusk; maybe making love under the stars wasn’t in the cards tonight.

I tried to keep our walk slow and relaxed; Robert not so much. He seemed tense, and after our earlier conversation it wasn't hard to guess why. I let go of his hand and curled an arm around his back to usher him around, sneaking my fingers under the scarf to touch his neck.

I waited a few minutes before I said anything else. He seemed to relax a bit, or at least opened up, as he wrapped an arm around my side and held on my oblique.

“What’s on your mind?” I asked.

He locked eyes with me, and I noticed a slight reflection in them, like looking in an animal’s eyes. After a moment, he diverted them away again in silence.

Time to bring out the big gun.

“You know what I'm thinking of?” I said.

“What?”

I glanced around; there weren't any kids nearby, at least. A few people sitting by the pond. I leaned in to whisper, “Thinking of you burying yourself in me.”

Robert didn't say anything. I hoped he hadn't ruined his own mood, and I’d hate if he were having second thoughts.

“Thinking of your big, perfect cock sliding in me until your nuts hug my ass.”

I stroked his shoulder and Robert held me a bit closer. “Out in public? How scandalous.”

I kissed his cheek and roamed over his face with my lips. Maybe that’d get the point across. “I want you in me.”

Robert turned to face me with a sheepish smile. “I know what you're doing,” he said as he laughed and adjusted his pants. “It's working, which is the worst part.”

“I want you to make me yours, Rob. I want you to fill me and breed me deep.”

Robert turned us around to walk to his truck, swiftly and purposefully. “You’re a jerk,” he said, but I heard the smile in his voice. “Can’t believe you, sometimes.”

Victory was mine. When he sat in the driver's seat, I looked at his lap and saw his cock plainly tenting his pants. I absolutely could not wait to get that in me.

 

* * *

 

The moment Robert shut the front door behind us, he grabbed me by the biceps and almost slammed his mouth into mine. He kissed me hungrily, mouthing at me, the raw passion of it making me feel faint, and I let him guide me to the stairs, his big hands grasping my back as I worked my fingers into the butt of his jeans to cup his ass.

Once in his room, we feverishly stripped each other and I palmed his hard, hairy body anywhere I could, his beefy muscle and warm skin feeling like fire under me. Robert hugged my lower body tight against his bare skin as he licked my tongue. I had to wriggle my fingers between us to undo his pants, and when they fell to the floor his hard cock sprang free to press against mine while his tongue on my neck and his soft beard tickling me tested my resolve. When all I wanted was for him to fuck me into the floor, it was agonizingly difficult to keep my goal in mind.

I glanced down by chance and noticed he’d moved his bed next to the glass doors for maximum exposure to the night sky.

“Matt,” Robert whispered, seizing my attention again. He grabbed me and snuck his fingers in my butt crack, tickling a bit as he gently walked me toward his bed.

I leaned him back for a dip kiss and cradled his weight in an arm as I kissed his cheek. “Rob,” I huffed out, pulling away to look in his eyes and brush hair from his face with as sultry a look I could give. His gorgeous brown eyes locked with mine and he bit his lip. I wouldn't be able to hold him like this much longer without throwing something out in my back, but he dove in and almost tackled me to his bed. I yelped in surprise, but Robert held me tight and lowered me to it until the mattress took my weight.

Robert looked like a hungry animal leaning over me, taking in how I looked as he grasped at the nightstand for the tube of lube he'd already set there. His rock-hard cock stood proudly, ready to take me, and I watched it jump with his quick pulse.

I'd done a bit of readying myself earlier. I thought about saying something, since I wanted him to just slick himself up and plunge right in me, but he knelt and braced my legs over his shoulders instead. He kissed and licked my balls as he opened the lube. I lifted my cock up for him, and his lips met the head right as his wet fingers snuck inside me.

Robert sucked me deep as he fingered me open. I watched him slowly bob his head on my cock, his warm and wet mouth slicking me up in seconds. He massaged my G spot at the same time, and I shuddered, every inch of my dick in his mouth sending jolts of overwhelming pleasure through my body. His thumb pressed on my taint, and his fingers stroked my prostate.

“Oh God,” I moaned. Robert sucked my shaft deep enough to kiss my lap and breathe me in. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the sight of my cock disappearing in his mouth every few seconds. I wanted to last, but I desperately wanted to feed him.

Robert fingered and sucked me off at a snail's pace, but it didn’t matter; in just a few minutes of him blowing and fingering me, I throbbed hard and emptied my load down his throat. My manhood pulsed between his perfect lips through my long cumshot and I had to resist convulsing from how incredible it felt, both his fingers on my G spot and his tongue massaging my shaft as he sucked my cum down his throat.

As my cumshot tapered off and Robert swallowed my load, I relaxed and lay nearly limp on his bed. He slowly pulled off my cock, letting off the tip with a noisy kiss, and it slapped my belly when it fell. He smiled deviously and looked in my eyes. “You ready?”

“I was born ready for you,” I murmured, a bit sleepily, now that I was loose and ready for him.

Robert sat up and lined up his hard dick with mine. He lubed both of us and stroked our cocks for a few moments in one hand. I watched with bated breath as he lifted my legs out of the way and propped up my butt so he could carefully push into me.

Between me lubing myself earlier and him doing it now, Robert’s cock slid in without any resistance and he bottomed out in a couple of seconds. “Hoo, fuck,” he heaved out.

I grabbed his shoulders and brought him in for a tight hug and needy kiss, sucking on his lower lip as he curled his beefy arms around my back.

 _God, yes_ , I thought as his big cock filled my body with every thrust, as he held me against his hairy chest. I rolled my hips to give him more of my ass, all while I hungrily kissed him. Now that I knew he could change while making love to me, it was all I wanted; I wanted him to let the animal out, to turn and let me love all of him in the most basic and primal way possible.

Robert’s balls rhythmically slapped my ass as the audible slick of his cock thrusting inside me hit its apex. He moaned as I kissed him and stroked his back.

“Take me, Rob,” I whispered, looking in his eyes. They started to glow a bit, and I felt hair growing in on his back under my fingers. “Take me as deep as you can.”

He pushed in me a bit more forcefully and growled with every push. I wrapped my legs around him and left a love-bite on his neck, licking his sweaty skin. His fingernails on my back poked into me and I turned his head to kiss him as deep as I could until I felt fangs against my lips. It was a bit terrifying, having a werewolf changing while _buried inside me,_ but I powered through the fear for him.

Robert pulled away and I got a good look at his fully transformed face. He stroked my hair and his eyes widened at the sight of his claws. “I—”

“Don't stop,” I begged. “Don't stop, Rob.”

He did stop – balls deep – and stared at me, his breath coming out in panicked waves as he released me from his hug.

I carded my fingers through his soft back hair and tried to push him deeper in me with my feet on his butt. “Make love to me,” I said. “Please.”

Maybe it was the almost desperate passion, but his pointed ears, fangs, and scruffy werewolf beard looked a little handsome now. Maybe all I needed was to remember that he was still a beautiful soul and my beloved boyfriend, werewolf or not. But deep in my heart it occurred to me, I could not only accept a werewolf, I could love a werewolf. I could give myself to him like I used to, deeply and completely.

I hugged him close and buried my face in his hairy neck to kiss up from where it met his shoulder to his ear. “Take me, Rob, fill me up,” I whispered. “I need you…”

Robert wrapped tight around me, his biceps bulging against my sides, and curled his hands around my shoulders. With a firm kiss, he started relentlessly thrusting again. He huffed out a breath through his nose with every push in me and I writhed under him, his thick cock feeling incredible inside me, every stretch of him sending another shot of pleasure through me.

I bit him again on the shoulder and let out a growl. Robert pushed hard and growled, too. “Fuck me deep,” I whispered, the smell of my sweaty boyfriend filling my nose as I left love-bites on his neck and biceps.

“I’m not – gonna – fuck you,” he said between breaths. He slowed again and laid a clawed hand on my chest, looking down in my eyes as he buried his cock. “I’m gonna make love to you.”

My heart pounded under his fingers buried in my chest fur as it hit me how beautiful he was, changed or not. His handsome face framed by his fluffy beard, lupine ears, and disheveled hair was so beautiful.

Robert shuddered and gave a few more erratic thrusts before he pushed as deep as he could. _God, yes, take me._ His cock throbbed inside me and I felt him empty his load of cum into my body. He huffed out heavy breaths of pleasure and locked eyes with me, his hand quivering as he stroked my face.

“Matt, holy shit,” he choked out. He shut his eyes and fell onto me, hugging me tight and thrusting to bury as much cock as he could, shooting rope after rope of jizz in my ass. I held on for dear life and kissed his temple as he quietly growled and mouthed at my shoulder. His cumshot stretched on, the warmth filling me as he throbbed for over half a minute, pumping me full of his massive werewolf load.

When it ended – dear Lord, when it finally ended and I felt like my body couldn’t hold any more cum – he collapsed and I cradled him in my arms with his head laid on my chest.

I stroked his back and kissed his furry neck and shoulders, lavishing him with slow, gentle affection anywhere I could, the only sound our huffs of breath. I felt a strange warmth in my chest – a pleasant, curious feeling, unlike the love I already felt for him. I’d never experienced something quite like it after having sex – maybe never at all. A few tears streamed down my face, the raw love too intense for me to keep my cool.

Robert braced himself on his forearms and looked me in the eyes, his expression turning down. “Matt?”

“I’m okay,” I said with a quiet sniff. I gazed at his face, taking in how he looked while turned – thick scruff, pointy teeth and all. “I love you, Robert,” I whispered. “I love you with all of my heart.”

Robert's lip trembled and his eyes looked wet as he reflexively embraced me, his body so warm I didn't feel like I needed a blanket. “Do you mean it?”

“You're so beautiful,” I said, lightly scratching the back of his head as I gave him a gentle smile. “A beautiful man, and a beautiful soul, and you're everything I want.”

Robert whimpered as his tears fell onto me and I pulled him in to hold his face against my neck. “I love you, too,” he said.

I stroked his back and said, “It's okay, Rob. We're okay.”

Robert cradled my head in a hand and met my lips to softly kiss me. I moaned into it and held on tight, his fangs a lot less scary now. My legs were starting to burn a bit, but I didn't want him to pull out.

Robert quietly chuckled and reared back, glowing eyes roaming over my face. “I'm okay,” he said. “I was just… afraid of scaring you again. I didn’t want you to see it…”

“Don’t be ashamed anymore,” I said. I cupped his jaw and stroked a cheek with my thumb. “I love you, for who you are and what you are.” Another stream of tears fell down my cheeks and I had to pause for a moment to calm down. “It took me longer to realize it than you deserve, but it's gonna be okay.”

Robert sighed with relief and smiled. He sat up and lifted my lower body. “I'm gonna slide out, I know there's… uh, a lot.”

“Wait, stay in me,” I said. “As long as you want.”

Robert’s jaw dropped, but his smile returned as he lifted my legs over his shoulders, his cock still buried deep in me. He gently trailed his hands up and down my thighs, his claws lightly dragging along my skin and tickling me, and I drank in the sensation of him filling me, his eyes locked with mine.

He looked down at my lap where my hard cock lay leaking all over me and wrapped a hand around my shaft. With a little grin, he stroked me from balls to crown all while he slowly thrust in me.

“Fuck, I wanna cum again,” I whispered.

I was so full, and Robert’s cock pushed right against my G spot. His fingers playing with my dick and nuts captivated me as he rubbed and stroked me closer and closer to another cumshot. The pleasure radiated out from my asshole and my cock, and I shuddered as I throbbed between his fingers.

“Come on, cum for me again,” he chuckled.

My cumshot punched the air out of my lungs in an incoherent moan, and Robert just kept stroking as I emptied my balls in big jets of cum all over his fist. I coated his fingers and huffed out noisy breaths, gripping the sheets and resisting arching my back, my asshole clenching his manhood with every rope shot.

I couldn’t focus my eyes until my long orgasm ended. My vision refocused again on Robert sucking my cum off his fingers, then wringing the last of my load out of me in a trickle down the front of my dick.

“Jeez,” I whispered, my whole body feeling a bit like rubber.

Robert let my legs down and dove in for another passionate kiss. He wrapped around me and crushed his lips against mine, moaning into it and holding on tight. Maybe he wanted to cum again, but he pulled away after a few moments and petted my head with a shaky touch.

“I love you,” he whispered. “I’ve said it a dozen times today, but I do.”

“My legs are starting to give out,” I chuckled. “I don’t want you to pull out, though…”

Robert rolled his hips a few times, pushing his cum even deeper.

“Okay, I can’t take anymore,” I said with a big smile.

I clenched as he pulled out, and didn't feel anything come out with his cock, which was both a relief and incredibly erotic. Robert cupped my butt in his palms and rubbed for a few moments with a grin even wider than before, lightly trailing his claws along my skin and letting out a breath through pursed lips. He glanced between my lower body and my face, locking eyes with me and looking happier than I’d seen him since he was bitten. I wondered if I'd satisfied some urge – an intense need to claim – deep in his heart that had been clawing at him from within since turning. Maybe all I did was soothe his wounded soul.

He lay by my side, wrapping a blanket around us, though I barely felt like it was needed, he was a bit like one himself. I looked in his eyes and laid a hand on his face to gently stroke as I basked in the afterglow and the emotional outpouring. After a few minutes, Robert nestled his face in my neck, and I lovingly kissed the side of his head, his arms curled around me in a tender embrace as we relaxed into the nest of blankets.

We were gonna be okay.

 

* * *

 

Something scraping at the door awoke me. I turned my head toward Robert’s bedroom door and cracked my eyes open. It was past dawn, barely bright enough to see everything.

“Rob,” I murmured sleepily. “The – the door.”

Robert – still draped over me like a quilt – rolled over a bit, his weight pressing down on my shoulder.

“Ow, honey, not there.”

“Mm… sorry,” he said before leaving a kiss where he’d hurt me. “I’ll blow you to make up for it.”

“I’m okay. If anything, I’d wanna blow you,” I chuckled.

Robert climbed off the bed and I watched blankets fall away from his beautiful body, his tone butt and legs flexing as he walked to open the door. Betsy fell over onto her face when the door swung open, and she ran around in circles for a bit before scampering out again.

Robert turned around and my eyes drew toward the light teeth marks and love bites. It tickled something primal deep inside of me, and—

“Huh, that’s weird.

He sat down on the edge of the bed and laid a hand on my jaw. “What?”

“Aren’t you supposed to heal really quickly?”

His brow furrowed in confusion. “What? Yeah, why? Did you claw me or something?” he asked with a wink.

I reached up and ran a finger along some of the bites I’d left behind. I knew he liked biting sometimes, but…

His gaze followed my fingers, and the confusion only deepened. He stepped over to a mirror on his dresser to get a better look, his brow furrowing. “Uhhh… hmm.”

“The hickeys are still there, too.” They dotted his shoulders, neck, and clavicles – also how he liked it.

“The fuck?”

“I don’t know. Ask?”

Robert sat down again and scratched one of the big, gorgeous hickeys on a pec, a splotch of purple bite mark fading to light brown. “Uh, hold on.” He started gnawing on a fingernail and slowly ripped off a chunk until it bled. “Ow, fuckin’…”

“What’d you expect, doing th—”

“My torn nail is healing already.” He showed the tip of his finger to me, where I watched the nail bed rapidly regrow until it looked almost perfectly trimmed several moments later.

“Oh.” I sat up and smoothed a hand over his neck covered in love bites. It made no sense.

“I don’t know why they’re still here,” he started. He ran a hand over his shoulder and clasped my fingers with a coy smile. “You know… I think I’m okay with it.”

“I guess we don’t need to bug them with _every_ little thing, huh?”

“Nah.” Robert lightly trailed his hand along my arm, and I shivered. “Let’s give each other some more,” he whispered before curling around me to kiss me hard, rubbing his hardening cock against my lap.

 _“God,_ yes.”


	6. Chapter 6

To: Ellen  
_You were totally right._

From: Ellen  
_Told you_

 

* * *

 

I was a little late to get on the Halloween bandwagon, but with Robert's birthday coming up so soon, I had to get started now. Brian had already made a spooky spectacle of his yard – complete with skeletons, spotlights, a smoke generator, and a giant tarantula with a web on the roof – but I could do better. Maybe. Not really.

Out at a Halloween store – the sort that magically sprung up out of nothing, only to disappear again after October – I bought a variety of decorations to put up. Small wax jack o'lanterns, fuzzy spiders on intricate black webs, cottony fake cobwebs, tiny plastic bats, a witch’s hat and broom, a plastic skeleton, and some white paper lanterns. I got a few pumpkins of various sizes and some fake ravens, too. I'd never gone so gung-ho into Halloween before, but I really wanted Robert's birthday to be special.

Decorating took hours, albeit they passed quickly; I set up the skeleton on the armchair, the broom and hat by the front door, and cobwebs and spiders all over the front windows. I hung more spiders throughout the house and hid ravens in corners and on furniture. I set up some white Christmas lights and drew bony faces on their paper lanterns, and made sure there was a jack o'lantern in every room. My favorite part was lining the lampshades with the bats to cast creepy silhouettes.

After all that, making dinner didn't sound very appealing. This was a lot of money that I probably shouldn't be spending, but Amanda got another scholarship last week and my commission rate just went up, so… I rush ordered a big orange birthday cake with spider webs and a goofy, smiling ghost on it, and bought a two-gallon container of pumpkin turkey chili for dinner.

Should I invite people over, or…

 

* * *

 

Keeping Robert out of my house until his birthday ended up being a simple affair. On top of meeting his werewolf friends once a week now, he still visited Dr. Taft Mondays and Fridays. If we spent time together, I just guided us over to his house instead, either physically or via subtle suggestion. Asking to watch a movie worked ninety percent of the time.

As for guests, I planned to invite everyone (except Joseph) over to throw a surprise party. Starting with Mat.

Thursday morning, I walked into his coffee shop, ready to order something sickly sweet. Mat smiled when I walked in and waved.

“Hey, Double-T,” he said.

“Hey, Single-T.” Having a completely normal conversation after the nonstop drama was _so_ refreshing.

“How’s it goin’?”

“Great! You?”

Mat nodded along to the beat of the reggae playing over the speakers. “Things are pretty chill, and chilly. Our furnace broke and Carmensita has the only working space heater in her room.”

“Shit, that sucks.”

Mat shrugged nonchalantly. “I’ll get it fixed, eventually. What can I get you?”

“Can I get that peppermint and chocolate frappe I had last time I was here?”

“Coming right up!”

I let Mat work for a few moments before bringing up the party—

“How are things with Robert?” he asked.

Perfect timing. “Really good, I haven’t been so happy in a long time.”

“Hey, that’s awesome!” Mat gave a big grin and set my frappe on the counter. While I dug in my wallet for a card, he noticed the ring on my finger. “Is that what I think it is?” he asked, pointing at it.

“The ring?” I glanced at it before handing him some cash. “It’s not an engagement ring if that’s what you mean.”

“I only just noticed it. Did he give that to you?”

The frappe smelled like peppermint bark, and felt too hot to sip, or even hold yet. “He did! We exchanged promise rings a few months ago.”

“That’s so wonderful, it’s very handsome.” Mat processed my change and I dumped some of it in the tip jar. “It’s nice seeing him smile so much,” he said.

“I love seeing him happy. I’m throwing him a surprise birthday party tomorrow evening. Halloween-themed, but not a costume party. You wanna go?”

“A birthday party?” Mat’s face lit up. “Absolutely! Ooh!” He rhythmically slapped the counter and snapped his fingers in a smooth motion. “I got just the thing! I’ll bring some pumpkin bread, is that cool?”

“That'd be great, I’m a little stumped on catering ideas.”

“Perfect! What about gifts?”

I hadn’t thought of that. “It’s really short notice, don’t worry about it. Swing by at five thirty?”

“You got it.”

 

* * *

 

“A birthday party, huh?” Brian scratched his face and grinned. “I’d love to. You mind if I invite Daisy?”

“Go for it.”

Brian walked down the hall to her room. “Honey? You wanna go to a Halloween party tomorrow night?”

I loitered around his envious living room, the enormous plasma TV showing a football game overpowering any ability to eavesdrop. Brian came back a few moments later with a disappointed frown.

“I don’t think she’s too keen on going. She’d rather read all night, I think.”

“Well, that’s okay. Thanks for asking her.”

“No problem. I’ll bring something to the party.”

“Is it booze?” My eyes kept drawing back toward the TV – not to watch the game, just because it was so huge. “Robert’s staying sober.”

Brian held up his hands in a placating gesture. “Say no more, I was just thinking of throwing together a side dish.”

“That would be awesome, thank you!”

 “Alright, I’ll see you at the party!”

 

* * *

 

To: Mary  
_Surprise birthday party for Robert, my house, 5:30 Friday. You in?_

From: Mary  
_As if I’d fucking miss that, count me in._

 

* * *

 

Damien smiled wide and clasped his hands together. “A birthday party? How lovely! I would be honored to go.”

That made four guests so far.

“Is it a dress party, since it’s so close to Halloween? May I bring something for the guests?”

“It isn’t a dress party, but feel free to bring a side dish.”

Damien made a pose I could only call ‘pondering,’ like someone could paint a portrait of it and it would be in an art museum in twenty years. “Ah, I’ll think of something rather than keep you here.”

“Remember, half past five.”

“I’ll be there!”

 

* * *

 

Hugo grimaced and rubbed the back of his neck. “Friday? I have tickets to something that evening…”

Well, that’s most of the neighborhood. “Say no more, I understand.”

“I’ll give Robert my best regards after. I’d hate for him to think I didn’t care.”

 

* * *

 

When I told Craig, his face split in a huge, dumb grin. “A party? Hell yeah, bro! You know I’ll be there. We’re gonna throw Robert the best birthday party he’s ever had!”

“Awesome!” Robert’s party was shaping up to have quite the guest list. “Friday at five thirty, side dishes allowed.”

“Maybe I’ll bring something Paleo…” Craig scratched his chin in thought. “You like Paleo?”

“Uhh… sure! I gotta go for now bro, I’ll see you then.”

 

* * *

 

While standing in the grocery store, staring at vegetables, I called up Amanda to ask her to go. The phone rang a few times, and she answered with an excited shout.

_“Hi Dad!”_

“Hey Amanda! How’s everything going?”

_“Oh, you know how things at college go.”_

The squash looked like I could do something interesting with it, given enough patience. “Yes, yes I do, and that’s what I’m worried about.”

_“Relax, pops, there has been minimal partying and maximal focus on my schoolwork. I love it here.”_

“No one says ‘maximal.’”

 _“What’s wrong with ‘maximal?’ It’s a great word,”_ Amanda said indignantly.

“Nothing,” I chuckled. “It’s just an unusual word. It’s great to hear you’re getting a lot done. I was thinking, what are the chances you could visit tomorrow?”

 _“Um…”_ I heard Amanda set the phone down, along with some indecipherable noise in the background. _“High. I’d need to get a ride down there, but I might be able to convince Charlotte to go with me.”_

“Really?”

_“Yeah, probably!”_

“It’s Robert's birthday tomorrow and I’d love it if you could make it.”

_“It’s his birthday? Say no more, I’ll make it happen.”_

“Thanks, Panda, I’m sure it’ll mean a lot to him.”

 _“Don’t mention it, pops.”_ A short beat. _“That was me finger gunning with my free hand, which you can’t see. I’m gonna go ask Charlotte, I’ll update you soon.”_

“Okay, talk to you soon, kiddo.”

I hung up with a beaming smile and picked out some oranges. Orange was festive, right? Well, the color was. While wandering a bit, I dialed Val’s number and waited through a few rings.

_“Val Small speaking.”_

“Hey Val, it’s Matt.”

_“Aha, my father’s partner – in crime. To what do I owe the pleasure?”_

I bit back a smile. “It’s your dad’s birthday tomorrow, and I’m throwing him a surprise party. I would be eternally grateful if you could make an appearance.”

 _“His birthday? Hmm…”_ I heard a chair squeak. _“It’s been awhile since I visited, hasn’t it? I’ve been meaning to make time, and this is an excellent excuse to get out of work.”_

“Is that a yes?”

_“Maybe. Maybe not.”_

“Val please, just this once, can I get a straight answer?”

Val laughed, a lovely laugh that started high and trailed downward in pitch over a few chuckles. It sounded just like Robert’s. _“Okay, fine, I’m calling in a vacation day for tomorrow as soon as we’re done with this call.”_

I probably would have fallen to my knees and bowed in thanks if we’d been talking in person. “You have no idea how thankful I am.”

_“I have a bit of an idea.”_

“Party’s at six tomorrow, try to show up a bit early. Side dishes are optional.”

_“How about gifts?”_

“Uh… I told everyone else not to worry about it since it’s so short notice.”

_“I’ll make it a surprise. You know, the fun kind of surprise, with potentially tragic results.”_

“Val,” I chuckled.

_“You’ll see. Talk to you later, Matt.”_

“See you soon, have a good day!”

This would be a wonderful party, or I’ll be damned.

 

* * *

 

The guests started trickling in around five. First Mat with pumpkin bread and Brian with apple cider, then Mary, then Damien, who brought a box of homemade pumpkin chocolate chip cookies and some store-bought cookies shaped like bats, spiders, and skulls. Craig showed up at half past five on the dot, with a cucumber, tomato, and avocado salad dyed red to look vaguely like guts. It was incredibly gross.

The turkey pumpkin chili was heating in a crock pot, the cake was in the fridge, I had butternut squash baking in the oven, the creepy cookies were out, the decorations were all ready… Beyond that I was at the mercy of Fate to see to it the party went smoothly. The only thing missing was the two guests of honor.

As the top of the hour neared and they still hadn’t arrived, I gnawed my fingernails as tension gripped me. Try as the others might to distract me, it remained a constant worry – even with Craig recounting tales of college life.

Maybe I should text or call to see what was up. If they showed up late, I could play it off as a delayed surprise or something, but I really wanted everyone to be there.

At five minutes to six, I hid everyone away behind furniture and started writing a text to Robert, but someone knocked at the door. I looked out the window and saw Val and Charlotte talking. Amanda must be nearby.

I opened the door and Val smiled. “Hey,” she said. “Sorry, there was a touch of traffic and then we ran into each other walking here. You know, serendipity.”

“Hi, Dad!” Amanda exclaimed as she dove in for a hug. The impact took me by surprise, and I spun around, twirling her in my arms and laughing with glee.

“Hey, Panda! And hello to you, too!” I said, glancing at Charlotte and Val in turn. “Everyone get inside and hide, I’m gonna get Robert over here.”

I ushered them in, and they hid behind the couch next to Damien.

“Okay, as soon as Robert walks through the door, I want everyone to jump out and yell ‘surprise.’ Maybe not too loud, though…” I hastily tacked on. “But not a peep until then.”

I heard various mutters of assent, and I finalized the text to Robert.

To: Robert  
_I made dinner if you wanna swing by. Trying something new tonight._

A moment later I got a reply.

From: Robert  
_be right there!_

“When in doubt, offer food,” I said with a chuckle.

I paced around the coffee table as I waited, straining to hear the moment he walked up. Ever since he turned, he seemed a bit sneakier – or maybe predatory, like any noise at all would give away his position. At least, that’s what I thought about it. Maybe that was a bit rude. Or racist? It was something, at least. Regardless, it made tracking him difficult.

A knock on the door startled me; I hadn’t heard a thing, as I expected. As I opened the door, I hoped to God he wouldn’t say something unfortunate and out himself to most of the neighborhood _and_ our children. Or even worse, I hoped the surprise wouldn’t make him change. Maybe this was a horrible idea and I screwed us both over.

“Hey,” Robert said, stepping through the door. My eyes drifted down to his chest where some soft hair poked out of the V-neck of his dark blue, short-sleeve shirt. He gently grabbed my biceps and pecked me on the lips with an adorable smile. “I smell turkey.”

As if on cue, everyone jumped out of cover and said, “Surprise!”

Robert jumped too, albeit in terror, clutching his chest with a startled stare.

“Happy birthday!” our neighbors said in unison, and Robert’s expression softened into a big smile.

“No way,” he laughed. “You little shit.” He lightly punched my shoulder, and I couldn’t help but huff out a chuckle. Robert looked around the room at everyone in turn, and stopped to stare at Val.

“Happy birthday, pops,” she said, going in for a hug.

He held on tight and buried his face in the shoulder of her jacket. I couldn’t tell what he said to her, but it was probably for the better I didn’t.

When they separated, Amanda came up to him, too. “Happy birthday Robert!” she exclaimed, and tackled him for a hug that took the wind out of him. He let out an ‘oof!’ and hugged her, too.

“Oh my god,” he said. “What a nice surprise…” He looked around at the decor, his smile widening as he noticed everything I’d done.

“Rob, dear, I’m starving and it’s your party, so please. Let’s have dinner.”

“You’re waiting for me to say go?” He chuckled and shook his head. “You shouldn’t give me that power… alright, let’s eat!”

Everyone descended upon the table of food laid out like ravens upon a corpse – the metaphor seemed particularly apt, given the season – and before I knew it, a full third of everything was gone. Between the delicious chili, salad, pumpkin bread, and too many cookies, I filled my plate in no time.

“Hey bro,” Craig said. He sidled up to me and I watched him stab some salad with a fork. The guts-like salad. “Seeing Robert like this is incredible,” he murmured.

I looked over at Robert and wondered if he could hear us over everyone else chattering – or Amanda, who presently had his ear. “How so?”

“He looks so much happier. He smiles all the time, and he looks like he’s in way better shape. Has he been going to the gym without me or something?” That was from being bitten, I supposed.

“Incredible is one way to put it,” I said.

Craig and I met eyes for a moment before glancing back at Robert. “What word would you use?”

I watched Robert and Amanda talk. He looked at me and we locked eyes. There’s no way he missed what we were saying, not with his werewolf hearing. “You know what, Craig? I think incredible is a great word for him.”

Robert’s gaze broke away and he looked back at Amanda and Charlotte with a boyish smile.

Val walked up to us and raised a wine glass of apple cider. “Gentlemen.”

“Val, you know I’m not _that_ gentlemanly,” I said.

“If you knew me in college, you’d know I’m the opposite of gentlemanly,” Craig said.

“Let’s not scare her,” I said.

Craig laughed and stabbed a few more chunks of reddened avocado.

“Enjoying the party?” I asked.

“Aside the creepy bloody salad. No offense, Craig, it’s just a bit too uncanny valley for me.”

“That’s okay, more avocado for me.”

“I like the bats in the lampshades, and the little skeleton lanterns,” Val added.

“I let myself be a kid again while decorating.”

“It really shows. It’s all very whimsical,” Val said. She looked at the pumpkins on the coffee table surrounded in newspaper and carving tool packs, the spiders ‘crawling’ all over the windows, and the raven on top the record player. “Great stuff.” She glared at me and in a deathly serious tone, said, “Too bad those spiders are the last thing you’ll ever see.”

I laughed hard and almost choked on apple cider as I doubled over. At my side, I vaguely registered Craig slowly stepping away.

“Um…”

“It’s fine, Craig,” I wheezed. “It’s just a thing we do.”

“Oh, alright.”

Val’s face lit up. “I need to go say hi to Mary. Gentlemen,” she nodded with a cheeky grin.

“Have fun… or face your doom,” I growled. Val laughed as she walked over to where Mary stood and started talking up a storm with her.

“So, how’s it goin’?” Amanda said at my side.

I nearly jumped and laid a hand on my chest in surprise. “Whoa! Don’t sneak up on me.”

Amanda just giggled. She looked taller and had her leather jacket on. Somehow, I’d missed that she had a bob cut now. Charlotte was with her with a plate of chili and salad, a paper cup of cider balanced precariously in the center.

“I see you’ve been busy while I’ve been at college.”

“I’m glad someone finally noticed the new décor. I’ve been wanting to embrace my inner goth since you were six.”

“Pfft, right. Anyway, dad look—er, Robert looks happy.”

My heart flipped in my chest, and my gaze darted between Amanda’s reddening face and Robert’s astonished, wide-eyed stare from across the room that made Mary snap her fingers to get his attention again.

“I suppose that’s your doing,” she said, ignoring her fumble.

“I had a hand in it,” I said, also ignoring her fumble, even though I’ve hoped for this for months.

“More than just a hand in it,” Craig said, barely restraining a laugh.

“Shut up,” I muttered, throwing a light punch at his shoulder.

“Ow! Stop!” He cackled as I punched a few more times, shielding himself with his hands and crossing his legs to guard his delicate bits.

Amanda rolled her eyes and grumbled. “I’m just gonna pretend you didn’t say that.”

When I finished assailing Craig with my fist, I turned back to them and met Charlotte’s eyes with a smirk. “Amanda heckled you into going to a party with a bunch of strangers, huh?”

“Yeah,” Charlotte said between bites of chili. “She bribed me with food. This is way better than the campus cafeteria, so I’d say it was worth.”

“It was ‘worth?’”

She paused before taking a bite of a cookie. “It. Worth it,” Charlotte hesitantly added.

“Is that one of those ‘memes?’”

Charlotte paused and stared blankly at me. “I changed my mind, we’re going back to campus now.”

“You both ready for cake?”

“I’m _dying_ for cake,” Amanda said with a dramatic groan.

“It’s cake time, everyone!” I yelled.

Everyone gathered around the table while I dug the cake out of the fridge – with candles in place already – and brought it into the living room held triumphantly around head level.

“Ta da!” I exclaimed as I set down the ghost-and-spiders cake in a free spot near the edge of the table.

“Oh no,” Robert said with a bit of a squeak in his voice. When I looked at him, he was hiding a big, embarrassed grin behind his hands.

Forty-five candles dotted the surface of the cake, and it took me a few moments going over them with the grill lighter to set them aflame.

“Happy birthday to you,” Mat started, then everyone joined in while Robert scratched the back of his neck and fought off an ear to ear smile.

“Make a wish and blow out the candles,” I said.

Robert gave pause watching the flames dance, then took a deep breath and blew them all out in one go, leaving wispy smoke trails behind.

“Nice!” Craig said.

I served the first piece to him, the one with the smiling ghost on it, then served everyone else in turn.

“Ah, no thanks, bro. I don’t need all that sugar.” Craig pushed the plate back toward me with a shake of his head.

“Aw, come on,” I said. “No one ever gained weight from one piece of cake.”

He let out a reluctant sigh and a smile crept to his lips. “Okay, hit me.”

He accepted it only after I shaved off half of it, but I made sure he had plenty of frosting, so I considered that a victory.

It warmed my heart to look out over my living room full of chatty, happy neighbors. I could hardly remember when I avoided even leaving my house to evade socializing as much as possible. If Amanda hadn’t insisted, I had no idea where I’d be now. Maybe if I hadn’t gone to that bar, I wouldn’t have started along the path to love with Robert.

It was a strange thought to consider. I didn’t want to imagine a life without him, now.

 

* * *

 

I’d almost forgotten that I planned for a jack o'lantern carving ‘contest,’ but thankfully Brian jogged my memory when he picked up a set of pumpkin carving tools still in the box to inspect it.

“Oh, Brian!” I exclaimed.

He glanced at me in surprise and pointed a finger toward himself.

“I forgot about the pumpkins! Everyone! We’re gonna carve pumpkins!”

All eyes turned on me as I stood next to the coffee table and regretted saying anything at all; everyone staring was a bit nerve wracking.

“I got enough carving tools for four teams, so let’s all pair off and start carving! Make anything you want – goofy, fun, spooky, doesn’t matter.”

“Is this a competition?” Mary asked.

“Uh… well, I don’t have a prize, if that’s what you mean.

Mary shrugged, then grabbed Damien by the arm. “Dibs.”

They paired up for one pumpkin – until Val butted in and made it a trio. Amanda and Robert teamed up for another, with Charlotte making it three. Brian and Craig teamed up, too, leaving Mat alone.

“Hey, Double-T,” he said. “Let’s show everyone what we’ve got!”

“We got this, man.” I punched my open palm and Mat beamed.

“That’s the spirit!”

He inspected our carving tools while I cut open the pumpkin from the bottom and began scooping out seeds and pulp. “Uh… what should we make?”

I looked at Mat, then at the other teams. It looked like Damien, Mary, and Val were drawing bats on the surface of their pumpkin. Robert, Amanda, and Charlotte were drawing hideously sharp teeth and a hateful glare on theirs. Brian and Craig’s pumpkin wasn’t at an angle where I could tell what they were doing.

“We could go with the old standby,” I said.

“Triangle eyes and cheeky grin?”

“You know it!”

Mat had a steadier hand than I, and drew the eyes, nose, and mouth in with a sharpie. We carefully carved the shapes into it until we had a friendly, smiling jack o’lantern.

“Everyone done?” I asked, after a few more minutes for good measure.

“Not quite,” Brian said. “Can I have just a little bit longer?”

“Sure!”

Robert turned his group’s pumpkin around to show off the terrifyingly toothy expression. Just looking at it gave me the heebie jeebies; I wondered what it’d look like lit up.

As Mary spun their pumpkin around, Damien said, “Bats, as the guardian of the night, are the epitome of everything Halloween, equal parts misunderstood and harrowing at once. They are the perfect subject for this work of art.” There were half a dozen of them carved in loving detail.

Brian cleared his throat and spun around his and Craig’s pumpkin to show off an intricate depiction of AC/DC’s logo and five crude band members. The lack of Brian Johnson’s ubiquitous beret made it clear that Brian (or Craig) preferred the Bon Scott era, may he rest in peace. Still, were this a real competition and not a fun pastime, I’d have to declare them the winners. How they accomplished it in such short time completely mystified me.

“Wow,” I said, while others let out murmurs and Robert whistled in appreciation.

One-upped yet again by Brian – or Craig, I couldn’t be certain.

While everyone admired the jack o'lanterns and set up battery-powered fake candles in them, Robert sidled up to me and leaned in close.

“Brian’s not a werewolf,” he whispered in my ear.

I turned to look him in the eyes; he had a cute little smile and one of his eyebrows was quirked. “He isn’t?”

“No. I’d know.”

“Did you just figure this out? I thought you’d want to know right after we met Lawrence.”

Robert shrugged. He took a big bite of a cookie and it audibly crunched as he chewed, still looking at Brian. “Wasn’t a high priority. He’s just a very hairy guy.”

Huh. “That pumpkin he carved must have taken some sort of supernatural power, I’m certain of it.”

“Maybe he sold his soul to David Blaine.”

“He looks too mundane for that,” I said.

Robert shrugged again.

Someone clapped loudly, and I started in surprise. “Alright, boys, it’s gift time,” Mary said in the center of the room. Everyone glanced at her – some with worried expressions – but she didn’t pay any mind.

“Were we supposed to get something?” Brian murmured.

“I don’t believe so,” Damien said.

I waved a hand and shook my head to calm them. “Too short notice. Don’t worry about it.”

Mary produced from her pocket a long, thin box gift-wrapped with wicked looking jack-o’-lantern paper. “Happy birthday, loser,” she said with a smirk, holding it out to Robert.

Robert laughed and swiped it from her, then carefully unwrapped a plain white box with a loopy Remington logo printed on the side. Everyone watched with bated breath as his brow furrowed in curiosity. His jaw dropped when he opened it and pulled out a folding knife with a black blade and greenish mottled handle.

“I remembered you didn’t have a green one yet,” Mary said.

Robert ran a thumb along the flat side of the blade. “Carbon fiber…” he whispered. “You remembered that?”

Mary shrugged like it was nothing, complete with cocked eyebrow and casual smirk.

“How dare you make me _feel things.”_ He narrowed his eyes in a glare while Mary laughed. “I’ll get my revenge, mark my words.”

I glanced at Craig, made wary by Val’s earlier joke, but he laughed along with Mary and everyone else. Maybe he just forgot that’s how Robert and Val were for a moment.

“This reminds me of the first knife I ever got,” Robert began. He twirled the knife around and examined the handle. “I was only ten. Dad wanted to show me how to whittle so we went out into the woods near our house. After the first few cuts, bam!” he exclaimed, pantomiming slicing away from himself with the blade. “Cut right into my index finger. Right here.”

He pointed near the meaty part of his palm and I saw mild panic fall over him as we both remembered in unison that his scars were all gone.

“Where’d all your scars go?” Brian asked.

“Uh… experimental laser removal. Real cutting-edge stuff. Worked wonders.” He held out his hand for Brian to look at up closely, though he turned to look at me with a look like a deer in headlights, pleading for help. I thought about rushing forward to ask to see the knife or something, but how that’d help eluded me. Maybe I could make up having a gift for him, or…

“Wow,” Mat said. He whistled appreciatively. “I just noticed you had your tattoo removed, too.”

“Oh, yeah, you know how it goes.” Robert shrugged flippantly, though I could tell he was still nervous. “Drunken mistakes make for morning regrets. Finally got around to getting it removed. But enough about me; what are some of _your_ drunken mistakes?”

“Hmm.” Mat chuckled and blushed. “There haven’t been many. Carmensita walked in on me passed out on the living room floor, once.”

“That’s nothing,” Craig said. “One time, Matt and I—”

“Craig,” I spat out as my anxiety spiked. “Maybe not in front of my daughter.”

“Pfft, alright boys,” Mary said, stepping forward to take the stage. “So get this. A few years back, Rob and I…”

I wiped sweat from my brow in relief now that the pressure wasn’t on Robert anymore. For almost half an hour, we exchanged stories both hilarious and mortifying of terrible, inebriated decisions. Robert sidled up to me and curled an arm around my side while he listened intently and laughed with glee. He sounded so beautiful… and happy.

 

* * *

 

Guests began departing around eight. Brian left first, citing wanting to get back to Daisy. Damien left after, wishing Robert well and saying he had an early work day tomorrow, which was a shame since early Saturday shifts were the worst.

When Craig – the last to leave – finally said goodnight, I went back to the kitchen to put away leftovers only to find Robert stuffing the last container in the fridge.

“Oh, thanks for getting that.”

Robert turned around and approached me with a soft gaze and a fond smile. “It’s the least I could do.”

“Hey pops,” Val said from behind me. Robert looked over my shoulder and smiled. “I got something for you, but I figured a private exchange would be more appropriate for this one.”

I spun to face her, and watched Robert accept a black-and-orange box from her. “What is it that you’d feel that way?” he asked.

Val scoffed. “Come on, it’s a _gift._ You don’t ask before you unwrap.”

I looked down the hall to my right and saw that Amanda’s door was closed. Her and Charlotte were doing who-knows-what in there.

Robert just stared at the gift and thumbed it for a moment. When I stepped around him to watch, I couldn’t read his expression. At last he started tearing off paper until he exposed another plain box, inside of which was a dark leather binder.

“What’s this?”

I picked up the loose paper and discarded box while Robert opened the binder to reveal pages upon plastic pages full of photos. It was hard to not feel like an intruder in the moment as he silently flipped through photos of Val and a beautiful lady in various locales.

“Is this…”

“I’ve made so many memories over the years and I kind of…” Val shrugged and tossed a hand up. “I’d like to acquaint you with some of them, I guess. That sounds kind of weird.”

Robert kept slowly flipping through photos, taking his time to look at each one.

“There’s a bunch of empty pages,” I said dumbly.

“Well, yeah, so we can fill them together,” Val said.

You could almost hear a pin drop as Robert’s lips twisted in a frown and a few tears slid down his cheeks. He wiped them away with this thumb and forefinger, and Val’s face turned down.

“Thank you,” Robert whispered shakily. The album quietly slammed shut in a hand as he lurched toward Val. She started in surprise as he brought her in for a hug.

She patted his back for a few moments, glancing at me as if asking for help, but I shrugged with a smile.

“You wanna add one to the album?” she asked.

“Right now?” His eyes lit up as he drew away.

“Yeah. Matt, could you go get Amanda and Charlotte?”

I tilted my head in curiosity. “How come?”

“Duh, family photo. I want Charlotte to take the photo so we can all be in it.”

“Alright, be right back.”

I knocked on Amanda’s bedroom door more vigorously than necessary. “Whaaaat?” she asked, clearly annoyed as she flung the door open. “What’s the hurry?”

“Uh, sorry. Family photo?” I asked, hooking a thumb over my shoulder toward the living room.

Her brow shot up in surprise. “Family photo? Sure! Be right there.”

Robert was still sniffing and wiping his eyes when I came back.

“You okay there, big guy?” I asked with a chuckle.

Robert laughed and wiped his face dry with a shirt sleeve. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

I sidled up and curled a hand around his side to hold him close while Val hooked my arm over her shoulder. Amanda did the same at Robert’s side, and Charlotte stood in front of us, patiently waiting until all four of us handed our smartphones to her.

“Uhhhhhhh,” she said, holding the smartphones like playing cards. “Gimme a sec.”

After a bit of round robin photo-taking – and enough flashes going off to lightly blur my vision with afterimages – Charlotte handed our phones back and we compared how they all turned out.

“Your hair looks great in this one, pops,” Val said.

Robert scoffed in mock offense. “My hair always looks great.”

“Amanda looks adorable in that jacket,” Charlotte said.

“Hey! Adorable is _not_ the intent,” Amanda exclaimed with a glare.

“You look dangerous, Panda,” I said.

Amanda sulked for a moment with her arms crossed. “Pandas aren’t very dangerous…”

“Are you _sure?”_ Robert asked.

Amanda opened her mouth as if to respond but started typing something on her phone instead. The photo on Robert’s phone looked pretty good, though Val was mid-blink or someth—

“‘Pandas are usually very peaceful but can become violent especially if provoked by humans. There are numerous reports of panda-related injuries in zoos around the world.’” She put her hands on her hips with a self-satisfied smirk. “There, pandas _are_ dangerous.”

“Told you,” Robert said with a smile.

“No, you didn’t,” I said.

“Yeah, you’re right. But I put the idea in her head.”

“We’re gonna go listen to angry music about how everything sucks,” Charlotte said.

“Okay, don’t _Rage Against the Machine_ too hard.”

Amanda and Charlotte’s departure left me alone with Robert and Val. Val diverted her attention fully to her phone for a moment before it snapped back to us.

“It’s been great hanging out, but I’ve gotta head back home.”

“You always leave so soon!” I said, pouring disappointment into my tone.

“What can I say, I’m a busy girl. Alright pops, gimme a goodbye hug.”

I turned around while they hugged, intending to give them a bit of father-daughter bonding time—

“I love you, Val,” he whispered, barely audible to me.

Oh.

I snuck off to the kitchen as quietly as I could, lest I accidentally intrude any more. While I stood there, a little embarrassed from overhearing Robert, I checked the fridge – yep, everything was in there. The cake was boxed up and wouldn’t go stale, the turkey chili – what was left of it – was sealed—

“Hey.”

I slowly spun around to see Robert standing by the bar stools with a soft smile. He approached and curled around me to sway us back and forth. “That was one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me, thank you.”

I held on and swayed with him, leaning into his warm body. “What’s the absolute nicest thing?”

Robert’s eyes stayed firmly locked with mine. “Someone loved me when I thought I didn't deserve it.”

I nodded thoughtfully. “I hope you think otherwise, now.”

“Maybe a bit.” His eyes looked warm in the dim light thrown off by the lamps in the living room. “Seems kind of arrogant to think I deserve it, don’t you?”

I hugged him closer until our faces were inches apart. “I think you deserve it.”

“It was you, you know. You gave your heart to me when you deserved better,” he said quietly. He stroked a hand up and down my back while I slowly twirled us into the living room, the creepy decor making for interesting conversational scenery.

“I love you, Rob,” I whispered, my chest warm from the feelings brimming over. “Happy birthday.”

Robert smiled wide, his eyes lighting up and crinkling, and he leaned into me and nestled his face in my neck. I hugged tight and stroked down his back.

“I love you so much,” he said.

I planted a kiss on the side of his head and held him against my face for a moment. “You wanna spend the last few hours of your birthday in private?” I asked.

Robert huffed a laugh out his nose. “I’d love nothing more. Let’s go to my place.”

“Sounds good to me.”

I gave him another kiss before I let go, then knocked on Amanda’s door. Charlotte answered as Amanda paused her music.

“Hey, Mr. Matt,” she said.

“What’s up?” Amanda asked.

“I’m gonna go watch movies with Robert for the rest of the evening, you two have fun.”

“Have fun,” Charlotte said, smiling coyly like she didn’t believe me.

“Okay, don’t watch anything scary. Remember when you watched the last _Saw_?” Amanda said.

“We don’t talk about that.”

Amanda looked Charlotte in the eyes. “I had to follow him around the house for a week to make sure no one would jump out from the shadows to kidnap and torture him.”

“Those movies are terrifying and who knows how many copycats might be lurking out there?!”

“See? Anyway, have fun!”

I met Robert in the living room again, where he had a big grin. “You watched a _Saw_ movie?”

“That took a year off my life, I swear,” I said as I locked the front door behind us.

“They’re terrible. Nothing but torture porn.”

Robert let us in his house and sent me up to his room as he tended to Betsy’s food and water bowls. I hadn’t planned anything other than that I just wanted some slow and tender sex.

“Now that that's done,” Robert said behind me, startling me.

“God!” I spun around, clutching my chest, though he didn’t seem perturbed at all.

“Sorry,” he chuckled.

“This whole walking silently thing has to stop,” I said.

Robert smoothed his hands over my chest. “What? Why?”

With my heart racing, I said, “It’s taking years off my life, just like _Saw 3D_ did.”

“I’ll make it up to you.” Robert kissed me with slow laps of his tongue and tiny nibbles on my lip. “I want you inside me tonight.”

“God, yes.”

We slowly stripped each other, kissing anywhere clothing wasn’t in the way. Robert gently peeled my boxers off me, his hard cock standing in waiting for me, but I wasn’t gonna let him have it yet. Instead, I ran my fingers through the hair coating him, feeling how firm his pecs were now.

“You gonna let the wolf out for me again?” I asked.

Robert didn’t say anything; he just watched with a sultry gaze as I ran my hands over his chest and tone belly. He went in to kiss me and planted it on my cheek as I went in to lick his neck.

I slowly ground my cock against his hip, hoping to get him worked up enough to wolf out. He grabbed my ass and kneaded, dragging his lips along my neck as he let out a huff of breath through his nose.

It seemed to be getting to him; after a few moments of grinding as I sucked a hickey on his neck, his breath picked up and he lifted me an inch or two off the floor to clutch my butt cheeks.

“Let the wolf out for me, babe,” I whispered, then bit his shoulder until there were barely visible teeth marks.

Robert’s nose met my shoulder as I nibbled along the thick muscle of his neck. He took a deep, slow sniff, his hands stroking my butt shuddering as he let his breath out. His cock was rock hard against me and I desperately wanted to suck his balls dry.

I left a couple more hickeys, then moved back to kissing and licking his broad, furry chest. I combed my fingers through the fur all over and laid a few kisses in his thick happy trail as I knelt before him.

Robert gently thrust his hard dick toward my face. With my hands on his hips to keep him still, I ran my tongue along the side of his manhood, tasting his sweat as I looked up in his eyes.

“Oh fuck, Matt, please suck my cock.”

I curled my fingers around the base of his cock, his nuts in my palm, and stroked his hairy lap before I went down on him and swallowed his precum.

Robert let out a sigh as I slowly sucked him to the back of my throat, enough to get him to shudder but not enough to buckle his knees. Hopefully I could pour enough into it to get him to change. I spent a few minutes lavishing his cock with attention, tasting every inch of him and breathing him in.

I pulled off and left a wet kiss on the tip of his cock and took a deep breath, having gotten a bit too into it. I licked some precum out of the slit and wrapped my lips around the crown for a moment, then sucked as I pulled off again. “I want you to let the wolf out.”

Robert rolled his hips and his hard dick slid against my cheek. He wanted to cum, and I wanted to eat his load, but I needed him to turn first.

I cupped his butt cheeks and dove nose first into his crotch to smell him while I lapped at his nuts and sucked on one. He kept thrusting the air and rubbed his shaft on my face, getting me wet and giving himself some relief. I squeezed his butt while I sucked on his balls, licking all over to taste his sweat, his other hand gently resting on my shoulder sending a pleasant warmth through me.

_Come on._

A glance up showed me the handsome sight of Robert, staring wide-eyed at me while he worried his lip between his teeth. His flat tummy looked so furry from this angle that I let his nuts slip from my mouth to give him a kiss below his navel in the thick of his treasure trail.

I hugged my arms around his legs and sucked his big cock between my lips again, pulling him all the way to the back of my throat. He let out a huff of breath and took the back of my head as he pushed his cock in shallow thrusts. My dick was so hard that I needed to get in him soon, so I licked his manhood more intently and drove deeper on him.

“Ooh, wanna cum so bad,” he said in a low, growly tone. If he shifted as he came, I’d consider that a huge victory.

The precum kept coming and I kept swallowing Robert down, licking the head and dragging my lips along his cock until he throbbed and a spurt of thick cum coated my tongue.

“Oh fuck,” Robert whispered.

I took him deep and sucked up and down his cock as he let out a few interesting sounding moans.

“Fuck,” he said as he shuddered. His shaft pulsed hard again and another spurt of delicious cum hit my throat – I was ready to count his ropes this time.

I rubbed Robert’s butt as his cock throbbed, pumping jet after jet of hot cum, and I kept swallowing as he shot five, ten ropes for me to eat.

“God,” he growled, and I hollowed my cheeks to really surround his shaft with my mouth.

Fifteen ropes; his fingernails dug into my shoulder, and I kept swallowing. He kept pumping; twenty, twenty-five big spurts of cum, every single one down my throat. His cumshot slowed, and the last few jets of cum in my belly brought it to twenty-eight.

I hummed in satisfaction around his dick and licked him clean before glancing up to see a man totally lost in bliss, his eyes unfocused as he released my shoulder.

“Holy shit,” he whispered.

I had a feeling I’d be tasting his cum for a while, not that I’d ever complain about that. Still, it was disappointing that he didn’t change.

Robert clumsily hooked his hands in my armpits and lifted me into a stand, only to sit me down on his bed. He didn’t say a word as he knelt between my legs, weight braced on my thighs, and I watched him take my shaft between his lips. He started sucking at a molasses pace from the base of my manhood to the tip, starting with licking my precum off.

It felt so good watching and feeling him lick and swallow my cock, it was easy to forget everything else. He pulled off me and kissed the tip, then he buried his face in my crotch. I felt him breathe in deep, and he kissed one of my balls. He stroked my butt with a hand as he inhaled deep, his fingertips gently stroking my skin, then he kissed up my belly and smelled me there, too.

“You’re so beefy,” I said dumbly. I trailed a hand down his arm to grab a bicep, and I lovingly petted Robert’s back as he sniffed all over me and nuzzled me with his bearded jaw, and I shivered when he hugged me – I expected claws and braced, but he wasn’t changing.

He went in to suck my cock from hilt to tip until I was throbbing hard and aching to cum, then he let off with a kiss and looked me in the eyes with a smile. “I want this big dick in me.”

“Um, where’s the lube?”

Robert glanced around the nightstands. It wasn’t there, nor on the floor under them. “Shit, uhh… oh.” He reached under the bed and brushed some dust off the tube. “Here.”

“Gross, it’s all dusty!”

“Hey, the lube itself is perfectly usable.”

Robert lay on his back on the bed and held his legs out of the way, baring his perfect butthole for me. I fingered him with plenty of lube, watching him quickly relax into it, his cock jumping every time he clenched down on me. He really loved when I ran my thumb along his taint or kissed and licked his balls while I stroked his thigh, letting out little breaths of pleasure while I played with his G spot.

“Ready?” I asked, knuckle deep inside him.

“Kind of just want you to do this all night,” he chuckled, the smile bringing a sparkle to his eyes.

“Don’t want this big dick in you anymore?”

“God, I _do,_ give it to me,” he said.

I knelt at his ass and coated my cock in lube until it shone in the dim light streaming from the window, and I poked the head against his butt and rubbed for a few moments. Robert kept eye contact with me, but I looked down to watch his asshole swallow my cock as I pushed in.

Robert let out a slow breath from pursed lips as I sunk into him, his warm body enveloping my manhood until I bottomed out. I bent over and wrestled with him a bit until he was on his side and holding his legs out of the way, twisted a bit to still look up at me.

“Good?”

“Great,” he said.

I wanted to cum so bad as I thrust in him, his slick body just what I needed, but so much more than that I wanted him to let the animal out, to let me make sweet love to my werewolf boyfriend. Robert looked in my eyes as I pushed in him, though he let them fall closed after a few moments. One of his arms lay lax on the bed, and I laced my fingers with his.

My languid pace wouldn’t get me to cum soon, but my cock sliding between his plump butt cheeks sure felt incredible after the huge load I ate nearly giving me blue balls.

As I thrust deep in Robert, he looked lost in bliss, his eyes shut and his breath coming slowly. I reached forward and stroked the side of his face with a free hand and leaned in to plant a tender kiss to his temple. “I love you so deeply,” I whispered, and I laid a hand on his back to gently stroke anywhere and everywhere.

I rubbed his shoulder and thumbed his knuckles, and he began turning before my very eyes. I watched in fascination as his ears elongated, and the canines in his open mouth somehow turned to fangs. I didn’t let my pace falter even as I watched his fingernails thicken to claws, and hair rapidly grew in under my palm leading to a very interesting sensation of being tickled.

Robert didn’t seem to notice – or didn’t care – that he’d changed. All he seemed to want was my cock stretching his ass open and my balls slapping his skin.

I leaned in again and kissed all over his scruffy jaw, gently trailing my fingers along his pointy ears that adorably wiggled a little in response. “I love you with all of my heart,” I whispered to him, heaving out a bit louder with every thrust between his butt cheeks.

He turned his head and cracked open his eyes to look at me, the golden-brown light a striking sight, but… this was Robert, my beautiful boyfriend. I didn’t care if he changed when we made love, or even when we didn’t, if he shared his life with me.

Robert tried to roll over, and I paused to let him lift his leg. His ass twisting around my cock almost made me cum, but with him fully on his back I curled around him and cradled his head in my hand.

Every push in him sent pleasure coursing down my manhood and through the rest of me. I took his lips in mine and hungrily kissed him with a deep moan, not caring about his fangs at all. Claws lightly poked my back as he hugged me too, and I held on tight to his hairy back as I sped up a bit, each thrust pushing him up the bed.

I dragged my lips down his bearded jaw and nibbled on him. Robert threw back his neck to bare it to me, and I licked down his hairy skin and sucked a love bite, my cock twitching inside him as I let off him.

“You’re—so—handsome, wolfed out,” I heaved between pushes. I left behind a trail of light bite marks and hickeys on his shoulders and Robert lightly dragged his fangs across my neck, but I wasn’t afraid of it – not anymore.

Robert pulled away after sucking on my neck with a gasp and looked in my eyes with a vulnerability to him. “Take me, Matt,” he murmured.

I ran my hands over his hairy shoulders, his furry pecs, and along his neck as I pushed deep, his pulse quickening and his asshole throbbing as it hugged my shaft. “I’m gonna cum soon,” I huffed out.

“Cum deep in me,” Robert growled again. “Cum as deep as you can in me.”

I pushed deep and the pleasure ramping up as I buried every inch of my cock inside my beloved boyfriend punched the air out of me. My shaft pulsed hard as I emptied my balls into him, and I huffed out noisy breaths as the ecstasy of cumming flowed through me, as Robert looked in my eyes and his claws pressed into my back. I pumped my cum deep in him and slowly thrust to push my load even further and drag my cumshot out, still throbbing through the tail end of it.

Robert said nothing, and I said nothing. The curious warmth revisited me and filled my heart as I bred him, our foreheads together and our eyes locked in intimate quiet. His body eagerly accepted every drop and inch of me. The golden glow to his eyes started looking less alien and more like just a part of him now. Even the hair covering him felt nice.

I stroked his face as my cum sunk in. “You’re so beautiful,” I said. “You’re so handsome and beautiful.” I laid my head on his supremely hairy chest and he hugged me so gently and tenderly I thought I might cry.

Robert rubbed my back and kissed my neck in the quiet while I nuzzled the soft fur – a man's fur, not animal fur – everywhere. “I love you,” he said.

“I wanna make you cum again,” I said in a low and sultry whisper, rearing back to look in his eyes. I grabbed his hard cock and gently stroked.

“I wanna paint you,” Robert said. “Hold onto me.”

I curled tight around him and Robert rolled us over so he was sitting on my lap, my cock still inside him and his dick laying on my belly. I pawed at the bed for the lube and drizzled some on him, then started a good pace of twisting and stroking.

Oh god, this was gonna be a mess, but he wanted it, and I wanted to make his birthday perfect, so…

It didn’t take long at all for Robert to shudder, his eyes unfocused. He throbbed in my hand and around my cock, and he watched in fascination as the first big rope shot clear from my treasure trail to the base of my neck, sticking to me. He emptied himself in long, warm ropes that clung to me as he pulsed between my fingers. Robert’s claws dug into my biceps, but I kept stroking him as he literally painted me like he wanted.

Somehow, he shot barely less cum than his last load; I squeezed more than twenty-five ropes of jizz out of him, along with a few leftover drops, most of it on my chest and belly, the rest on my neck and pooling at the hollow of my throat. It was unbelievable how much he had in him, and beyond strange that turning into a werewolf would do such an odd thing.

“Holy shit, Rob,” I murmured, looking down at the mess on me.

“Wow,” he said, dumbfounded as he trailed a hand along my shoulder.

It was extremely sticky and pleasantly warm, and I hadn’t a single clue how to begin cleaning up. Robert had ideas, apparently, because he scooped some up off a pec with his fingers and gently fed it to me.

As I licked and kissed the fingers of one hand, he tenderly rubbed my body with the other, smearing cum everywhere and working it into my skin. He wore a big, sincere grin, and I couldn’t bear to ask him to stop. I kept my eyes locked with his and let the joy flood my heart.

Robert fed me so much cum that, were he a normal man, I’d think he fed me four entire loads just from this cumshot alone, but there was still more he hadn’t given me to eat. I stared at his cock laying on my tummy as he rubbed the last few ropes into my belly fur. I felt almost uncomfortably sticky, but Robert looked so happy…

“I love you,” I whispered, looking in his eyes as he stroked my tacky pecs, the urge to say it again bubbling over. “You mean the world to me.” I was rock hard again from Robert breeding himself on me as he used my skin as a canvas, but I didn’t want to shoot again, I just wanted to hold him.

Robert leaned in and cupped my jaw with his sticky hands to slowly kiss me, and I hugged him as close as I could. My gorgeous, hairy man sat contentedly on my lap with my cock buried in him for a few more minutes as we kissed and petted each other. I had somehow acclimated to the fangs, and his back hair didn’t bother me anymore; it was wonderful, making love to him while he was turned. It was exactly what we both needed to bond again.

Robert drew away with a smooch sound, leaving a lingering kiss between us, and slowly lifted himself off my lap. My cock slipped out of him, and he lay down at my side to wrap around me in a tight hug so I couldn’t escape, but I held on and pillowed my head on his shoulder. The hair under my cheek tickled a bit, and his claws poked my back, but… the love was so much stronger than the discomfort. Ending his birthday holding him like this was beyond perfect.


	7. Chapter 7

The next full moon fell on November third. Wednesday was a waxing gibbous, and like Lawrence had warned, Robert changed while we were sitting on his couch with all the shades drawn. It was cloudy all evening, but the moon peeked out every so often, creating a very odd on-again off-again transformation that made paying attention to the movie a little difficult. I couldn’t help but laugh after the fifth time he hunched over and snarled as the change took him, even though it scared Betsy away with a yelp.

“Stop,” Robert muttered. “You’re not helping.”

“Aw… I’m sorry,” I said. I reached to pet Robert’s shoulder, a little wary that he might actually be mad, but he let me stroke down his back. “I know this is frustrating, but if we can’t laugh at it, what _can_ we do?”

Robert sat hunched over, his hands draped over his knees and his claws on full display. “I don’t understand why the others don’t change unless they want to. Or more like _how_ they don’t change.” He inspected the front and back of one of his hands.

I reached for the remote and paused the movie; I’d lost the plot, anyway. “What have they told you about it?”

“Lawrence just said I’ll figure it out eventually, which was really unsatisfying. Jackson tried to show me by explaining it like…” Robert buried his face in his hands. “Ugh, it was so confusing.”

“Like what?”

“Like riding a bike and eventually it’ll just click if I keep practicing, but I don’t have anything _to_ practice! I still can’t show off claws or fangs whenever I want, or anything.”

Robert slouched against the couch in defeat with his arms crossed and his gaze averted. The hard furrow in his brow and guarded posture wasn’t terribly inviting, though the former gave way and his expression turned down into a sad frown.

“They won’t tell me how long it took to get control of it. Ellen actually _forgot_ how long it took her, she just said that the years – well, decades – can blur together.”

Decades…

“They just said they can’t really estimate how long it’ll take.” Robert suddenly changed again to look totally human. He growled in frustration and tossed a throw pillow across the room, making it live up to its name.

“Rob, please, just give it time. You have _tons_ of it, now.”

He sighed and looked in my eyes, then he laid a hand on my back, only to sneak it over to my side and effortlessly pull me into a close side hug with his preternatural strength. “Yeah… I guess I do. No reason to rush, anymore. I meet them again tomorrow since Friday is the full moon, so I’ll have a lot to talk about with them.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I spied Betsy slinking back with her tail between her legs. I hadn’t thought about how this must be affecting her; she probably couldn’t understand, so I guess it was just getting used to it.

Either way, I really couldn’t focus on that right now; Robert remained my chief concern and had for weeks now. I just… couldn’t do much of anything to help, and it was a terrible feeling.

 

* * *

 

Late Friday afternoon, I got another text from Ellen.

From: Ellen  
_Don’t let him out of your sight tonight._

That wasn’t ominous at all.

Last night was a bit worse than Wednesday had been. There wasn’t any cloud cover, so Robert stayed transformed the entire evening. He hadn’t had much luck paying attention to TV as we spent the night secluded in his house and looked inattentive whenever I glanced at him. About a fourth of the time when I spoke to him, it went over his head and he had to ask me to repeat myself. With his enhanced hearing, it had to be from the distraction of… whatever ‘the wolf’ did as the full moon approached.

I had no idea what to expect tonight.

Moonrise would happen slightly before six. I had everything ready – or as ready as I thought it could be. I had entertainment, food, comfortable pillows and blankets, myself… hopefully that would be enough.

Robert arrived not long before six, greeting me with a warm hug. I noticed he opted for loose clothing tonight – a dark blue T shirt and soft pants.

“Hey,” I said, leaning into him as I hugged back. “How are you?”

Robert pulled away and looked in my eyes. “Could be better. I’m not as worried as I was two days ago, so…”

If we didn’t have a repeat of him fleeing into the woods and coming home covered in mud and blood, I’d chalk it up as a win.

“Um… what do you want to do tonight?”

Robert searched my face in thought. “I don’t know. Everyone suggested physical contact. I brought some of my favorite movies, but…”

I nodded to encourage him. “But…?”

“Their thoughts on whether movies would help was pretty evenly split.”

“Put one on anyway, fuck it.”

Robert put _Ossessione_ in the DVD player and sat on the couch. “Just, start it after I change, I guess.”

We sat in awkward silence. I both dreaded and anticipated the change; Robert could beat it, I knew deep in my heart, and I wanted him to see for himself, but if I were proven wrong… who knows how much of a blow it’d be to his mental state.

I glanced at the clock; two minutes to estimated moonrise.

“Maybe you could just… lock me in the closet,” Robert said shakily, as the clock ticked inexorably closer toward impending moonrise.

I stared, aghast, as he nervously took a deep drag on an e-cig. “No! I would never lock you up.”

“But I…” He wrung his hands and his eyes darted over my face in panic. “What if I try to hurt you?”

“Honey, this is about beating it, not just containing it. I’m not gonna let you go without learning to control it, okay?”

“But I’m scared,” he whispered, his eyes wide in terror.

“You can do this, you—”

Robert interrupted me by groaning loudly and doubling over with his head in his hands. He shuddered and I watched claws form and ears grow pointy, various bones cracking as if he were getting a spinal adjustment. I laid a hand on his back and gently rubbed as he fell to his knees, almost smacking his head on the coffee table.

“Uh… um, it’s – it’s okay,” I said. Robert huffed and heaved in breaths so quickly I was afraid he’d hyperventilate. I knelt next to him and picked up his left hand as I stroked his neck, and his breathing calmed near instantly. “I’m right here.”

Robert slumped against me and buried his face in my chest, where his warm breath poured in through my shirt collar. I reached for the e-cig on the table where he’d dropped it and held it up for him to take a deep drag. We cuddled up on the floor, my back against the couch, and I watched him blow out big clouds of vapor.

I let him smoke for a bit, since it’d probably help him calm down. One of his ears poked my chin and I patted his bicep to get his attention. “Let’s… start that movie, shall we?” _Ossessione_ awaited, the main menu still silently beckoning me on the TV. I hit _play_ and helped Robert onto the couch – maybe more like suggested he get on the couch via various movements.

I wasn’t sure what would help the most, so I lay down on him, my face in the hollow of his throat. He worked his arms into my shirt and the hair tickled my back. It seemed like he wanted skin against skin, so I wrestled my arms under him and nestled into my hairy boyfriend for some tender cuddling.

But _Ossessione_ wasn’t the same without him providing commentary. Robert didn't say or do much of anything other than hug me. It was a little concerning. During a lull in activity in the movie, I sat up and grabbed my phone. Robert sat up with me, and I looked him in his glowing eyes, only to see a haunted and blank expression.

“You okay?”

Nothing. Although the fangs poking out from his lips was a little cute.

“Hello?” I asked, waving a hand in front of him. I typed up a text to Ellen when he didn’t react.

To: Ellen  
_Robert is just staring through me like I’m not here. Like he’s in shock. Is that bad?_

From: Ellen  
_It’s not good but it’s not bad. It sounds like he’s keeping it at bay but doesn’t have much left over.  
What are you doing to ground him?_

To: Ellen  
_Holding him. We were watching a movie but I don’t know if it’s helping._

From: Unknown Sender  
_This is Tohru. Try talking to him. It probably doesn’t matter what you talk about_

Oh, maybe they’re all together right now. I kind of wished I had a group chat with them, but I could never stand being added to one myself.

To: Tohru  
_Okay._

From: Tohru  
_Jackson’s phone is dead but he says he found talking about feelings helped when he had a girlfriend who knew._

From: Ellen  
_Right now it matters more that he gets used to it, he’ll learn to resist it soon_

Couldn’t really go wrong with sharing feelings, considering how much he liked doing so these days.

“Rob?” He didn’t look at me. “I know you aren’t having the easiest time fighting this, but… I’m so proud of you.” I hugged him against my side and nuzzled the top of his head. He held on a bit tighter. “I’m glad you’re here with me instead of running in the woods. It’ll be okay, just focus on me.”

Robert’s behavior reminded me of a friend I had in college who had a nasty acid trip. From what his sister told me about it, he’d looked listless and distant – which made perfect sense, since he _was._ From what _he_ told me… everything looked like a nightmarish monster ready to feed on him and he had to stay glued to his sister’s side all evening to get through it. His sister wasn’t enthused at all, but at least Robert was affectionate.

“I love you,” I murmured, and he relaxed, molding against me as some tension left him. I planted a kiss on his forehead and furrowed my brow in confusion when I got a close look at his scalp. “Are you dyeing your hair?” There was still some gray near the ends, but otherwise it looked like it was growing in brown again.

“Nnnnnnno,” he forced out. Well, there’s some progress.

“I think turning got rid of your gray hair.” I cupped his jaw and looked at his beard, his glowing eyes blank; I couldn’t believe I hadn’t noticed, but the handsome flecks of gray were entirely gone. “I’m gonna miss that. It made you look much more distinguished than you already are.”

He didn’t even smile. If it weren’t for him choking out a reply, I’d still think he couldn’t hear me.

“Are you hungry? I was gonna make steak for dinner. I could put salt and pepper on it, or something spicier, or maybe…”

Robert listlessly stared through me. It was a bit unnerving. I stood and walked him to the kitchen, careful not to trip over him as he shuffled. He clung to my arm like a scared child every step.

“Barbecue sauce?” I suggested as I awkwardly ripped open the shrink-wrapped steaks with my free hand.

Nothing.

“Baked? Steak rub? Anything?” Out of pure curiosity, I handed him one of the raw steaks and watched in fascination as he absentmindedly ripped a piece off with his teeth and chewed it without taking his eyes off the wall. “Uh… that works, I guess. I’ll just… bake one with barbecue sauce for me.”

Preparing dinner with one hand proved futile. I turned my head to look at Robert and waved a hand in front of him. “Can you hug me from behind? You’re kinda holding my arm hostage,” I said, adding a chuckle at the end.

Robert slowly let my hand out of his death grip and curled his arms around my belly with his jaw rubbing against my neck. That’d have to do. It was a nice feeling, though.

“You’re doing great, honey, keep it up.”

He hugged me a bit tighter.

 

* * *

 

After a disappointingly tough steak dinner and another movie, I began yawning, but would Robert want to sleep? _Could_ he sleep?

“I’m getting tired. Are you ready to settle in for the night?”

Robert turned to look at me and wordlessly shrugged. At least he seemed more responsive now.

“Is it getting easier?”

“A bit,” Robert slurred.

I curled a hand around his shoulder and guided him to the bathroom, where we had to take turns awkwardly using the toilet while holding hands. If I let go – even momentarily – who knows what would happen?

In my bedroom, I stared at the wardrobe and wondered what I should – or shouldn’t – wear.

_Some people cuddle, some make love…_

I recalled Robert saying he needed to kill, fight, or fuck something into submission the night he turned, and it made me nervous about sleeping naked with him, so I dressed in pajama pants and handed him some of mine. He was cognizant enough to put his feet in them by himself, which was a major improvement. Still had to pull them up myself…

I sat up against the headboard, and Robert nestled his face in my chest with his arms around me in a tender hug. He was so warm and cuddly I couldn’t resist laying my head against his and stroking his back.

“This takes me back,” I said idly.

“What does?”

“Laying together like this.” I cradled him against my chest, and he breathed me in as I held him. “Seems like yesterday we were just getting to know each other.”

Robert shifted and curled around me tighter. “It made me so happy to finally go on a date with you… hadn’t cared for someone in so long.”

He turned onto his side, and I had to recline to preserve our position.

In the intimate silence of holding my boyfriend, a thought came to mind. “Hey. You know… the last few times we made love, I felt a weird warmth in my heart that I hadn’t before.”

Several moments of silence passed. Maybe he hadn’t heard me or something.

“Rob? Did you—”

“Did it feel… golden?”

If I had to put a word to it, golden was somehow right, even though it sounded ridiculous. It wasn’t just a feeling of warmth, it was an almost indescribable joy that resonated in me, that made me feel right when we were together, when Robert held me or kissed me, or when we made love. It made _Robert_ feel right.

“Yeah. Yeah, I think so.”

“I felt it, too,” Robert whispered.

Robert buried his face more fully in my chest hair, and I lovingly stroked down his back, sometimes leaving a kiss to his forehead. After a few minutes of lazing, I nodded in and out of awareness.

“Are you still awake?” I whispered. His back slowly rose and fell under my hands. “Hello?”

Guess not. Still, better to sleep through a full moon than do anything the wolf might demand.

 

* * *

 

I woke in the dead of night to moonlight filtering in through a gap in the drapes. It painted Robert’s bare back in a thin strip of light where the blanket had fallen. He hadn’t moved from where his face was in my chest. I laid my head against his and smelled his messy hair; he smelled like a lumberjack again. I still didn’t know how I knew that.

The moonlight made the hair on him stick out, but it also made me think of how powerless he must feel because of all of this. While it looked like he could control his urges, somewhat, he still couldn’t control the transformation. Something as beautiful as the full moon must be the bane of his existence right now.

I carefully reached for my phone and squinted before I unlocked it, lest it blind me. It was half past three, and there was a message from Ellen from around midnight.

From: Ellen  
_Everything going okay?_

Robert seemed to be out cold and resting peacefully, hugging me close like a big teddy bear with his fingers gently splayed against my back, claws be damned.

To: Ellen  
_He’s sound asleep right now and has been for a while._

I idly checked my email, half hoping for a reply from Ellen while I left my phone unlocked. A few minutes passed before I wrote another.

To: Ellen  
_Do I need to do anything?_

From: Ellen  
_If he’s asleep, probably not._  
You didn’t wake me by the way :)  
Is it a restful sleep?

To: Ellen  
_Sure looks like it. He barely moved since we laid down_

From: Ellen  
_Just hold him, then._  
If he can sleep that soundly, it probably trusts you  
When man and inner beast are in harmony, then he’ll know peace

To: Ellen  
_Okay_

I wasn’t sure what to say to something so poetic and cryptic all at once. I set my phone back down on the nightstand and shifted a bit under Robert so I could comfortably drape my arms over him. It bode well that Robert could ‘know peace’ by virtue of me being with him. The night had been overall uneventful, and though I’d rather uneventful than stressful, maybe someday the full moon could just be another day to us.

With better control, though, came other things. Maybe he could make love to me under the next full moon. Maybe it’d bring us even closer.

The slow, even heaves of Robert’s back under my fingers was encouraging.

 

* * *

 

_The mall had a huge clearance sale on books, in the food court going on. Piles of textbooks, colorful fiction, thin children’s books, risqué romance novels bound in dark covers – everything must go. Someone had shelves of hot pizza in a food stall, and a few kids wandered around with balloons in tow._

_“Did you see this one?” asked an old college friend I hadn’t seen in years. He didn’t look a day older than twenty-two._

_The book he had was a dark red book about cooking with wheatgrass. It sounded awful._

_“Wheatgrass? Sounds kind of weird.”_

_“What?” He spun it to read the cover and faced it toward me again. “This is a taco recipe book.”_

_The cover had tacos on it now—_

A loud thud startled me awake and an icy chill gripped my hammering heart. I reflexively clung to Robert, still laying on top of me. Maybe it was something hitting the window, like a bird, or the newspaper, or…

“Urgh,” Robert groaned. “Why’re you squeezing so tight?” he murmured.

“Uh… something hit the window and scared me.”

Robert buried his face in my neck. “You smell nice,” he said sleepily, then he laid a few tender kisses all over my shoulder and neck, leaving a lick on my Adam’s apple. Moonset must have happened, because his skin was bare again.

“How’d you sleep?”

Robert nuzzled my neck and shifted so he could card his fingers through my hair, and his morning wood and nut sack nestled comfortably with mine. “Like a baby. I wanna hold you for a while,” he said, and I didn’t refuse, even though he’d been holding me all night.

Robert’s slow heartbeat against my chest and his warm skin under my hands was soothing and grounding, the silence intimate in a way last night’s wasn’t. The warmth in my chest was equally calming, the strange noise that woke me a thing of the past. Though I wanted to tell him how I felt for him, I didn’t feel particularly urged to do so. More like I knew he knew, and that was enough for now.

His big manhood against mine made for a strong temptation. I didn’t care what we did with our dicks, whether it be fun, tender, or both. Robert’s grip loosened, and his body draped over mine felt heavy again. I continued my gentle stroking down his back, but it seemed like he fell asleep again.

No matter; I was perfectly content cradling him in my arms all morning. He beat it – he beat the full moon – and that was a big victory for him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please see end of chapter notes for a notice of potentially triggering content. Do be advised this notice is a spoiler.

With November came colder weather, but with Thanksgiving came warmer hearts. It was a bit colder and lonelier this year, though – this was my first Thanksgiving without my daughter living at home. We used to love planning what to make together… every year we came up with a different menu – sometimes wildly different – but she was too busy with college to even call right now.

Friday nights were often movie night, but that trend had been interrupted in recent weeks. Tonight, Robert was off meeting with his werewolf friends. As I sat on the couch watching TV, waiting for him to come back, I glanced at the clock and saw that it was almost eight. Robert liked to start movies by seven; maybe it just wasn’t in the cards tonight.

When I heard his truck rumble into the cul de sac, I suppressed my excitement and turned in my seat to watch him park, the headlamps on his truck the only source of light in the street until they shut off and plunged it into darkness again.

I’d already made dinner, so I boxed up some pasta Alfredo for him. One chilly, thirty second walk later, I rapped on the door a few times. Betsy barked from within, but Robert didn’t answer. He wasn’t in view when I peered in the window, so I unlocked the door and stepped into warmth again.

The lights were low, and I had to flip a few switches up, upon which I saw Betsy walking around my feet, and Robert in a lazy heap on the couch.

“Hey,” I said, opting for casual, as I bent over to scratch behind Betsy’s neck and maybe make her stop pawing my leg.

Robert, sitting on his couch with his shoulders hunched, wouldn’t meet my eyes. The shadows on his face exaggerated how tired he looked.

“Hey,” he murmured half-heartedly.

I closed the gap between us and sat down at his side, laying a hand on his thigh. “I missed you,” I said, curling my lips up in a smile.

Robert finally glanced up and looked at me, briefly showing a small smile before his mood dashed it again and he slumped over, bracing his weight on his thighs.

“What’s got you looking so down?” I asked. His demeanor was a little alarming; it had been awhile since something made Robert look so downcast. Whatever it was couldn’t be small or simple.

“Oh, you know… it’s dark all the time.” He flung a hand toward the big windows behind us. “Just got me feeling a little blue.”

“Bullshit, you used to be a night owl, and you were fine.” Robert shot an annoyed glare. “Okay, maybe you weren’t ‘fine,’ per se, but…”

Several moments of dead silence passed, every second of which I willed away the urge to fill it. I passed it by setting down his dinner, and not much else.

“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” I said quietly, scooting closer and pressing against him, laying a hand on his side. “I just want to be here for you.”

Robert finally let out a sigh and rubbed his face with his hands. His beard rasped against his fingernails. “I would want to be there for you, too…” He finally met my eyes, and in his I saw a pained dejection. “Okay.”

I watched Robert ready an e-cig and take a deep drag on it. He let it out through his nose in a slow exhale as I impatiently waited, resisting the urge to bounce my leg just to expend some nervous energy.

“Today in my support group, I suppose you could call it… we talked about – _they_ talked about past lovers.”

“Yeah?”

Robert took another drag and puffed it out right away. He laid a hand on my shoulder, the touch warm and welcome. “It wasn’t very easy to listen to, all of them talk so wistfully about the past…”

I stared at Robert, my brow stitched in confusion. “I’m not sure I understand. Is this a bit?”

“No, I—” Robert rubbed his face again and covered his eyes with a palm. “It made me think about… losing you.”

“Losing me?” I kind of wanted to laugh, as if it’d make him laugh, too, and think it a ridiculous notion, but he wasn’t in a laughing mood. “Rob, I wanna spend my life with you, I’m not going anywhere—”

“I mean to old age, Matt,” he snapped, startling Betsy and me alike. She ran off with a whimper, and I kept my hands where they were. Robert gingerly set the e-cig down on the table and turned to look down at my hand on his thigh, rather than my face. “I’m sorry… it hasn’t been a great night. I shouldn’t be yelling.”

“It’s okay,” I said, and he shook his head.

“No, it isn’t. I love you, and you’re trying to be here for me. It just – Ellen talked about some guy she banged in the seventies – the _eighteen_ -seventies. He’s been dead for over a century. She’s almost two _hundred_ years old.” Robert threw his hands up in a helpless shrug. “God knows how long _I’ll_ live.”

A horrid chill hung in my chest. “It never even crossed my mind.”

“I’ve been so preoccupied with everything else going on that I didn’t either…” Robert let out a heavy sigh and cradled his head in his hands. “I just… don’t know.”

“Well, um…” I began awkwardly. Nothing that came to mind sounded good. Moment after moment of uncomfortable silence passed where he refused to look at me until I could hardly stand it. “What’s going through your mind?”

“Like…” Robert dragged his hands down his face. “Fuck, man. Everyone’s eventually gonna leave me,” he said, sounding tiny as he finally met my eyes with a frown of despair. “At least before, there was the solace of knowing you aren’t far behind your friends and family…”

What a morbid way of looking at it…

“I don’t really know what to say,” I murmured with a shrug. “It really doesn’t feel good knowing you’re so unhappy and I can’t fix it…”

Robert’s sadness stained everything about him, from his posture making him look like a doll hanging helplessly from strings, to the flat expression he wore. Even his clothes looked drab, somehow. “I feel so… powerless. I’m going to stop aging while everyone around me withers and dies…”

I felt cold and empty as I listened to Robert. I didn’t want him to be alone, ever.

“What if…” he started. He slowly looked up and met my eyes, a glimmer of hope coloring him again. “What if I bite you?”

An eyebrow shot up involuntarily. I wasn’t sure I heard that right. “Bite me?”

 _“Bite_ you, under a full moon to turn you.”

This conversation was turning into a volatile emotional rollercoaster, and I had no idea where it’d go next. “Turn me into a werewolf?”

“We could—could spend our lives together,” he began, waving his hands around for meaningless emphasis. “You and me, together, and – and – and—” He paused and, when I didn’t say anything, his sudden enthusiasm died and his smile quickly turned. “You don’t… want to, do you? Or do you?”

“What? Whoa,” I started. “I didn’t say no, I just – that’s not something you make a snap decision on.”

“No, you’re right. It…” Robert looked down at the succulents on the table. “It’s not something to take lightly. And it’s not like the full moon is tonight.”

Life as a werewolf… there were so many facets of it that I couldn’t begin to fathom them all.

“It’s a really selfish thing to ask,” Robert said quietly.

“Asking to bite me?”

He nodded solemnly. “Asking to be with you basically forever. It’s too early in our relationship to ask for that.” Robert picked up his e-cig again, but chuckled darkly before he could take a drag. “Maybe there’s never a good time to ask for that.”

Asking to be with someone forever would normally be the epitome of romantic, but given the circumstances, it fell short. I looked Robert in the eyes and catalogued the various emotions I saw. He looked pained and pleading, locking his sad eyes with mine; this was a desperate man who wanted some semblance of relief from fated loneliness. How could I blame him for wanting a lifelong partner? That’s what I wanted, too.

“I don’t think it’s selfish.”

“You don’t…?”

“No one _wants_ to be lonely. So… I’ll think about it. _Carefully,”_ I added. “I want to give the decision the deliberation it needs, and I want to give you the consideration you deserve.”

“Okay,” he croaked.

I curled tight around him and cuddled up close. He let out a big cloud of vapor with a loud exhale and leaned against me.

“All this shit going on is making it really hard to resist drinking…”

I rubbed my jaw against his neck, and he nuzzled back. “How are you managing?”

“My medication still works fine. It sucks not being able to talk to Dr. Taft about any of this.” He paused and I stroked his side. “I don’t know how anyone would react to it.”

“What do you tell him?”

“I lie and say it’s money, or health problems. My story is falling apart, though.”

When I leaned my head against his, he turned to smell my neck. “You want help fixing the story?”

“I don’t know,” Robert said, then let out a frustrated growl. “I’ve been thinking about just fucking telling him the truth. I feel bad about lying and wasting his time.”

“You want me there for it?”

“Hmm,” he hummed. “Maybe…”

What a thing to tell a counselor. “Well, if you decide to tell him, let me know, ‘kay?”

“Okay. Right now I just want to hold you.”

I turned to face him and hug him close. He buried his face to find solace in the hollow of my throat and stroked a hand up and down my back. “Remember, Rob, it’ll be okay. Just do what you can, and I’ll be here.”

“I’ll be here, too, if – if you ever need it.”

“I know, and it means the world to me. Right now, just focus on yourself.”

After a while of holding each other, he released me and I pushed the plastic container with his dinner into his hands. _“Eat._ You’ll feel better.”

“Okay, _mom,”_ he said with a fake sneer.

“Do you wanna watch a movie tonight?”

“Yeah,” Robert said while chewing some Alfredo. “I haven’t thought about it at all today. So I gotta pick something out.”

Once he finished eating, he began scrutinizing his collection of movies. Although his mood seemed better once he was in his element, my attention was hindered by his proposition. All through the movie, and the credits, and as I lay curled around him from behind in bed, the offer of turning me hung in the back of my mind.

 

* * *

 

Whenever I wasn’t overly preoccupied with one thing or another, my mind turned back to Robert’s offer.

 _Immortality._ In a way, he was offering immortality, insofar as we could comprehend it, and along with it came a slew of issues.

The logistics of immortality – of being a werewolf – boggled me. How would I learn to control it? Who would I tell, if anyone? Amanda? How would I tell her? It couldn’t be as simple as saying ‘ _Amanda, I’m a werewolf’_ over Christmas dinner.

The more I thought about it, the more appealing not telling anyone seemed. Sharing such a dangerous secret never ended well. Even texting Robert about it felt off limits since it was so hard to tell how much or how little surveillance went on in our daily lives. His friends certainly never explicitly mentioned it while texting me.

Despite my best efforts, even while helping customers I couldn’t not think about it. If Robert stopped aging, and _I_ stopped aging, then… Amanda would keep getting older, and I have no idea how I’d explain staying the same while her hair grayed and her skin wrinkled. How would I explain it to any grandchildren she brought into the world, if she wanted any? Would I even get to meet them? Would I have to cut them out of my life for our protection?

What about my physician, or my orthopedist, or any other medical professional? The customer asking for a refund on a speaker set went unanswered for a few moments as I gazed listlessly at the computer screen, wondering if I’d even need a doctor at all if I turned.

If turning repaired everything wrong or decayed in Robert’s body – drug dependency issues aside – then maybe it’d repair my bad knee, or my lower back pain, or the kink in my neck that sometimes showed up if I slept on it at a weird angle. Maybe I wouldn’t get winded from going up a flight of stairs or jogging to the gym. Maybe I could make love to Robert a bit more vigorously like he sometimes wanted – and for longer, too.

“God,” I murmured to myself as I rubbed my temples, staring at the customer chat window, where she was asking for an update.

 _Sorry, it’s taking a bit for the system to load the order info,_ I fibbed to her.

There were too many maybes involved in this.

 

* * *

 

Thanksgiving was approaching, both faster and slower than I wanted. One week until I got to see Amanda and Val again, and all four of us could sit down for our first holiday dinner as a family.

One week and I still didn’t have a full cooking list. Amanda texted that she wanted cornbread casserole, and Val already got back to me to say that if there were candied sweet potatoes to count her in. I had a cranberry apple crisp and a pumpkin pie planned, but I had no idea what Robert wanted.

It was late in the afternoon, late enough that the sun had set. Robert should be back soon, but I gave him a call anyway to ask. As soon as I dialed the number, the polite recorded voice said the number dialed was unavailable.

“What the hell?” I muttered to myself, just to fill the dead air that was all too noticeable since Amanda moved out. The battery must have died, or something.

I kept searching online, paging through dozens of thanksgiving recipes, recipe ideas, and videos, until my phone rang. The number wasn’t one I recognized, though it was at least in my area code.

I fumbled for it before the caller could hang up and answered with it cradled between my shoulder and ear while I glossed over another cranberry sauce recipe. “Hello?”

_“Matt, hi, uh… it’s Robert. I need some help, I got in a car accident.”_

I heard the phone clatter to the desk as the sound of Amanda crying that fateful night came rushing back to me.

_“I’m sorry, sir,” the officer clad in dark blue said, with a grim frown. “Your partner, Alex, died in a car crash earlier today.”_

_I stared in stunned silence for a moment as my stomach dropped. “What? No… no, you must have the wrong Alex, the—the wrong house.”_

_“I don’t have the wrong house, sir. I wish I didn’t have to tell you this…”_

_His partner stood behind him and to the side, hands clasped in front of him, and my mind cruelly supplied a vision of him as a pallbearer, Alex’s body in a casket beside him._

_“But—” I sobbed. “But I talked to him two hours ago!”_

I came to when I heard a tinny voice call my name.

_“Matt? Matt!”_

The phone had landed facedown on my keyboard, typing what looked like a hundred lowercase B’s into the address bar. I picked it up, tears clouding my vision, and put it to my ear again. “W—what?”

_“Did something happen? I heard this loud thud, and—”_

“I dropped my phone, sorry. What happened?”

 _“I’m okay.”_ He paused for a moment. _“Can I explain later? I need a pick-up downtown. My truck is totaled, and the paramedics keep trying to convince me to go to the hospital.”_

I wiped some tears from my eyes before they blurred my sight too badly. “Yeah, I’ll – where are you?”

_“On the corner of Main and Occidental.”_

“I’ll be right there,” I huffed out.

 _“Drive safe,”_ Robert said.

“Okay.”

My heart raced as I stumbled toward the front door and clumsily stuffed my feet in my shoes—smack! My vision swam as my forehead collided with the door jamb.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake…”

In my haste to walk out the front door while trying to grab my keys in one fluid motion, I hadn’t paid attention to where I was going. That’s what I got for not looking.

I drove downtown five under the speed limit, constantly sniffling and wiping water from my face. Traffic was horrendously congested, and I had to take a few detours. When I saw the sign for Main Street and turned left toward Occidental, I braced for whatever disaster I might see. There were cops cordoning the street off, and I had to park and rush past them on foot.

In the middle of the intersection was Robert’s truck and a blue SUV, both smashed to pieces from a head-on collision with the driver’s side. Smoke still rose from the devastated engine block of the SUV, and twisted red metal had shorn off Robert’s truck, a massive indent where the SUV’s impact deformed its structure beyond repair. The driver’s door, bent in half, squeaked loudly on a single hinge as it swung back and forth in a breeze.

My hands shook and I couldn’t draw air as I took step after leaden step toward the wreck until glass shards crunched under my shoes, I was so close.

“Matt!” someone yelled to my right, breaking the absolute silence. I turned so fast I felt mildly dizzy, and there in front of me next to an ambulance, stood Robert with crusted blood all over his face. I felt like I flew toward him, nearly tackling instead of hugging him. “Whoa,” he said, the air punched out of his chest.

With tears flowing down my face, I clutched tight and firmly kissed him. A disgusting, ferrous taste of blood on his tongue was overwhelming, but I didn’t care. He hugged me back and I released his lips, only to bury my face in his chest and let out an inhuman noise as I gasped for air.

“I’m okay, I’m okay,” he said as he patted my back, repeating it over and over like a litany.

I let him hold me as I choked on sobs, holding him as tight as I could just to reassure myself that he was okay, and to calm my racing heart.

“You’re hurting me,” he wheezed. I loosened my grip and had to wipe my face off after a few moments of loudly crying.

“Sir,” said someone in front of me. I opened my eyes and saw one of the paramedics staring with an eyebrow cocked. “I don’t want to intrude, but this is your last offer to go to the hospital.”

I looked Robert in the eyes, the first good look at him I had since I arrived. Dry blood caked his face, lots of which having been obviously scraped away with his fingers, and his hair was a mess, but there wasn’t any sign of injury. No bruises, no cuts; nothing at all.

“Don’t you think you should go?” I said in an embarrassing, quiet squeak.

“I really don’t want to,” he whispered. “But…”

“I’m so scared,” I said in a raspy wheeze. “I would feel a lot better if you did.”

Robert turned to face the paramedic as much as he could without letting go of me. “I’ll get a ride from my partner; ambulance rides are way too expensive.”

The paramedic drew something on his tablet and shrugged. “Have a good evening, and good luck.”

As two tow trucks entered the intersection to clean up the debris, I took Robert’s hand and wordlessly led him down the street toward my car. My legs felt wobbly, or maybe more like they weren’t mine or I was on autopilot.

“Let’s go to an urgent care clinic instead, the nice one with the MRI and X-Ray machine –you’re doing it again,” Robert said.

I turned to look at him, but he stared down at our hands; I’d unconsciously gripped him hard enough to hurt him. “Sorry…”

When I took the wheel, I watched to make sure Robert buckled in before starting the car. After the most careful K-turn of my life, I broke the silence. “What happened?”

“Uh… um…” Robert started. I heard rather than saw him scratch his beard. “I was driving down Main, right. That’s obvious.” I dared not take my eyes off the road. “I don't really remember what happened, eyewitnesses said some guy going fifty or something T-boned me. I woke up with blood all over me and my leg mangled between the door and something from… I don’t know, the door frame? The dashboard?”

I gripped the steering wheel tight and drove as carefully as I could. My chest felt cold as ice and I bit my lip to hold back tears.

“I don’t know, it’s all a blur. I apparently got the door open somehow, then my leg healed—are you okay?”

“What? Yeah,” I croaked. I really wasn’t.

“You look like you’re gonna pass out.”

At a stoplight, I turned to look at Robert, his brow raised and eyes wide in concern. My face felt wet and my nose was runny beyond belief, but I had to keep driving.

“I’ll be fine. Keep – keep telling your story.”

“I’m not sure I want to,” he murmured. He let out a sigh, and I pulled into the intersection, looking left and right as I did – just to be sure. “I would have called earlier but…” He held up half of a smartphone in the edge of my vision, some of the circuits sticking out of the metal case and shattered glass. “Dunno where the other half went. My arm _really_ hurts, like my leg. Maybe I broke a bone, but I don’t think it’s still busted…”

I took a shaky, wet inhale. “Do you think you – maybe you…?”

I wasn’t sure how to put the terrible dread churning in my gut to words, but Robert didn’t say anything. The rest of the ride to the urgent care clinic passed in silence, and when we arrived, I couldn’t bring myself to get up while Robert got out and rounded the car. He opened my door and crouched next to me while I messily wiped my face off on a sleeve.

“Matt,” he started, low and soothing. “I need you to be strong and come in with me. Please.”

It was mortifying how he had to talk to me like that to get through to me. I nodded and undid my seat belt. “Okay,” I huffed out.

Robert took my hand and led me in to the clean, brightly lit lobby of the urgent care clinic. The two women working the circular front desk gaped for a moment, probably at Robert’s bloody face, but schooled their expressions quickly enough. The lady nearest us – a redhead with ‘Denise’ on her name tag – started gathering papers on a clipboard.

“What can we do for you this evening?” Denise asked.

“I got in a car crash and need an exam,” Robert said flatly.

Denise slid the clipboard toward him on the desk. “Do you need to go back immediately, or can you fill this out?”

Robert gingerly exchanged his insurance card for the paperwork with his free hand. “I can manage.”

“And you?” Denise asked me.

Robert answered for me. “My partner wasn’t in the accident, he’s just really upset about it,” he said. “He’ll be okay eventually.”

Denise looked like she wanted to say something but held her tongue. Maybe it was some meaningless platitude that Robert would be okay. Maybe I shouldn’t be reading into it – or passing judgment.

I took in the room while Robert filled out the papers; a TV quietly broadcast a house hunting show, and some powder blue posters on the wall boasted about how this clinic had a magnetic resonance imaging and X-ray machine. The chairs were comfortable, at least, but it smelled too sterile or filtered. There weren’t any other customers.

Given the reprieve, I finally got to actually look at Robert. Not only was there clearly blood all over his face, but it was all over his white shirt, too, giving me serious doubt it’d ever wash clean. There was some on his jeans, and his left pant leg was soaked dark red. But… he walked away from the accident, so his leg must be fine.

I bit back a whimper and a frown, and Robert looked up to meet my eyes with a concerned furrow in his brow. Before he could finish his paperwork, someone opened the door into the back.

“Are you the car crash patient?” a short East Asian woman said.

Robert glanced toward her in surprise.

“Please bring the paperwork, you can fill it out while we get started.”

I looked to my side, and Robert shrugged. He let go of my hand, having carefully balanced the clipboard the whole time to write one-handed, and stood to briskly walk toward the woman.

“Please be okay…” I whispered.

Robert paused for a brief moment, then he disappeared into the hallway behind the woman.

 

* * *

 

The house hunting program barely passed the time and my stomach began growling when anxiety stopped suppressing my appetite.

By the end of the first hour I hoped to never see a suspiciously rich couple on TV ever again. Who could possibly have a budget of a million dollars when the husband worked as an air conditioning installer and the wife sold her crocheted items as a hobby? And all of them were conventionally attractive straight couples. Give me a nice lesbian couple or a gay pair, for once.

Almost two hours in, my stomach felt like it was dissolving itself for sustenance. A few more customers had come and gone. Every time someone other than Robert left the back room was agony.

When the door loudly ratcheted and he finally stepped out from the exam rooms, I stood and started toward him, and he opened his arms to give me a hug and a kiss to the cheek.

“I’m okay,” he whispered in my ear.

By then I’d cried everything I could, so I just buried my face in his neck.

“Nothing’s wrong. I’m okay. Not even a hairline fracture.”

A different woman than the one who’d attended to him followed him out. “You have that prescription if you need it, and if anything seems off, don’t hesitate to call or come back.”

“Thanks.”

Robert led me outside again and I vaguely registered the secretaries and doctor saying good night while it sunk in that he was okay.

 

* * *

 

The drive home was a perilous, nerve-wracking journey from one of the busier parts of downtown, through bumper-to-bumper gridlock where everyone felt like they had the right of way. Every sudden lane change made my heart skip a beat in fear, every car approaching from behind and stopping too close for comfort made me brace for impact.

“Matt,” Robert said, while we were at a stoplight.

The sudden break of silence startled me, and I jumped in my seat and pumped the brakes hard by accident. “Y-yes?”

“Can we pick up something to eat?” he said, sounding exhausted, as if just saying it were a burden unto itself.

“Of course. What do you want?”

“I don’t really care what it is. Actually… can we get burgers?” He pointed toward a burger chain coming up on the right side of the street. I signaled to change lanes and pulled in behind a few cars.

In the drive thru, Robert leaned half over me to talk at the ordering microphone.

“Hi, can I get… two bacon burgers, onion rings, and fries?” He sounded a bit flat and unfeeling.

“Rob, that’s a _lot_ of food,” I murmured.

“I’ll cover it,” he said. “What do you want?”

The attendant working the microphone responded after a moment. “Will that be all?” he asked through the crackly speaker.

“Um… can I get a bacon cheeseburger? And sweet potato fries,” I said.

“Thirty-two fifty at the first window, please.”

“Jeez…”

I slowly drove forward without questioning Robert. He handed me a twenty to cover his food, and after a few minutes of waiting after paying, an exhausted-looking teenager handed us our bags of food. He hadn’t even finished wishing us a good evening before Robert unwrapped a burger and took an enormous bite.

I expected to drive home listening to crinkling paper and fries shifting in their box without interruption, but… after that first bite it sounded like he picked at what he’d ordered instead. Like he had no appetite at all. For someone who wanted two burgers and two sides, it was a bit concerning.

I’d never felt more relieved to pull into my driveway and stand on terra firma, though that had more to do with Robert being here, safe and sound. When I glanced at him, he just sat in the passenger seat, staring at nothing until I waved a hand in front of him. He slowly turned to look at me with a blank expression.

“Um… feeling better after eating?”

“Not really,” Robert mumbled. His impassive gaze was a little unnerving. “Everything just aches.”

“Do you want to come in, or go to your house, or… go be alone, maybe?” I supplied.

He tried to get out of the car, but strained against the seat belt still buckling him in. With a weary glare, he unbuckled and got out to move toward the front door as if he had leaden shoes and let all his weight down on the couch after he unlocked my house.

The coffee table creaked under me when I sat on it across from him, the bags of food places at my side. I locked eyes with him and took his hands between mine. “Are you okay?”

Robert only really reacted by flitting his eyes up to meet mine. “Are you?”

I barely even had the energy to sigh. “No.”

“It’s finally hitting me that my truck is destroyed, and all the shit I’ll have to deal with because of it.” Robert pulled his hands out from between mine to bury his face in them. “God, I have to deal with insurance and go the junkyard, and…”

“Hey, don’t think about that right now.” I sat down next to him and he curled an arm around my side. “Let’s just… sit, alright? Let’s count our blessings, like… how you walked away from the accident.”

Robert took out an E-cig and stared at it. “Yeah… at least there’s that.”

“Robert,” I said quietly.

He paused and looked me in the eyes, the E-cig still in hand.

“Are you okay?” I asked again.

His eyes wandered over my face, cataloguing my expression. “I’m _physically_ okay.”

“And… mentally?”

“I don’t know where to begin,” he said quietly, sounding lost more than anything. “I don’t feel like eating, or talking, I’m just… tired now.”

“What do you need?”

Robert turned on the E-cig and took a long drag, holding the vapor in for a few moments until it slowly seeped out his nose. “I think I just want to sleep.”

“Okay. Well… uh… my bed is made, if you want it?” I offered.

Robert furrowed his brow. “Are you not gonna sleep with me, or something?”

“No, that’s not— _yes,_ I’m gonna sleep with you, I don’t know what I was saying. Just…” I shrugged helplessly. “Making small talk I guess.”

“Honey,” he began.

I diverted my eyes, a slightly hot embarrassment blooming in my cheeks. “I know, it’s a bad habit.”

“That isn’t what—let’s just… go sleep. Too much has happened today.”

Robert smoked while I plodded to my bedroom, feeling like my limbs were made of stone as I lazily went about my bedtime routine. It had worsened by the time I stripped naked and fell onto my bed.

When Robert joined me after a brief shower, he sat on my bed, his eyes dimly glowing in the otherwise pitch-black room as a pair of golden rings. It reminded me of the Cheshire Cat, and would be more unnerving if I didn’t know it was just him. Or if I could see a disembodied grin.

He laid a hand on my back and traced it up my spine until he cupped my cheek and thumbed my jaw. We didn’t exchange any words as he lay down facing me, as he wrapped around me with his face buried in my chest. Every puff of breath on my bare skin and rise of his belly against my lap was a needed reminder that he was still among the living. His warm back under my hands helped ground me and kept me from snapping in half.

I drifted in and out of consciousness, never sleeping for too long, my mind creating fragments of dreams sometimes disturbing and others strange. Even though I couldn’t be sure if he actually slept, whenever I woke again, Robert hadn’t loosened his grasp on me.

 

* * *

 

The next day, after a long and frustrating talk with his insurance company, Robert drove me to the junkyard. I’d never been to one, and under better circumstances it might even be interesting. As it stood, when my car rumbled through the decrepit fence and he parked in the lot in front of the equally decrepit main office, I found that it wasn’t exactly a sight for sore eyes. The office looked like it had been made of corrugated metal sheets, or maybe that was just the aesthetic they wanted. Mission accomplished.

I waited outside while Robert spoke to one of the employees. It seemed darker here somehow, like the sun had a harder time piercing the cloud cover, and it smelled like gasoline. An unpleasantly chill breeze drove me back into my car.

After sleeping so poorly last night, I almost passed out in my seat, but Robert came back out and led me into the junkyard.

Rows of vehicles sat on big shelf-like racks made of rusty square poles, some stripped of every useful piece of metal, others still in the process, and yet others smashed thin and stacked like metal pancakes.

Robert paused long enough that I walked into him while I was distracted by a stack of what might have once been sedans.

“Whoa, watch out.”

“Sorry.” I stepped around him and saw why he stopped. His ruined truck sat on heavy metal beams above a station wagon that oxidation had turned into a brown and blue mess.

I watched him climb up the precarious makeshift ladder to hop in the wrecked driver’s side missing its door. I heard a strange noise coming from inside the truck until a loud crack of plastic echoed through the junkyard and Robert jumped back down, cradling the sticker-covered dashboard in his hands like a precious gift.

“This is all I wanted,” he said. “I sold the truck to the junkers, we can go home, now.”

 

* * *

 

The work we had to shove into one weekend was getting a bit overwhelming. After the junkyard, Robert bought a new cellphone. It was some new model I’ve heard of but couldn’t afford, with a screen that somehow looked like bright images were printed on it, rather than made of projected pixels like mine. It was very peculiar.

After that, we drove to buy a new car. Robert wanted to buy a truck again, so I took him to the biggest truck dealership in the city.

I could tell something was up, though. Whenever I stopped at a light and had a chance to look at him, he looked as if his mind were somewhere else, with a flat expression and distant gaze. On impulse, I reached over and gently stroked his scruffy jaw with the back of my hand. It was an odd angle, but whatever.

He turned to look vaguely in my direction, then up to meet my eyes. I forced a smile to try to cheer him up, then turned back just in time for the light to change.

When I pulled into the parking lot, all the trucks dwarfing my sedan made me feel inadequate. Robert’s interest piqued when I parked near some chunky trucks that looked more like blocks of metal than vehicles.

As I stepped outside, the crisp, cool air hit my face and the breeze chilled my nose until I couldn’t smell anything. The sun hanging in the sky made looking at anything shiny (that is, every single car on the lot) a bit painful.

Inside the dealership, someone with Mike on his name tag walked out from a cubicle and introduced himself before leading us around outside.

He showed us truck after truck, taking us past Toyotas, Hondas, and GMCs, talking up every one of them like it was the greatest truck on planet Earth. They couldn’t _all_ be that great at the same time.

The data sheets in their passenger windows had a fascinating breakdown of the safety information, like whether something had side airbags, forward collision warnings, or blind spot cameras.

“Honey?” I said as I pored over one truck’s sheet chock full of safety features. “This one looks good.”

Robert glanced at me, then at the data sheet, and stepped over to look. “What’s up?”

“Check out all this stuff it comes with.” I gestured toward the safety and driver assist features, and Robert’s expression fell as he read it.

“Uh… thanks, dear?” he said, and I wondered why he sounded so unenthused.

“But… this looks like a great buy,” I said, trailing off as Robert returned to Mike’s side.

I followed around half-heartedly, still glancing at data sheets of trucks that I passed, though I didn’t study them in detail, much less bring them up after that.

The disinterested tour around the car lot continued for another half hour. Every so often I caught Robert looking at me with some brow-furrowed expression that I didn’t feel like analyzing.

Robert perked up at the sight of something, walking past the car dealer toward a huge, red pickup with FORD molded into the front grille in massive block letters.

“Ah, the F one-fifty get your attention?” Mike asked.

It apparently did; Robert looked over every detail of it, while the dealer kept talking to him and I looked at the info sheet. Four-by-four, ‘SuperCrew’ cab design, seated five, with a laundry list of extra features. Notably, it had five-star ratings for front and side crashes…

“I want this one,” Robert said, smacking the hood with a palm.

“This one? Or this model?”

“Uh… I think my partner would be upset if I didn’t get every safety feature I could,” he said, quiet enough that I imagined he thought I couldn’t hear him.

“Okay, well I think we have a few more of these around with more bells and whistles. Let’s go inside and I’ll check our inventory now that you found a model you like.”

 

* * *

 

It took another hour to narrow down the perfect truck in the dealer’s electronic inventory. Robert left to take his chosen truck for a drive with a wide smile while Mike ran the finances. I didn’t feel like sitting alone with Robert in a truck after overhearing him, so I stayed in the comparatively warm dealership nursing a cup of terribly bitter coffee and a complimentary chocolate maple bar.

I hadn’t even realized I’d been obsessing over the safety features until he said it, and now that I knew, it mortified me. It wasn’t weird to do that, was it? He probably thought I was being clingy or something. I didn’t want to annoy him, I just wanted him to be safe.

Mike finished the finances and payment plan, then sat down at his desk again to trade small talk with me until Robert returned and sealed the deal.

While I watched him pull out of the dealership onto the street, I caught glimpse of a big grin splitting his face. At least he was happy with the purchase, even if I felt so terrible about the day so far.

 

* * *

 

A few days had passed since the accident. I still didn’t feel like cooking, so I brought Chinese takeout to Robert’s house in the evening.

Yet again, dark windows greeted me when I knocked on Robert’s door. I peered through the window and saw his silhouette in the living room, but I unlocked the door for myself instead.

Betsy greeted me by pawing my legs like she usually did.

“Hey,” I said as I set down the bag of Szechuan chili chicken and egg rolls on the bar. Robert, who was sitting on his couch, stared blankly at one of the records framed on the wall.

“How are you?”

Robert sighed heavily and looked vaguely in my direction. There were dark shadows under his eyes, and his green T-shirt looked wrinkled from apathy and sleep. “I’ve been better.”

I slowly walked toward him; he’d been distant since the accident, preferring to be alone when we weren’t dealing with business that strictly needed me. “I feel that. Haven’t slept well in days.”

He turned his attention back toward the records. They couldn’t be that interesting, could they?

“I brought Chinese food,” I offered, only to cringe when I realized I was going for small talk again.

“I know. Chili chicken and egg rolls,” he said without diverting his gaze.

“How’s your, uh… leg?”

“Perfectly fine,” he said.

“How about your head?” I asked.

Robert turned toward me with a narrowed gaze. “I don’t feel a thing. Why?”

“You don’t feel a thing?” I ducked to meet his eyes and looked to see if they were unfocused. “Are you numb or something? That’s not a good sign. We really—”

“ _Matt,”_ he interjected. I reared back as if he hit me. “Are you… okay?”

With a hand over my chest in surprise, I gaped at him. “Am _I_ okay? You’re the one who got in the car accident.”

Robert stood and laid his hands on my sides. He locked eyes with me and took a few breaths. “You’ve been acting like a mother hen ever since the accident. It’s a little… concerning.”

“I have not, I bare—”

“Not every innocuous statement I make about not feeling anything means it’s numb, or that—”

“You were in a car accident. You could have died!”

“But I _didn't.”_

“But what if you—” I choked out a sob as the thoughts I dared not even acknowledge until now bubbled to the surface. “Maybe you _did_ die.”

Robert said nothing as he stared, mouth agape.

“Maybe you died and just… came back. If you weren’t a werewolf, that’d be _it,_ you’d – I’d have lost you, too.” I barely recognized my own voice, and I pulled away from him out of shame for the tears that began dripping freely. With my back to him, I looked impassively out the windows at the shrubbery that made a natural fence around his house. “I never got to say goodbye. He was just gone…”

All the pain, longing, and loneliness resurfaced in an awful twinge in my chest. I buried my face in my hands and took a shaky, gasping inhale—

Robert’s hand on my shoulder startled me, and he gently guided me into turning around. His face drooped in an achingly sad frown, a few tears wetting his cheeks. “It’s okay,” he said quietly.

I sniffed loudly and asked, “What's okay?”

“It’s okay, Matt. Everything is okay.” He smoothed his hands down my sides again and crept into my personal space, his face inches from mine. “Talk to me. Please?”

“I just need you to be all right,” I said in a hoarse whisper between quiet sobs that wracked my lungs and made breathing difficult. “I’m still so scared that some… delayed injury will take you or… I don’t know. I don’t want to be alone again…”

Robert pulled me in for a close hug, and I curled tight around him as he swayed me side to side, his hands tenderly stroking all over my back.

“The accident brought back so many painful memories,” I said, in a quiet squeak.

“I’m fine. I’m still here. I’m not going anywhere,” he said in a bit of a ramble. Robert let me sob and sniff into his shoulder as he patted my back, still gently swaying me.

“Getting a bit of déjà vu from this,” I said with a fake laugh. “It’s my turn I guess.”

Robert pulled back enough to look at me, his brown eyes wet. “Did you ever… go to grief counseling, or something?”

“No… I never found the time. Between managing insurance and loose ends and raising Amanda…”

“Would you go, if I went with you?”

I stared, dumbfounded. “Isn’t it kind of late for that?”

“I went to counseling years after Marilyn died. You were there,” he countered. “It hurts me very deeply to see you this upset, to know that you’re in so much pain.”

I had no idea what to say.

“There’s nothing I can do or say to heal your broken heart, but I can at least steer you in the right direction.”

“I – okay.”

Robert’s eyebrows shot up. “Okay what?”

“I’ll go. I don’t want to hurt you, and… I guess I don’t want to hurt either, anymore.”

Robert cupped my jaw and kissed me, soft and sweet, even though we were both a mess. “Thank you.”

I buried my face in his shoulder and breathed deep how he smelled. A few moments later, I heard a quiet click, and static filled the air before some soft Latin music began playing – not Santana, something else.

“Just hold me and dance,” Robert whispered.

Now didn’t feel like the time to dance, but I let Robert slowly guide me around the room at a meandering common time pace. He never let go of me, never let more than two or three inches of space form between us.

“I love you, Rob,” I said softly, my cheek on his shoulder muffling my voice.

“I love you, too, Matt.” Robert laid his head against mine, and his big arms held me in an intimate embrace. “More than I have words to say.”

Something poking my back startled me, and I realized it was his claws. I pulled away to look him in the eyes and saw that he had turned; maybe an ache in his heart had made him shift. I ran a hand along his jaw covered in dense, but fluffy beard, and up along a pointy ear.

“Can I… ask you a question?”

“Sure. That was your question.”

“Oh, fuck off,” I growled as Robert held back a laugh.

“Go right ahead.”

His eyes weren’t scary, though occasionally the glow was unsettling. Maybe it was just the eye contact before such a personal question.

“Are you… glad that you were bit, now?” I asked under my breath.

Robert’s dimly lit eyes searched my face. “I don’t know. Are you?”

I smoothed a palm over his chest, where his heart beat a steady pace under my fingers. “Well, you lived because of it, didn’t you? You’re still here with me. And…”

One of Robert’s eyebrows quirked up inquisitively. “And…?”

“I feel like… we’re closer than ever, somehow, because of it.”

Robert spun me clockwise but paused when the song ended. “I don’t really understand why, but I feel the same way.”

As I gazed warmly at him, it dawned upon me that he’ll be heartbroken all over again when I pass away in however many years. He’ll have to watch me age and wither. Maybe I won’t even recognize him by then, if I begin losing my mind.

No one deserved to be lonely, especially not my beloved Robert.

“I – Robert, I—”

His eyebrows shot up. “Something wrong?”

“No, I just – I want you to bite me.”

Robert’s jaw dropped, inadvertently baring his fangs. “You want me…?”

“…To bite me,” I supplied.

“Do you mean it?” he asked in amazement. “You really want – you want to spend your life with me?” he heaved out.

“I do. I do,” I said again. “Next full moon, I want you to turn me.”

A few tears dripped down his face; we sure had been crying a lot, lately. He grimaced and wiped some tears away with a knuckle, sniffing loudly. I suppose I did just tell him he wouldn’t be losing his partner.

“God… I was so scared you’d say no,” he whimpered. “I don’t wanna end up alone, either…”

“You're not gonna be alone,” I said.

Robert’s lips quivered as he resisted breaking down, which looked a bit funny with his fangs poking out. I spun him in a slow circle as the song changed. He hid his face in my shoulder and began soaking my shirt.

I laid a kiss on his neck and stroked his back a bit more vigorously. “It’ll be okay, Rob. It’ll all be okay.”

He gasped and drew away to look in my eyes again. “I know,” he said with a loud sniffle. “It’ll be okay.”

The Chinese food growing cold crossed my mind as I kept patting Robert’s back. “I don’t mean to ruin the mood, but… well, the food’s getting cold.”

Robert’s eyes crinkled as he broke into an adorable, toothy smile. “I _am_ pretty hungry.”

We sat in the living room and ate cold Szechuan chili chicken out of takeout boxes, with only the sound of chewing, Betsy shuffling around, and the Latin music staging off silence. Several times I had to hold back a chuckle, watching Robert’s claws get in the way of using his disposable chopsticks. Once or twice I thought he might start eating with his bare hands, then thought better – that might be kind of offensive.

After finishing every bite, Robert wordlessly led me upstairs to his room, where he slowly stripped me nude, his eyes locked with mine every moment. I peeled his shirt off and ran a finger down his sternum, through his thick happy trail, until I reached his jeans and freed him of those, too.

He sat down on his bed, and I climbed in behind him, pressing as much of my belly and chest against his back as I could. With our fingers laced together, his heart beat under my hand as I combed through his chest hair. He sighed happily when I kissed his neck and the soft hair tickled my lips.

“Are you excited?” I asked. Robert was so warm and hairy that I couldn’t resist nuzzling him with my cheeks. I slowly stroked his body, trying to say with my hands how much I appreciated his companionship.

“Trying to contain it,” he said; I could hear his smile. “We still have to wait a few weeks.” He leaned back into me, and I hugged him around his firm tummy. “December third,” he murmured.

“If loving you – if being with you – means I have to be a werewolf… then I wanna be a werewolf.”

“That means so much to hear… You know,” he said. “I haven’t – uh, well…”

“What?” I asked. His trepidation made me nervous.

“I guess I can turn on purpose.”

I craned my neck over his shoulder to look at Robert’s face. He turned to look me in the eyes with his golden-brown glow. “You can?” I asked in awe.

“I stayed this way all evening just to see if I could after I first turned, but you seem to enjoy it, so it’s win-win.”

I slowly palmed him, from his belly down his legs, and back up to give his cock a light stroke. “You are _very_ handsome like this.”

It was so bizarre, thinking of how far we both had come. Two months ago, I thought he looked terrifying and now being a werewolf was a huge perk. Robert seemed to hate himself all over again, but he’d really grown into his own skin since meeting his new friends.

“The hair and fangs don’t bother you?” he asked hesitantly.

“The hair makes you _very_ cuddly, and the fangs and claws don’t bug me at all.” Speaking of, where our fingers lay joined, his claws lightly poked the back of my hand, but that didn’t bother me either. “You’re my Robert,” I said quietly as I rubbed his belly. “It doesn’t matter to me how you look.”

Robert started slowly turning, pawing carefully until he fully faced me and could curl around me. He pulled one of his blankets over us and reached over to turn out the lights.

“I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you,” he murmured into me.

“I can’t, either.”

I wasn’t sure I’d heard anything quite so romantic in a while. With him draped over me comfortably, after how exhausting an evening it had been, sleep took him quickly, and in my dreams, I frolicked in a beautiful moonlit forest with him.

 

* * *

 

The couch under me felt strangely uncomfortable as I sat nervously in the waiting room with Robert at my side, holding hands. There wasn’t a single good reason to be nervous, and yet I had to resist chewing up my fingernails.

“Hey,” he whispered. I turned to see him looking in my eyes with a stitch in his brow. “You’re gonna be fine.”

I let out a loud breath and said, “I know. It’s just… not easy to talk about.”

Muffled footsteps approached from down the hall, and I glanced up in time to watch an attendant open the door into the offices. “Mr. Small,” he said.

Robert and I followed through beige hallways tastefully decorated with paintings and photographs until we entered the plush office of—

“Hello, Matt! Nice to see you again,” Dr. Taft said from his armchair.

“Hey,” I said, suppressing a groan as I sat down too hard on the couch. “It’s been a while.”

“So, Robert tells me you have something important you’ve been needing to talk about for a while.”

“Yeah. Let’s start at the beginning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Robert gets in a car accident and Matt has a flashback and trauma response. The content of this chapter is overall somewhat heavy.


	9. Chapter 9

After a long, _long_ week of dealing with everything after the car crash, Thanksgiving had finally arrived, and with it came respite. Respite in the form of family togetherness and more food than anyone should reasonably eat at once.

Robert and I spent the day sequestered in our separate abodes, feverishly preparing half of Thanksgiving dinner. Robert insisted on making the turkey and far be it from me to take that away when he was so dead set on it. I spent my day making pies and the cornbread casserole Amanda wanted. There was a little bit of discomfort in the back of my mind as I carefully baked all day, knowing Robert had a much larger workload.

The pies took several hours alone, and the casserole took another, but by late afternoon I finished baking. I put on my nicest dress shirt – a dark red contemporary – black slacks, and styled my hair, and all that I needed now was for the guests of honor to arrive.

I had asked Amanda if she needed help getting here, but she said she had arranged it already. When I pressed for more information, she just said it was handled again, so I supposed if she arrived by bus, so be it.

I turned on the TV and surfed to the Thanksgiving parade, right in the thick of a _Goo Goo Dolls_ performance. Every few minutes I glanced out the window to check if someone had arrived without me noticing until, at last, Val’s sports car pulled up and—

Amanda climbed out of the passenger seat?

I turned more fully in my seat to check if I was imagining it, but there stood Amanda in her leather jacket and acid wash jeans, Val following in a crimson designer women’s suit. Jeez, it made me feel underdressed, despite my formalwear.

Amanda almost pounced on me with a shriek of glee when I let them in, a huge grin emblazoned on her face. “Hi dad!” she yelled as I caught her and almost toppled backward.

“Hey, kiddo,” I chuckled. “Oof, you know I’m too old to be tackled.”

Amanda took control of the hug and spun us around a bit. “I’m just happy to see you!” When she pulled away, her bright smile and freckled dimples was a sight for sore eyes. I felt a bit dizzy, but I couldn’t bring myself to feel anything but joyful.

“Didn’t expect you to arrive together,” I said, glancing at Val. That suit looked expensive as hell.

Val shrugged with a coy smile. “Her college is on the way. Where’s pops?”

“He’s—” I scratched my beard in thought. “I’m not actually sure. I thought he’d be here by now.”

My mind went to the worst place it could, and I darted to the window to look outside and see that Robert’s shiny new truck was still in his driveway.

“You hear something weird or… something?” Val asked.

“Or something.”

“That’s new,” she said from my left. I glanced over to see her staring at Robert’s pickup through the window.

“Ah, yeah, his truck was totaled in a – uh… a fender bender.”

“Pft, you could ding the bumper and it’d be totaled, that thing was so old.”

He must have kept the accident to himself.

 _A week ago._ It was only a week ago that he… And only two days since I asked him to turn me. Two days since I gave him my heart for safekeeping. Or maybe since _he_ gave me _his._

“He’ll be here,” Amanda said cheerily. “How could anyone turn down an opportunity to chill with me?”

I looked over my shoulder toward her to see her finger gunning and held back a laugh. That’s my girl.

“Here’s the man of the hour,” Val said.

Sure enough, Robert was striding toward the house when I glanced outside again.

“Alright, can you two bring a dish over with you?”

Robert let himself in while I handed off ceramic and glass dishes covered in tinfoil to Amanda and Val.

“Is this cornbread casserole?” Amanda asked, a big, silly grin on her face.

“It absolutely is.”

“Yes! And you made extra this year!”

“Something smells _great,”_ Robert said from behind us.

“Sorry, that was me,” I said without turning around.

 _“Dad!”_ Amanda exclaimed with an annoyed glare. “Come _on.”_

I spun in place to face Robert with a pie in hand and said, “Hey there, handsome.” My eyes opened wide at the sight of him; I wasn’t expecting a black dress shirt and carefully groomed beard.

“Damn, dad, you look ready for a night on the town,” Val said.

Robert walked over to me and laid a hand on my side. “And what about you?” He gestured at Val’s suit with his free hand. “You look like you have a business meeting at five and a bar hop at seven.”

Val tossed her hair back with a smirk. “Good to know my intended theme got through.”

Robert kissed me on the cheek and patted my back. “Everything’s just about ready. Need any help carrying stuff over?”

“I think we got it covered.”

We carefully walked the dishes over to Robert’s house lest any one of us drop it and create a disastrous, tragic mess, and the smell of smoked turkey hit me as I stepped in the front door. There was something else that smelled a bit pungent, like a frying vegetable.

“This way, ladies,” Robert said as he strolled down the hallway toward the kitchen.

“Wow, Robert’s house is really nice,” Amanda said appreciatively. I glanced over my shoulder and saw her admiring the living room décor just in time to see Betsy barrel down the stairs, barking excitedly as she rounded Amanda’s legs. “Hey there, girl!”

“Betsy, how’d you get out?” Robert chuckled. He bent down and scratched behind Betsy’s ears. “She’s supposed to be in the back room. She has a long, sordid history of getting into food she has no business eating.”

While Robert hefted Betsy toward the back room, I went into the kitchen, where I discovered the source of the odor: stir fried Brussels sprouts with garlic, bacon, and something I didn’t recognize. Shallots? The turkey had already been cut, judging by the dirty battery-powered knife on the countertop. Candied sweet potatoes sat in a decorative bowl with ‘Las Vegas’ painted on what was visible of the lip of the bowl. Not entirely what I expected for Thanksgiving dish ware, but I’d seen stranger.

In the dining room, Robert had already prepared the table with fancy, ocean-themed placemats, silverware, a huge orange bowl with mixed greens, and a tall, brass candelabra topped with white candles. After he came back from stowing Betsy away, I made a point to say, “Mr. Small in the dining hall with the candelabra.”

Robert failed to hold back a snicker. I shot him a smile, though he was preoccupied with adjusting the silverware to be as parallel as possible.

“Wow, there are so many forks I don’t know which one to stab my arch nemesis with,” Val said. She set down the pumpkin pie at the far end of the table and I put the cranberry apple pie next to it.

“The biggest one, obviously,” Amanda said with a cheeky grin.

“The fork won’t do, go with the knife,” I added.

Amanda set the cornbread casserole down and looked at her placemat, where two different knives sat by her left. She picked up the sawlike knife and pantomimed stabbing something.

“No, Amanda, not with that one,” Robert said, shaking his head. “Serrated knives aren’t any good for stabbing.”

Turkey next to the candelabra on a silver platter, cornbread and gravy boat flanking it, salad, Brussels sprouts, and sweet potatoes on the other side; everything looked so delectable. Eating was already one of my favorite activities, and Thanksgiving made it all the better.

With everyone seated and staring at the food, it was so difficult to resist the urge to serve myself. To delay temptation I said, “Amanda and I like to take a moment to think about what we’re thankful for before we eat. What about you?”

“We do, too,” Val said.

Amanda closed her eyes and bowed her head in thought, her hands clasped on the table. Val and Robert exchanged a glance, then copied her. I followed suit to reflect upon the year for a moment.

There were so many things that came to mind, from how much Amanda seemed to be enjoying college, to simply having everyone at the table for a holiday dinner. I had a decent job, and lots of privacy, I supposed. I had a handsome partner… Yeah, I had it pretty good.

And yet… curiosity got the better of me. I cracked an eye open to look at my boyfriend sitting across from me with his eyes shut in contemplation and wondered what he was thankful for. Did he resent being a werewolf? Or did he see it as a blessing, now?

I was unendingly grateful that it had kept him with me thrice, now – through being attacked in the first place, through cancer, and through a deadly car accident. Every day I thanked whatever higher power may exist that I could still make him laugh or smile, or hug him, or… anything, really.

Robert opened his eyes and I diverted my gaze down, in case he caught me staring.

“Do you share any of it?” Val asked.

“Not usually,” Amanda replied. “It’s kind of private, you know?”

“Good. Never reveal a weakness,” Robert said.

I served up a helping of everything and started with some of the Brussels sprouts.

“Dad, are you dying?” Val asked.

I nearly choked on a crispy piece of bacon and suppressed a painful cough as my eyes grew watery.

Robert looked fine when I glanced up, though he raised a bushy eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“Your hair isn’t gray anymore.”

_Oh, dyeing._

Robert thoughtfully chewed some turkey, apparently to stall. “Yeah,” he said, running his fingers through his bangs. “Dyed it a few days ago. Does it look good?”

“It looks great!” Amanda exclaimed.

I smirked as I said, “Yeah, you picked out the perfect color, it looks _totally_ natural.”

Robert shot me a short-lived glare before he resumed the façade. I innocently chewed on some smoked turkey, perfectly flavored and not at all dry.

“What’s your girlfriend up to?” he asked.

Val patted her face clean with a dainty dab of her cloth napkin. “She’s with her folks. Probably having a blast with her racist uncle.”

Amanda scoffed and cut her turkey aggressively enough to make the knife squeak on the plate.

“Great!” I said. “Any plans to deal with him?”

“I’ve thought about it,” Val answered. “You know, bribery, arson, vehicular sabotage. When it comes down to it, though, Thanksgiving just wouldn’t be complete without an assassination attempt.”

Robert’s grin was dazzling, and Amanda’s laugh melodious. Sitting down for a holiday dinner with everyone like this was so wonderful. It was like we were already a family.

We _are_ a family.

“How’s college going?” Val asked. “What are you taking?”

“College is going great!” Amanda said with a wide smile. “I’m taking intro to art history, intro to photography, calculus I, and biology I.” Her lips curled down into a mild snarl. “I’m not liking calculus so far. I have a good grade but… at what cost?”

Amanda gazed far off into the distance as if in a fugue. I glanced at Robert, who shrugged and kept eating.

“Might be another ‘meme,’” I supplied.

Amanda blushed with a pout and served herself more casserole.

“How’s Charlotte been?” Robert asked.

“We hang out all the time. She’s in both of my photography classes, so we work on assignments together.”

Amanda kept talking about Charlotte for a while without being prompted. I wondered – while watching her face light up – if maybe she had a crush on her, or if I was reading into it. It’d only been a few months since the Noel debacle – or whatever the hell his name was. I didn’t want to ask her about him and possibly sour the mood.

Robert, Val, and Amanda all chatted over dinner, and I sat, perfectly content to listen in silence, only chiming in when addressed. Robert’s cooking really impressed, which made it a little sad that he went so long without doing it, instead subsisting on cheap pizza and booze. It made it all the better that he took healthy portions of everything and seemed to favor my cornbread casserole.

“Who wants to watch a movie after dinner?” Robert asked around a mouthful of Brussels sprouts. He wasn’t even done eating and he was already thinking about a movie.

“A movie sounds awesome. That’d give me time to make room for dessert,” Amanda said. She stared at her plate with a few scraps of food left, apparently willing herself to finish and yet unable to soldier on. Dessert was the true endgame of every thanksgiving meal, so I’d left room on purpose.

“Yeah, show us one of your weird avant-garde films, dad,” Val said with a big smile.

Robert held a hand to his chest in shock. _“Weird?”_

“I know what you’re gonna say, I ‘wouldn’t know good cinema if it bit my ass,’ right?”

“Damn right, I’m gonna pick out something right now.”

Robert’s chair screeched when he scooted back and strolled out to the living room.

He muttered something about Val being uncultured from the hallway. I let out a guffaw against my will and said, “You did that on purpose.”

“Absolutely,” she said with a devious smirk.

“Well I hope you’re ready, because we’re in for a potentially wild ride.”

Several minutes passed in relative silence until I heard Robert calling from the living room. “Alright, I picked one out!”

I scooted my chair back and lifted myself out, feeling a bit heavy after eating so much. “Let’s not keep him waiting.”

The living room looked different when I entered: Robert had spun the couches so one fully faced the TV. The other not so much, but the net effect was that watching a movie didn’t require straining your neck anymore. He’d rearranged a few other pieces of furniture – notably the bar – and overall the room looked a lot more functional—

“Wait, it wasn’t like this when we got here,” Amanda said in confusion. “The couch was over there, and…”

Robert stared, almost bug eyed in alarm. The couches weren’t light. “Oh, well I just… shuffled a few things around real quick,” he spat out.

“It looks nice,” Val exclaimed, apparently none the wiser that Robert did all of that in no time at all and barely broke a sweat. I wonder if he could pick me up…

The Blu-ray player was already on the main menu, so we took a seat – me on one end, Val and Amanda on the other. Robert grabbed the remote and carefully stepped over my legs to sit next to me and curl an arm around me.

“What are we watching, hon?”

“ _Paris, Texas_ ,” he said.

“I’ve heard of the town, at least.”

The movie opened on a man walking in a desert, only to pass out upon entering some kind of bar. The man – an amnesiac mute – embarked on a journey with a long-lost brother across the country to reunite with his son, only to double back with him to find his son’s estranged mother.

I glanced at Robert – who still had an arm comfortably around me and idly played his fingers over my side – and looked past his pretty eyes reflecting the TV at Amanda, who’d passed out, slumped against Robert.

“Rob,” I whispered. “When did she fall asleep?”

He looked at Amanda, then at me. “Dunno,” he said with a bit of a smile. “It’s cute, though.”

While Travis spoke to his wife – I think she was his wife, anyway – in a peep-show club, I couldn’t decide if I loved or hated the movie. There was so much I liked about it – the strange guitar soundtrack, the scenery, the authenticity of emotion – but there was a lot I really _didn’t._

It seemed slow, I couldn’t figure out some of the character backstory, and why was Travis an amnesiac? What compelled him to bring his son back to his wife when Hunter seemed perfectly content with Travis’ brother and sister-in-law?

Maybe I just didn’t ‘get it,’ and that’s okay.

“Wow,” Val said as the credits rolled.

“Wow?”

“That was _phenomenal._ I think that’s my new favorite movie.”

Robert turned toward her in surprise. “Really?”

“I don’t know how to put it in words,” she added. “But it’s like, the perfect distillation of the Southwest and it – I haven’t seen anything like it before.”

“You’re among good company; Kurt Cobain called it his favorite film of all time.”

Val looked at Robert with a vague expression of disgust. “Why does everything that comes out of Hollywood _suck_ these days?”

 _“Finally,_ someone else gets it. Wim Wenders is a genius. You should watch _Wings of Desire_ , sometime.” Then, he turned to look at me.

_Oh no._

“What did you think?” he asked, a hopeful smile on his visage.

“Uh, well…” I fumbled for something nice to say after dwelling on what I didn’t like. “I enjoyed how authentic the actors made everything. The sheer joy of meeting his son again, and…”

Robert slowly nodded. “And…?”

“The music was really interesting.” I rubbed the back of my neck and looked away from my boyfriend and our daughters. “I’m just not sure I understand all their motivations, I guess.”

“You didn’t like it?” Robert frowned hard. “That’s it, relationship over.”

My face fell in a pout—

“I’m kidding,” Robert added, his expression softening in an instant. “It’s okay if you don’t like it.” He gave a one shoulder shrug. “You either love _Paris, Texas_ or you hate it – though most love it.”

“But I _don’t_ hate it,” I cut in, maybe a bit hastily. “I just… don’t fully get it.”

“That’s _okay,”_ Robert said as he curled an arm around me again, sneaking his hand under my shirt to tenderly hold bare skin. He turned back to Val to talk more about the movie.

After a few minutes of listening to them animatedly chat, Amanda roused from sleep and rubbed her eyes with a wide smile. “That was a great nap, but I’m ready for dessert.”

“Finally! I’ve been looking forward to trying that pie all day.” I jumped to my feet and marched toward the dining room, Amanda close behind me. “The pie awaits, and I for one will not disappoint it any longer.”

Amanda snickered and I turned to get a look at her dimpled smile. “You dork,” she said fondly.

I cut the cranberry apple pie first and served Amanda a generous slice. Val and Robert were still talking about the movie when they walked in.

“You’re still going, huh?” I asked.

Val shrugged. “It was a good movie. Besides, I haven’t had a chat with pops for a while.”

When everyone had a piece of each pie, I finally sat and took a bite of the tart, crisp pie. The fruit had a gooey texture and the apples added a mild crunch to it.

“So, what happened with your truck?” Val asked nonchalantly while she scooped up a bite of pumpkin pie.

Robert cleared his throat, and I glanced at him to gauge his reaction. He _seemed_ casual about it…

“An SUV T-boned me in rush hour.”

“What? No way,” Amanda said.

“Yeah. Over on Occidental and Fifth. Shut down the streets for a while.”

“You weren’t injured, were you?” Val murmured. Her expression was tinged with concern in the furrow of her brow and her downturned lips.

“Oh yeah,” Robert exclaimed. “Glass went everywhere. I got a concussion and thirty stitches in my side, probably gonna leave a sick scar.”

I felt a bit ill thinking about the accident; I just stared at him to reaffirm that he’s fine and willed myself to remember that he could heal through almost anything now.

“That must have been terrifying,” Amanda said with a low, saddened tone.

“I’m kidding,” Robert said. “Glass did go everywhere, but I didn’t suffer any injuries, thank God.”

“Wow. That’s a miracle. Hope you got a big insurance payout,” Val said.

“Not yet. Even then, they totaled the truck with no hesitation,” Robert said. He took a big bite of pumpkin pie and chewed thoughtfully. “Still working with the insurance, but they already ruled it as the other driver’s fault.”

“The new one looks nice.”

“Handles like a dream.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t tell me,” Val said.

_There it is._

Robert stayed quiet for a moment as he ate his pie. He swallowed almost audibly and paused. “I didn’t want to worry you.”

Val glared at him in annoyance. “Dad, I – you’d think your daughter should know about something like that.”

Robert diverted his gaze with a sheepish grimace, and my pulse picked up as I worried the fight would worsen. “I’m sorry… I’ve been so busy dealing with insurance and all that business. I didn’t mean to irritate or anger you by not telling you.”

Val crossed her arms and let out a huff of breath through her nose.

“Besides, I was in good hands. Matt kept me under close watch. You have plenty to worry about, and adding to it wasn’t very appealing.” Robert’s eyebrows slowly rose as we waited for Val’s response. “Val?”

Her posture eventually relaxed, as did her look of irritation. “I suppose I can understand that. Thank you for apologizing. Just let me know in the future, okay? Regardless of whether you think it would burden me or not.”

“Will do,” Robert said.

Val’s gaze narrowed again. “Or else.”

“Or else _what?”_ he asked with a suspicious glare.

 _“You know,”_ she sneered dramatically.

“You wouldn’t,” Robert hissed with a horrified gape, and I couldn’t tell if they were acting to amuse us or if it was a legitimate threat.

I glanced at Amanda to see her mouth wide open in shock – I almost laughed when a few crumbs of pie fell onto her plate. There was no doubt Robert and Val were father and daughter.

“The cranberry pie is delicious, Matt,” Val said, her threatening glare changing to a warm smile at a breakneck speed.

“Oh, uh… thank you?” I said dumbly. “It’s… a new recipe I’ve been meaning to try.”

“The pumpkin pie is fantastic, too,” Robert said.

Amanda came in with another diversion. “Dad’s pies are awesome, but the cornbread casserole is my favorite.”

“God, you _have_ to give me that recipe,” Val nearly yelled. “My girlfriend will go nuts over it.”

“Consider it done already.”

“Well,” Amanda said after she polished off her pie. “I’m beat. Anyone mind if I bail to go sleep?”

“Oh, you’re staying the night?” I asked hopefully. A bit dumbly, actually – of course she was, if she worded it like that.

“Yeah, I wanna visit some friends tomorrow,” she said with a grin. “Basically, everyone is back home, so we have something planned.”

“That,” Val started, “and it’s a five-hour drive to Brooklyn, if you factor in dropping her off.” She gave Amanda a warm smile. “I’m happy to do it, but this late at night I might fall asleep behind the wheel. No thank you.”

“I got your—the guest room ready for you,” Robert said, looking at Val. “I even took out some of your old stuffed animals I found in storage.”

Val inhaled sharply in surprise. “Did you find Flappy?” she asked, looking a bit crazed. “Tell me you found Flappy.”

“Who’s Flappy?” I asked with a chuckle.

“Flappy was her lion fish doll with enormous fins,” Robert said. “Hence the name.”

Val tore away from the table and speed-walked down the hallway. I heard a shriek a moment later and a muffled _“Flappy!”_ from the guest room.

Robert hid a bashful smile while he absently bit a fingernail. “Oh shit,” he blurted out, stumbling to his feet. “I forgot a few things for her.”

I watched him stroll down the hallway to do his fatherly duties.

“He’s so wonderful,” I said absentmindedly.

“Barf,” Amanda spat out. “Welp, ‘night, pops, thanks for cooking for us!”

“Sleep well!” I said, waving goodbye as she left to go home.

It was so peaceful now that it was silent; it had been a placid evening already (except for the small upset). I reclined in my chair with my eyes closed—

“Hey.”

I started awake with a gasp and shot a glare at Robert standing in the archway. “How long have you been there?”

“Three seconds. How long have you been asleep?”

I rubbed my tired eyes in thought. “The last thing I remember was Amanda leaving…”

Robert chuckled and slunk over to run his fingers through my hair. “That was almost twenty minutes ago. Let’s go to bed.”

“Bed sounds heavenly, right now.”

I went through my bedtime routine while Robert cleaned up dishes – something I should have done while he was busy – then took a seat on the square chair in his room. He wouldn’t take me by surprise this time! I stayed as perfectly still as I could and strained to hear every single sound coming down the hallway. Mostly I heard dishes clanking or water running. But then, almost more importantly, I heard nothing.

Not a single thing.

Those damn werewolf reflexes or something wouldn’t best me now. I closed my eyes and focused, and heard feet almost imperceptibly dragging across carpet.

“Hey,” I said, right as Robert walked by.

“Whoa!” he yelped, clutching his chest in shock. “Don’t do that!”

“Now you know how it feels,” I said with as mischievous a smile as I could manage.

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop. It’s so _easy_ though.”

He approached me while unbuttoning his shirt and I stood to start taking off mine. While stripping, I felt a bit sluggish after eating so much. Once free of clothing and underwear, I sat cross-legged in the middle of Robert’s bed and watched him peel off the rest, from pants, to cute red boxers, to socks, my eyes drawing down his hairy chest.

“Like what you see?” he asked.

My gaze darted back up to meet his, where he wore a smug grin.

“I really do,” I slurred dumbly, and Robert laughed as he sat down in front of me.

“Well, I do too,” he murmured as he scooted close and curled around me.

I hiked my legs over his and moved as close as I could. His handsome bearded face was inches from mine, our eyes locked as I waited to see what he’d do. I dipped my fingers in the valley of his spine, and his hands roamed up and down my back with a soft touch.

“You had the cutest smile all night,” Robert said.

“Yeah?”

Robert’s gaze looked achingly fond as I ran a hand along his firm back. “You know. The happy smile.”

“Smiles are usually happy,” I said with a chuckle.

“I mean _the_ smile. What were you thinking about?”

“I was just… thinking how nice it was, being a family.”

“It was really nice,” Robert said with a wistful smile. He inched his hands along my back, slowly bringing me closer, and with a bit of a gasp I curled tighter around him and met his lips, letting out a quiet moan as his tongue licked mine.

It wasn’t often that we spent time just kissing like desperate teenagers. Most of the time it led almost directly to passionate sex, but so soon after a big dinner I couldn’t think of going further. And yet my heart pounded as Robert hugged me, our quiet huffs of breath and gasps of satisfaction filling the air.

It didn’t take much stroking or tender kissing before I felt his teeth change and his body grow hairy, but I didn’t hesitate or pause my kissing. Instead I lovingly ran my fingers through his back hair and leaned into him to kiss deeper. I tasted his tongue and sucked on his lip as claws pressed into me, only for Robert’s palms to flatten and more gently hold me.

I pulled away to cup the back of his head to share an intimate look with my beautiful werewolf boyfriend. “I love you,” I said. “I care so very deeply for you.”

“I love you too,” Robert whispered, his golden eyes hooded as he gazed into mine. “You mean the world to me.”

I scratched his scruffy jaw with a smitten smile, and he thumbed my cheek; the claws didn’t make me flinch anymore. His gorgeous face framed by slightly messy beard was a sight for sore eyes. Even his mouthful of sharp teeth was a handsome feature.

The warm, ‘golden’ feeling brimmed in my heart again and I leaned in to let my forehead rest against his. Strangely, I felt compelled to ask him to bite me then and there, though I knew nothing would come of it, save for a nasty wound.

“I can’t wait to be a werewolf,” I whispered. “I wish you could bite me now.”

Robert leaned in and nibbled my shoulder. I tilted my head to let him lick my neck as I stroked his back. His teeth on my skin somehow felt loving and intimate; maybe it was like letting him be an animal. Our cocks were rock hard against each other, but I just wanted to hold him.

“I can’t wait for you to be all furry like me,” Robert whispered, a laugh punctuating his sentence.

My lover seemed content to deeply smell me, even trailing kisses down toward my underarms. I let him lift my arm, and I nuzzled the side of his head while he sniffed me. Admittedly… I kind of wanted him to do this, to the point that I switched to unscented antiperspirant a while ago. Was that weird? I couldn’t tell if it was weird.

It was a kind of affection I wasn’t used to, but Robert leaning into me and nuzzling my pec as he happily smelled me, all while I gently rubbed his back filled me with a joy that was hard to put into words.

“What’s it like, anyway?” I asked quietly. “Being a werewolf?” It seemed a shame to break the tranquil quiet of Robert’s room; the only other sounds were our breathing and the drag of skin on skin as we petted each other. But my curiosity and anticipation got the best of me.

“Well… uh… I’m not sure where to start.”

I laid my head against his and hugged his shoulders. “You can just ramble. I don’t mind.” I held my breath while I waited for him to begin. “Something Ellen said to me was like… ‘when man and inner beast are in harmony, you’ll know peace.’”

“Man and inner beast…”

“Does it feel… good? Or like…”

“It does feel good,” Robert said in a hush tone. “I feel strong… I have way more energy, my body doesn’t hurt…”

This wasn’t new, but I didn’t exactly want to say so aloud. “What about your… feelings, or something?”

“It does kind of feel like I’m sharing my body with an animal,” he said. “That’s not a great way to put it. It’s more like _I’m_ part animal now, but not at the same time. I feel like I need to eat meat more, like… if I don’t have it with every meal… I dunno.”

“Guess you’ll be having a lot of breakfast sausage.”

His hairy body was so warm and comfortable… I wanted to hug him forever, and I draped over him a bit more. I felt at peace with him, like I could do anything if we were together. I wondered if he felt the same.

“It’s also weird having better senses. I don’t like going to the gym now, the equipment is too loud. Mat’s coffee shop smells overwhelmingly like coffee grounds. Why would I need better smell and hearing?” Robert asked. “And it’s kind of weird how I have the urge to go hunting when the moon is bright, or if I get stressed out. It’s a bit disconcerting if I’m being honest.”

“So like… what would you hunt?” I asked.

Robert shrugged. “Deer, rabbits, I don’t know. Just meat, I suppose.”

Wolves are carnivores; it made sense but didn’t at the same time.

“I don’t know if I’d say I’m… happier,” Robert said, sounding hesitant with every word. “Life was simpler when I wasn’t one.”

“Yeah?”

“But… I don’t think I’d give it up for anything, now.”

I drew away to look at him, and his warm eyes met mine. “Really?”

His gaze wandered a bit, taking me in. The pensive expression he wore looked stupidly cute with fangs. “Yeah,” he said, slowly nodding. “Yeah, I think so.”

I slid a palm over his heart and gently rubbed his pec with as tender a touch as I could. “You know what, I’ll take it.”

Robert grinned and trailed his claws down my sternum. “When you put it that way, it does sound pretty okay.” He put some weight on my chest until I lay on his bed, crawling on top of me to meet my lips in a soft kiss. I wrapped around him, but he rolled us over so I lay on him and his arms loosely hugged me.

The quiet passion of our love was one of the greatest blessings in my life, I thought, as we kissed each other until drowsiness compelled us to stop. When I could hardly keep my eyes open anymore, something in my heart told me he surely was happier.

 

* * *

 

A sudden beep from a phone tore me from sleep. My eyes hurt – a great sign that I definitely needed more rest – and I cracked them open to get a feel for the time. It was still dark out, and Robert was still passed out under me, so I pawed at the nightstand until I recognized my phone in my grasp. It was a little after seven; how horrendous, sleeping in was one of my favorite activities. But aside that, the notification waiting for me was interesting.

From: Craig  
_Hey bro, you up for our old thanksgiving tradition, for old times sake?_

Back in college, every Thanksgiving Craig and I would get absolutely wasted and take turns bragging about something as a way of giving thanks. It never failed to leave me with a hangover, and more often than not it ended up being a completely ridiculous back and forth of gloating, but I still fondly think back to those days.

To: Craig  
_Can I get back to you on that? I’m still figuring out my plans for the day_

From: Craig  
_Sure thing, I have the kids until this afternoon anyway_

To: Craig  
_Tell them I said hi!_

I set my phone down and buried my face in Robert’s chest hair again. He smelled so nice, and I needed my beauty rest anyway.

 

* * *

 

Waiting for Robert to finish making breakfast was tortuous, thanks to the wonderful smell of turkey, frying egg, and cranberry coming from the kitchen. I was still figuring out how my day would play out; may as well figure out one piece of it instead of idly checking my email on my phone.

To: Amanda  
_Robert’s making breakfast if you’re interested_

From: Amanda  
_I have breakfast plans with my friends, sorry! Rain check?_

Well, that was saddening – I’d barely get to see her before she’d be off to college again. Robert’s words from months ago echoed in my head: _‘You have to let her go.’_

To: Amanda  
_Okay, have fun!_

The _sound_ of frying food was exacerbating my hunger—the doorbell rang. I looked over my shoulder toward the hallway.

“Can you get that?” Robert asked from the kitchen.

I plodded over to the front door – thankfully I had pajamas on – and glanced out the window. Mary was standing outside in a fancy fur coat.

“Hey Mary,” I said after opening the door. “What’s up?”

She looked irritated, to put it lightly, and had her arms crossed. “Oh, you know how it goes. Can I come in?”

“Sure.” I beckoned her inside and watched her remove her coat. It looked like fake animal fur. “We’re just about to have breakfast, do you want some?”

She shrugged nonchalantly. “Sure, why not?”

Robert probably heard her and was already preparing more food. He’d already set out a few plates with toasted biscuits, slices of hot turkey, fried eggs, shredded cheddar, and a bowl of cranberry sauce when we came back.

“Nothing like leftovers for breakfast,” Mary said as she took a seat.

“There really isn’t. So how goes it?” I asked.

“Oh, you know how it goes.” She scrunched her face up in irritation. “I said those exact words already, didn’t I? Sorry, I’m a bit frazzled.”

“What’s wrong?”

She scoffed and diverted her gaze toward a record display on the wall. “It’s not worth getting into.”

Robert came in with another plate, the clinking of a fork on it the only clue anyone was coming at all. Damnable werewolf sneakiness. “Hey,” he said coolly as he set down another plate with eggs and sausage patties on it.

I assembled a sandwich with some of everything on it. The cheese might be too much, but I wouldn’t know until I tried.

“What’s up with you?” Robert asked. He looked Mary up and down with a furrow in his brow. “You look tense as hell.”

Mary sighed and combed her fingers through her hair. “Thanksgiving didn’t go so great and I’m still frustrated over it.” She began making a sandwich of mostly turkey and egg. Robert started on one with plenty of meat.

“Did something happen?” I asked. I took a bite; the cheese was surprisingly tolerable with the cranberry sauce, but I still felt like I needed to scrape it off. It was such a strange combination.

“Joseph was a bit overbearing. Around this time of year everyone gets stressed out because of the holiday rush, but this time it was nasty.”

I heard Val approaching, her slippers shuffling along on the carpet. The sight of her hair perfectly styled took me by surprise.

“Wh—how?” I stammered.

“How what?” Val asked, an eyebrow raising.

“Your hair! It looks flawless,” I exclaimed, gesturing incredulously toward her with a hand.

“Thank you, you’re so kind,” Val replied, with a flattered smile.

“But how? It’s barely even nine!”

“Women learn how to do their hair in very little time, very quickly,” Mary said.

“I – but…”

Val sat down after assembling a sandwich and pouring on maple syrup she’d brought from the kitchen. “The secret is I sold my soul to a much darker power than any of us can comprehend.”

“That’s my girl,” Robert said.

“Anyway,” Mary started. “Back to my story. Every little thing that went wrong with thanksgiving dinner was a _disaster_ to Joseph this year. As much as it sounds like I can’t stand them most of the time, I kind of like when the kids help out. The food won’t be perfect, but it’s a nice family bonding moment – except for this time.”

“What did he do? Do I have to go tear him a new asshole?” Robert asked angrily.

Mary scoffed and ripped off a chunk of her sandwich. “I wouldn’t say no,” she mumbled around her food. “But no, the stress of planning all his church events or something got to him. Christie put too much brown sugar in the candied sweet potatoes and Chris drenched the salad in balsamic. Christian threw off the gravy recipe with too much of…” She laid a finger on her chin in thought. “I don’t know what the fuck he did, but it came out about as thick as paste. Either way, Joseph lost it and yelled at me like it was my fault it happened.”

“Fuck that,” Val muttered.

“I know!” Mary threw up her arms in disbelief. “I don’t care if my kids made the salad too wet, or the sweet potatoes too sweet, or if I have to throw some gravy in the compost. It’s not worth yelling at anyone!”

I frowned hard and said, “Wow, what a prick.”

“Anyway, good to know others agree with me. We’re not on speaking terms this morning.”

“What do you plan to do?” I asked.

“Wait for him to crawl to me with his tail between his legs,” Mary said with a bit of a scowl. “He’ll realize he was a douche eventually, especially when the kids start complaining. Christian is smart enough and old enough to know that yelling at me was wrong.”

“How long does he drag it out?” Val asked.

“Couple days, usually. Well, thanks for listening, I suppose. And thanks for breakfast.” She glanced at Robert and tossed him a small smile.

“Don’t mention it,” he replied.

“Okay, enough talking about me. How are things going?”

“Well, uh…” I started. “I guess… I have no major complaints?”

Mary lolled her head toward Robert with a sly smile. “Rob, I know you can do better than ‘no major complaints’ in a relationship,” she teased.

“Oh! Our relationship,” I exclaimed.

“Yeah, you know. That thing.”

Robert jumped in. “Things are going great, I’m really happy with him, and he liked _A Matter of Life and Death_.”

“Wow, he’s a keeper,” Mary said, deadpan.

Val broke into a melodious laugh and slapped the table; she had an ear-to-ear smile and reddening cheeks that made her grin infectious.

“That all you got, big guy?” Mary asked, visibly suppressing a smirk as her eyes darted to Val to watch her laugh.

“Not even close,” he said, not missing a beat. “He’s very attentive to my needs, and he’s a tiger in—”

“Okay,” Mary suddenly said, talking over Robert. Val laughed even louder – it sounded like drawing air was a challenge for her at the moment. My face started burning from embarrassment and I covered my sheepish smile with a hand. “Well that—huh.” Robert furrowed his brow and looked at Mary’s coat hanging from the chair. She took her phone out of the pocket and glared at the screen. “He wants to ‘talk,’” she muttered. “Alright… guess I’m out of here. Sorry to eat and run.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Robert said with a shrug. “Go talk to that trash heap you call your husband.”

Mary scarfed down the last bite of her breakfast sandwich and murmured “Keep it sleazy” around it. I snorted as she stood to leave and watched her give a fake salute on her way out.

“I need to call her more,” Val said. “Well, boys, I have to get ready for the long drive home. Thanks for the food and the fun memories.”

“It all went by so fast,” I said sadly.

“Time flies.” Val gathered Mary’s dishes with her own and brought them to the kitchen, then I heard her ascend the stairs, leaving me with the familiar scene of breakfast alone with my boyfriend.

“Hey hon,” I began. Robert hummed and met my eyes as he chewed a big piece of turkey. “Craig asked me to go out to a bar with him tonight, do you mind if I go?”

“You’ll be drinking?” Robert asked, still chewing.

“Almost certainly,” I said with a nod.

“Sure, go have fun. Just one request though, could you keep the smell of booze away from me?” He frowned in uncomfortable disgust. “Even being around Mary was a lot.”

“It was?” I took a deep sniff, but only smelled our food.

“It was faint, but still there.” He rubbed his temples and sighed. “I wasn’t really ready for it and I’m craving a beer now.”

“You think you’ll be alright?”

“I’ll be okay.”

“Alright. You wanna do anything today?”

 

* * *

 

From: Craig  
_Pick you up at 7:30!  
?_

To: Craig  
_7:30 works great._

Craig rang the doorbell promptly at seven thirty. I glanced outside before opening the door for him, and he stepped in after stomping his shoes on the doormat.

“Hey bro, you ready to go?” he asked with an eager smile. He had a blue hoodie on that was a size too large, making him look years younger.

“Hell yeah! Let’s rock this city.”

“Nobody says that,” Craig chuckled. “You should bundle up. It’s only getting colder out and we gotta start walking.”

I froze while pulling a thick winter coat on. “We’re walking?”

Craig shot a surprised look, his eyebrows high and an eye squinted. “Well yeah, I’m not driving drunk, are you?”

“Uh… no.”

Somehow it had escaped me that if Craig and I were both drinking, we’d need a designated driver. So much for staying warm.

“It’s not that far, come on,” Craig said, waving me along with him.

I stepped out into the frigid air, and the first breath was uncomfortably cold. “But my delicate joints will ache.”

“Could be worse, could be snowing.”

“You might jinx it if you say something like that.”

We traded smalltalk for a while. My teeth began chattering by the time we made it to _Jim and Kim’s_ of all places.

“I heard things both good and bad about this place, it seemed like it’d be fun,” Craig said.

Little did he know this was where the rest of my life began.

We took a back booth by draping our coats over the seats and ordered from the bar.

“Two Bud Lights,” Craig said with a peace sign.

“Three shots of whiskey,” I said.

“Whoa,” Craig exclaimed. “I didn’t know we weren’t playing games. Nevermind on the Buds, give me three shots of whiskey, too.”

Back at the booth with our drinks, I raised one and Craig clinked his shot glass against mine. I downed it, the burn familiar, unpleasant, and welcome all at once. Craig did the same and grimaced after.

“Good stuff,” he rasped. “Haven’t had a drink in a long time.”

“I haven’t either, ever since Robert quit. How was Thanksgiving?”

“It was awesome!” Craig grinned ear to ear. “Ashley made this great honey ham and some paleo stuff.”

“Paleo stuff? For Thanksgiving?”

“I know, sounds like an oxymoron, but she made this great fake cornbread stuffing, stuffed mushrooms, uh…” Craig’s eyes wandered in thought. “Mashed cauliflower… a paleo apple pie somehow…” He waved it off and picked up another shot. “Ahh, I won’t bore you with the menu.”

“That sounds pretty good.”

“The kids had a great time, too.” Craig downed the shot and slammed his eyes shut. _“God,_ that smarts.”

I picked up a shot and downed it, the burn going down much easier than it did for poor Craig. “Not a whiskey guy, I see?”

“No, not at all. I’m kind of regretting it.”

I shrugged and played with the empty shot glass, flipping it on its side and rolling it around on the table. “You can tap out if you want, I won’t judge.”

Craig frowned and narrowed his gaze. “Aw, why’d you gotta put it like that? Now it’s more like a challenge.”

“It really isn’t—”

Craig grabbed the third shot and slammed it, shaking his head vigorously afterward. “Fuck, bro. Alright, I drank your damn shot. Let’s just do beer now.”

“If you say so,” I chuckled. “You really didn’t have to do all three so fast.”

After around half an hour of alternating glasses of water and bottles of beer, I was starting to feel the buzz.

I slapped the table and said, “I’m ready, hit me.”

Craig stared with one eyebrow raised. He looked a bit distant. The whiskey might have hit him harder than it hit me. “Why do you want me to hit you?”

“No, I – let’s play our game.”

“Ohhhh,” Craig said, his lips curling up. “I forgot about that.” Definitely hit him harder. “Okay, uh…” He took a swig of beer. “My – I – uhh. Hold on. My … daughter…”

“Uh huh…?”

“Is suuuuper smart, like. Wow,” he said, his hands outstretched in meaningless emphasis. “She’s probably gonna be an honor student.”

“Which daughter?”

“Brrrrrrrriar…? Yeah. Briar,” Craig said, still sounding a bit uncertain.

“And Hazel?”

“She’s an evil genius, but in a not as uh… not as…”

“Are you okay?” I asked, failing to suppress a laugh.

“Yeah, I’m fine!” Craig said. His cheeks were looking a bit rosy. “Your turn.”

He never finished his thought, but I’ll let it slide. “I… am…” I didn’t remember this game being so hard. “An… awesome baker…?”

“Really,” Craig began. “What’s your signature dish?”

“I like… making… pumpkin…” The word escaped me – it was _right there._ It wasn’t pie, or cake, but it began with—“Crisp?”

“Is it paleo?”

“Not even remotely,” I said enthusiastically.

“Damn,” Craig murmured, drooping over in disappointment. “I can bench waaaaaay more than you, now,” he said, making a sweeping gesture with a hand that didn’t seem to go with what he’d said.

“I know, and I hate it.” Come to think of it, I’d never be able to explain a sudden change in fitness to him…

“Ha! So… I got one on you!” he yelled, loudly enough that someone nearby glared over their shoulder at him.

I bowed my head in defeat and said, “Alright, alright, I’m drinkin,’” as I poured some beer in a shot glass. I downed it easily and slammed it on the table, still feeling pretty buzzed but not cripplingly so.

“Hit me.”

“Um… I have… a smokin’ hot boyfriend.” I nodded vigorously and pointed at Craig. “Do you? Hmm? Didn’t think so.”

Craig laid his head on the back of his seat. “Noooo, fuck. And I don’t have a smokin’ hot girlfriend, either. You got me.”

I lazily cradled my head in a hand while I watched Craig pour a shot. “When did we get so lame, bro?”

“What?”

“All we can think of is shit like, ‘my daughter is the smartest’ and ‘my boyfriend is so hot.’ Remember your best brag of all time? Wasn’t it something like… five chicks in six days?”

“That was a lie, man,” Craig said flatly.

“I knew it!” I flung a hand forward to point accusingly and knocked my beer bottle over. “I knew you were full of shit.”

Craig just bit his lip to hide a smile. “I made you drink three shots for that one.”

“Fuck off. I still remember that hangover.”

Craig almost spat up his shot of beer and laughed through his nose until he could swallow it.

“Whatever.”

“Hey, does this place like… have food? Or is it just booze?” Craig asked. “I’m really hungry…”

“No, it just has booze.”

“Aw man. I want like… a sandwich or something.” Craig was starting to slur – probably an indication we should stop.

“Let’s go get burgers, or pizza,” I suggested. “You know, hangover killers.”

“That’s the smartest thing you’ve said all night, bro.”

 

* * *

 

The moon was high in the sky by the time I helped Craig stumble to his front door, his arm slung over my shoulder.

“Just like old times, huh bro?” I asked as I patted him on the arm.

Craig was still slurring his phrases together. “Juuuus’ like old times,” he murmured. “‘Cept with less fish abduction.”

“Or good ol’ Carl.”

Craig fumbled with his keys until he managed to jam the right one in. He put too much weight on the door, and it flung wide open under him. “Whoa!” he exclaimed.

“Craig!” I clawed at the air to grab him and stop from stumbling and landing face first on the floor, but he caught himself and gradually sunk to his knees as he cackled madly in the dark foyer.

“Oh my god! Just like old times. We should do this again, bro!”

I laughed nervously and gave him a once over to see if he’d been injured. “You gonna be okay alone?”

Craig waved me off with a smile. “Come on, I’ll be fine. It was great hanging out.”

“Okay, drink a big glass of water before you go to sleep.”

“Goodnight,” Craig said, without moving from where he sat, even as I locked the door behind me and slowly swung it shut until the locks clicked.

Now to get the smell of _Jim and Kim’s_ off me, somehow.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please see end of chapter notes for a notice of potentially triggering content. Do be advised this notice is a spoiler.

The day of reckoning had finally come. I’d spent it alone, unable to focus on anything for long and constantly glancing at a clock in neurotic anticipation. I’d picked out a loose shirt and donned my yoga pants – tight clothing might not be a great idea if my entire body would be transforming. Now, as the hour was upon me, I sat on my couch, nervously wringing my hands as sundown approached, my heart pounding in my chest and the cheesy romcom on TV forgotten.

Soon, my boyfriend would sink his teeth into me, and I’d – probably – turn into a werewolf. I had been so certain I wanted it not even a few days ago, but the reality of it was sinking in again. I’d have to deal with the same urges Robert did, the same lifespan he now had, the same fate of outliving everyone I cared about. All of it weighed heavy on my heart.

If I chickened out, I’d have to wait a whole month, and a lot could happen in a month. A lot _did_ happen just this last month. I probably could wait, but there was the little voice in my head telling me that I might regret it if I did.

The waiting finally got to me after the sun setting plunged the town into twilight. My feet felt like lead as I walked over to Robert’s house and stood on the porch, almost afraid to knock. A minute, five minutes: I wasn’t sure how long I stayed still, but I started in surprise when Robert opened the door before I could knock.

He looked a bit ragged around the edges – like he hadn’t slept, with red-rimmed eyes and messy scruff, a loose, blue shirt practically hanging on him. I imagined I didn’t look much better, and I had dressed similarly.

“Uh… hi,” he awkwardly said.

“Hey.”

We stared for a few moments before Robert beckoned me in. The living room was dark – all the blinds and drapes were drawn. There was a plate of sliced meats on the bar next to the couches. Betsy was nowhere to be found.

I didn’t know what to do with myself, so I paused, stock still in the middle of the room.

“You look tired,” he murmured.

I turned to my left to see him approaching slowly, and my eyes darted up to meet his. “That’s one way to put it,” I said with a shrug.

Robert curled an arm around my back, and I leaned into the warm contact that came so easy to us now. “Let’s just sit down.”

He led me to his couch, and we sat pressed against each other, though I left my hands clasped in my lap.

“You uh… seem to be favoring dim light these days,” I said to break the ice.

One of Robert’s eyebrows raised. “I have?”

“Today at least, and basically whenever you’re in a sour mood.”

“Oh, that was depression darkness,” he said. “This is discretion darkness.”

My lips curled up, though I didn’t feel like laughing. “Nice alliteration.”

“You’re nervous,” he said. “Talk to me.”

“What is there to say?” I threw my hands up in defeat. “You’re gonna bite me, it’s gonna hurt, and… I’m gonna become a werewolf, like you.”

Robert gently stroked a hand down my back. The touch was enough – for now – and I relaxed a smidge, turning to more fully face him. He looked _exhausted._

“It’s a lot to process, Rob – are you okay? You look like you haven’t slept in days.”

“I’ve… had some trouble sleeping, from… let’s call it enthusiasm, just to put a positive spin on it.” He tried to meet my eyes, but I diverted them to look at the bookshelf. “Are you having second thoughts?” he asked quietly.

“Well… no,” I started. “I was really excited at first. I still am, I mean. But right now, I’m more nervous than I am excited.”

“That seems reasonable,” he said. “I imagine anyone would feel that way in your situation.”

I looked at his face, though not in his eyes. “The uncertainty of everything is the worst. Or maybe it’s more imagining what could go wrong. Maybe you don’t bite right, and then it just hurts, or I go berserk and…”

“Tohru told me that he thinks it just has to draw blood, but that’s all.”

I laughed against my will, a nervously shrill laugh. “Oh, okay, it _just_ has to draw blood. That’s great.”

Robert eyes widened with concern and he frowned. “Hey, hey, it—I’m sorry, it was _supposed_ to be comforting by making it sound simple.”

“I… guess I can see that. Don’t worry about it,” I said. “And, uh… what about the berserk thing?”

“I’ll be right here the whole time.”

I let out a sigh and looked away, idly toward the perky succulents on Robert’s table. This wasn’t particularly helpful for dismantling my apprehension.

“You remember the night I turned?”

I locked eyes with Robert; he looked sad and concerned, like he was convinced I’d back out and desperately wanted me to ask for the bite. “Yeah. Every moment of it.”

“When you held me, for that brief moment of contact I felt safe, and I felt like I could fight it off,” Robert said. He took my hand between his and stroked the back. “If you hadn’t let go, I’m sure I wouldn’t have ran off. You’re a lot… stronger of will, I guess, than I am.”

I laughed once and said, “I don’t know about that.”

“Whatever, point is… I can’t promise that it’ll be a hundred percent fine, but I can promise I’ll be right here.”

I didn’t know what to say. Deep in my heart was a yearning for him that I couldn’t explain away by calling it mere love. It drove me toward him inexorably; _all I wanted was him,_ and yet the logistics of it were making me question it all. Immortality seemed so daunting now that it was within such easy grasp, but I wanted it if I had it with him, and pain wasn’t appealing, no matter the source. I didn’t want to cause any pain either. So much could go wrong, both now and down the line…

Robert sighed and looped his arm around my shoulder. “I love you, Matt,” he said quietly, soulfully. “I love you, very dearly. I know that I might live for… centuries, now. I don’t know, none of the others know for sure.” His gaze fell away from mine and he looked down at our hands in sad contemplation. “I’ve been thinking about this, too. I know it’s one thing to want to spend your life with me. It’s another to want to spend _my_ life with me.”

“I just… don’t want this to go wrong, you know. Living forever is intimidating too, but…”

“You don’t have to say yes. It won’t change anything between us if you don’t.”

I gaped in awe. “Really?”

Robert slowly nodded. “I mean it. It would be colossally shitty of me to hold it against you. Take your time with the decision, if you want to. It’s fine. I can wait.”

I let out a long sigh and relaxed into the couch. “Well… I feel a lot better, knowing we’ll be okay if I decide not to do this.”

So much to think about, and so little time until the moon rose. At least being the gay werewolf couple living in a quiet cul de sac sounded charming in its own way. The kind of charming you can never tell another living soul about.

Robert tapped his phone on the table to call up the time. “I’m gonna turn any second now.”

“If you bit me tonight… how would we pass the time?”

Robert scratched his beard. “I don’t know… cuddle? Watch a movie? I…”

“Yeah?”

Robert looked tiny and uncertain when he turned back to me. “Fuck, I don’t really care _what_ we do. I just want to spend my life with you, you know?” he murmured.

…Asking to bite me sounded a lot like the kind of permanency marriage used to hold, back in the day. Something in my chest bloomed in a lovely, consuming warmth. It called to me, begging me to say yes. It drew me to lay a hand on his back and take his hands in the other as I gazed in his beautiful eyes. “Robert…”

“Yes…?”

I swallowed around nothing, my mouth feeling dry as I whispered, “Will you marry me?”

His eyes slowly widened, and he sat straight up in surprise. I hadn’t exactly intended to ask so soon, and now my heart raced, and I felt faint. Every second of silence felt like agony as I awaited his answer. I expected rejection, but… that’d be okay. He told me months ago he wasn’t ready, and if it was too early to ask, that’d—

“Yes.”

“W-what?”

A few tears dropped down Robert’s cheeks. “I said _yes._ I want to be with you, Matt, I want to marry you.”

I gaped in astonishment and couldn’t say anything at all. I cupped his jaw and kissed him firmly, passionately, like he were what kept me going every day, or he were the wind in my sails.

Robert pulled away, his face a bit wet, and he stroked my neck, then suddenly groaned and reared back, gasping as he doubled over, head in hands as the beast took him and changed him before my very eyes. He snarled as claws grew in, bones popped, and fangs took shape, barely visible in the shadows.

When he stopped convulsing and relaxed – kind of – half on the floor and draped over the edge of the couch, I knelt on the floor and took him between my arms to tenderly hug him.

“Hey, it’s okay,” I said.

I slowly rocked Robert back and forth, and he nuzzled my neck and rubbed his beard against me. He was so sweet and affectionate when he turned…

Fuck it.

“Bite me.”

Robert pulled away and looked in my eyes in shock. “Huh?”

“Just – just bite me, before I can think about it anymore.”

He searched me with a furrowed brow and a slight frown. “But—”

“Do it,” I insisted. “I’d rather live with the consequences of doing it than the consequences of not doing it. Bite me and get it over—”

I let out a loud yelp and my pulse doubled as Robert dove in and plunged his fangs into my shoulder, my body seizing up as I felt blood trickle down my back and my clavicle. I clutched his shirt and tried to relax into the stabbing pain, to let him turn me or whatever we needed to do, but I could only gasp every few moments as I gripped him tight, his shirt riding up and his warm, hairy back under my fingers.

It’d be over soon, at least. I just had to pass some time as the change took me.

“Okay, let go,” I gritted out. Robert released me and wiped red off his lips with the back of his shirt sleeve. “I – now what. I think – maybe stop the bleeding…”

Robert pulled a med kit out from under the table and brushed away some of the mess with an iodine wipe. After that, all I could really focus on doing was holding a thick gauze pad on the wound.

My heart raced as reality set in; not only had Robert chomped hard enough to leave sharp indents that would surely scar if this didn’t work, but if this _did_ work… who knows what kind of urges I’d have to deal with.

_I need to either kill, fight, or fuck something,_ he had said months ago. I hoped to God I wouldn’t do any of those.

“It’ll be okay,” Robert said. He held me in his arms with his hands under my shirt, stroking them down me.

Should I tell Amanda? How will I explain never getting older to her?

“Just hold me, Matt. It’ll be okay.”

How will I explain anything to anyone?

“Oh god, Rob, what if this was a mistake?”

_“It’s not,”_ he insisted.

“It – it isn’t a mistake,” I said with a grimace. “This isn’t a mistake.” The wound in made me wince every few moments.

Robert guided me onto the couch and turned the TV on to start a movie. I held on tight as I reminded myself that I did this for love – if I did this for Robert – then it wasn’t a mistake.

The bare and vulnerable stare on my boyfriend’s face came out of nowhere and tore at my heart. “Do you – do you mean that?”

“What?” I asked, bewildered. “Did I say something?”

“You said that nothing you do for me could ever be a mistake.”

My insomnia-addled state meant I needed a moment to parse the sentence. “Nothing I do for… I – of course I mean it,” I said. The gauze was soaked already, and my fingers were staining.

Robert sniffed and wiped his face off on a sleeve. “I’m tired of crying, man, cut it out,” he whined, then he sighed and said, “I wish this didn’t have to hurt you…”

“Fuckin’… me too.” I tossed the ruined gauze to the side and groped in the medical box for another pad.

“Hon, put more gauze on top instead of ripping it off,” Robert said.

“What? Oh. I’ll do that with the next pad I guess.” I wasn’t paying any attention to the movie, and it was already well through the first scene. Some lady was in a firefight with a Russian agent or something already. It was always Russians for some reason.

I was starting to get a headache from tension in my neck, which only made following the story harder. Robert stayed curled around my belly while I tended the wound.

“How long did it take again?” I asked. I felt a bit dizzy, but I couldn’t have lost enough blood for that.

“Like… an hour and a half?” Robert said, sounding entirely uncertain.

My vision occasionally doubled; watching a movie was a lost cause and we were far enough in now that recovering the story was impossible. I began feeling clammy – maybe from the bite taking hold, or maybe from the impending life-changing transformation – and my stomach was upset despite not eating since noon. Robert hadn’t let go of me, which was all the better – he was the only thing anchoring me to relative calm.

“Did you feel like you were dying?” I slurred. How long it had been was lost upon me.

“A bit.” Robert pulled away and looked down at the bite wound, then laid a palm on my forehead. “Why?”

“Just—” A sudden thirst hit me, and without looking at Robert I stood to go to the kitchen—

“Matt?”

My vision swam and I fell to my knees. “Oh god,” I murmured, turning into a gurgle that barely sounded human escaping my throat as the roiling in my gut reached an apex. A searing heat spread through my body and—

“Oh,” Robert said in realization, sounding halfway across the house.

Terrifying convulsions overtook me, and I couldn’t see as I shook and groaned, my every joint popping and cracking, my fingertips and feet hurting, something forcing my jaw open…

I growled, louder and louder as the world spun and something – _no, I knew what it was_ – compelled me to fling myself into the wild and run as fast as inhumanly possible.

A vision of a divine forest filled my mind – the image of lush, green trees flying past me, the ten dozen smells of the natural world filling my nostrils, the soft rustling of leaves and pattering feet of _prey_ on the loamy ground urging me outside.

I needed to leave – to run, to hunt, _to kill, to rend, slaughter, devour my—_

“Matt…” said a soothing voice.

A hand grasping mine wrenched me out of my vivid hallucination and I tumbled back to earth, finding myself draped unceremoniously over a hardwood table, my body aching and shaking as I glanced up at a blurry man.

“Hey,” he said, his fingers holding me with a tenderness that warmed my heart and pulled at me as much as the phantasmal forest did.

When my eyes finally focused on the figure above me, I said, “Robert?” before running my tongue over my new fangs in curiosity.

“Watching that kind of scared me.” He laid another hand on me – on my neck – and I whimpered as the soft touch drew me further away from the tantalizing forest and closer to him. The warm contact seemed to stay the shudders, if only slightly.

My surroundings felt both familiar and alien. Against my cheek, the table. In front of me, the puffy potted plants. _Plants. I should be outside in the forest._ A hairy hand lay on the table, splayed out and clawed. I flexed my fingers and it responded—

_“Do not_ scratch up my table,” Robert warned, curling around my chest and lifting me into a hug on his couch. He laughed – a wonderful laugh that felt comforting and calming – and said, “I get enough of that from Betsy as it is.”

In his arms I could almost think clearly, but the insatiable drive to run among nature’s bounties was strong. My chest heaved and my heart beat a frantic pace as every few moments I resisted tearing away to flee. And yet, I closed my eyes and nuzzled his neck instead, hands under his shirt to cling to his furry back, though there was an uncomfortable urge – a darker impulse – to rip off his clothes and ravish him until I was senseless, whether he wanted me to or not.

It was deeply unsettling, and I felt terribly guilty over its presence while blood began flowing toward my manhood.

But Robert smelled so wonderful; traces of sandalwood, minty aftershave, a few other smells I’d never experienced before – all of them were him. All of them were my lover.

“Wow, you’re affectionate today. And your beard is really soft.”

With Robert wrapped around me I could barely draw a quivering hand away from him, but I carded my fingers through my beard to find it had thickened, though somehow it was smooth and gentle on my fingers. I pricked my cheekbone with a claw by accident, and I opened my eyes to stare at a hand covered in brown hair that did not look like mine. What a strange feeling.

The diversion didn’t last long: I couldn’t focus on anything for longer than a few seconds.

“You’re… not okay, are you?” Robert asked with concern in his tone. “You’re shaking pretty badly.”

I held back the urge to claw up his back and rut into him, and I tried to say something, but out came a gurgle instead as my eyes rolled back. When I forced them toward him, Robert was staring at me with a fearful look.

“Matt? Honey, you’re gonna be all right,” he murmured as he petted my back with more love than I felt I deserved. “Just focus on me, okay?”

My head jerked to stare at the plants on the table against my will, then toward the windows blocked by blinds – _but there were more plants, animals, and fresh air behind those blinds. I just had to get outside somehow._

Robert hugged me tight enough that breaking away wasn’t a realistic endeavor – to trap me, to stop me from doing what I needed to do.

I felt lightheaded from my panting breath as I shivered and held back the drive to fight him. “Rob, you gotta let me go,” I choked out, in a gruff voice I didn’t know. “I can’t… control myself…”

“Look in my eyes,” he said, and he held me so our foreheads knocked together. His beautiful eyes that glowed like pools of sunlit honey were blurry this close, but it barely helped.

“It’s too strong,” I said with a grimace, my legs restlessly twitching and my shaft begging to be touched. I slammed my eyes shut, but I could still see the ethereal forest of wolves calling to me in my head.

Robert strained to grab something without letting go of me, and presented a raw—

I ripped it out of his hand with a growl and violently bit down into the juicy cut of meat, tearing it to pieces and swallowing it with barely a second thought. _“God,_ that tasted good,” I said. My tongue kept licking my fangs, so unfamiliar now to it. “Not as good as it _should have…”_

Robert looked a bit perturbed when I finally tore my attention away from trying to stare through the blinds at the wilderness that lay beyond them.

“How long has it been?” I choked out. There was a clock on the wall, but the numbers on it may as well be cuneiform for how much sense they made right now.

“About fifteen minutes?” Robert said slowly. He pulled up my shirt enough to plaster his arms against my bare skin and I whimpered from how _good_ he felt, from how badly I needed to _plunge my cock deep in him._

“Fuck,” I said quietly. I thrust my crotch against his thigh and the friction was so wonderful I kept going for a few moments. “Maybe you could just let me out for a few minutes? Please?”

“No,” he said sternly.

I let out an impatient whimper. “Honey, please. Please, I need to go out, or – or—”

“Or… what?” he asked, after I didn’t finish.

“I—I gotta—I gotta go out or else I—or—”

He looked pallid and had a defeated droop to his face when I looked him in the eyes – like he already knew exactly what the other half of my clunky statement was. “Or what?”

For a moment I could only bite my lip as my aching cock throbbed with want against his tummy. “I have this – this awful need to just _fuck,”_ I said with great hesitation and a churning sickness in my gut.

“It’s okay,” he cooed, with a hand laid soothingly on my shoulder. “I felt it, too, when I changed. It’s okay if you need to fuck somebody—”

_“No!_ Not _somebody,_ need to fuck _you,_ only you, only ever you, only want you,” I rambled without thinking as I grabbed his shirt and locked eyes with him. “Need _you_ , want _you_ , no one else, ever. _Ever.”_

At least his lips turned up in a smile. “You have no idea how flattering that _somehow_ is,” he said, chuckling a bit.

“I feel terrible about it, about needing it so bad.” It seemed all I could think about now was him – about our hard bodies coiled together, my cock sliding in him, shooting my load in him, filling him, and taking him, and _making him mine forever._ About merging with him as one body in ecstasy under the full moon’s raw power. My underwear felt uncomfortably damp now.

Robert didn’t say anything for a few moments. I glanced around and noticed the movie was still going before I stared at the windows again.

“If you _really_ need to,” Robert started.

My heart skipped a beat and the beast nearly gave me whiplash from how fast it turned my head back toward him. “If I need to what?”

His hesitation was plain as day even in my addled state. “If you really need to fuck me—”

_“Please,”_ I shamelessly begged, thrusting my manhood into his thigh again and burying my face in his neck to smell him before rearing back to look at his face again. “Wait—you don’t want it, do you?” I’d never forgive myself if I forced it on him, werewolf or not, and his voice had no conviction. “I don’t – I’m not just gonna take it from you…”

One of Robert’s hands smoothed up my back and I shivered under it. He grabbed my neck and slowly, though awkwardly mashed our lips together in a kiss made graceless by my fangs as I tried not to bite him by accident. “It’s okay,” he said under his breath when he pulled away.

My body ground my cock into him against my will. “Don’t just say that, I’ll – I’ll live, probably.”

“It’s _okay,”_ he said again.

_“Stop saying that,”_ I cried out, tears welling up from frustration. The urges were too strong to hold back, now, and the thing in me compelled my hands to start removing Robert’s shirt. “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“If it’ll keep you with me tonight, I’m okay with it,” Robert said as he trailed his fingers so gently down my spine it tingled. “I promise.”

I let out a sob and slammed my eyes shut as I grabbed his butt without wanting to.

“Matt, give yourself over to the wolf… at least for a bit,” Robert whispered to me. “Take me like an animal.”

The floodgates opened and I surged forward to kiss him hard and hungry. I moaned loud and Robert toppled backward off the couch from the force, taking me with him with a thud when we hit the floor. He curled around me tight and snaked a hand into my yoga pants to knead my ass while I grasped at his shoulders and sucked on his tongue.

With a gasp I pulled away and said, “Rob, please, I need to be inside you,” shamelessly begging him.

Robert nibbled on my lip and licked my cheek. “Soon,” he said simply, with a smile in his voice.

I reared back and fumbled with the drawstring of my pants, but my claws got in the way and every second I wasn’t touching Robert made my body itch with an intense need to run wild. He reached for my hands and grabbed one while he gently undid the knot with the other. The itch disappeared in a strange wave of relative calm barely holding back the tenacious beast.

Robert pulled down my yoga pants, letting my manhood aching for attention spring free. The wolf forced me to line my cock up with Robert’s ass, but Robert pushed me back to sit on my butt before it got any further.

“Whoa, mister wolf, calm down,” Robert chuckled, smoothing a palm over my frantically beating heart. “I need to get ready before Matt can have his fun.”

“Sorry,” I said, my face burning hot. “Sorry, sorry.”

Robert slowly peeled my shirt off, too, static crackling as he did from it sticking to my fur. “I wasn’t talking to you, I know it’s not your fault.”

I shuddered and held back the impetus to tackle him as he guided my hands around him to strip his shirt, and I stared hungrily as I exposed his muscular, furry body from his midriff upward. The loose shirt easily slid off his arms stretched above him and over his head, and he smiled, his pointy ears wiggling from the grin.

“God, I need you so bad,” I said, my heart aching and the wolf howling in my soul, both of us desperate to take my lover and _only_ my lover.

Robert stood and hefted me to my feet, curling around me and planting a soft kiss on my cheek. The fur on my back made it feel a bit strange, and I hugged him tight, my chest against his, and I let out a sigh of relief as the contact gave me a slight reprieve from all the urges hitting me at once.

It was enough that I could appreciate just holding him for a moment with my face buried in his neck as I smelled him with a slow, deep inhale. It was also a needed reminder that despite the urges, I’m still just a man.

“You feel bigger,” Robert said, and he kissed my cheek. “I like it.” He ran his arms up and down my back through the coat of hair. “And I really like all this.”

I closed my eyes as I held him, as he held me in a tender embrace, and I kept more tears at bay. I didn’t deserve someone like Robert, who so openly loved me when a monster within was only interested in staking a claim on him. My tongue wouldn’t form the words I needed to say, and instead I let out a quiet growl.

“Let’s go upstairs, now,” he said. I clung to him and my humanity as he tried to step back, making me slowly shuffle toward the staircase. “I guess this is my comeuppance for my first full moon with you, isn’t it?”

The stairs were a major nuisance; he walked backward up them so we were on different stairs just so I could hug him all the way up. He stroked my upper arms with a bit of sheepishness, though I liked that my face was in his furry chest the whole time we stepped up each stair in unison. It was ironically easier – though minimally – to keep the horn dog under control the more bare skin was touching.

“How much longer?” I asked as patiently as I could manage when we made it to his room.

Robert locked the door behind me – even though we were the only ones here – and grabbed a lubricant tube from the dresser. “Just a bit more.”

_Now_ it was harder – both my cock and staying in control. With sex so close I couldn’t stop myself from rutting into him and nuzzling against his neck, or from sneaking my hands into his loose pants.

Robert gently pushed me onto the chair in the corner and knelt between my legs. He laid a hand on my tummy heaving with every breath and ran his fingers through the hair everywhere. My cock stood straight, constantly leaking precum in front of him, though he paid more attention to my body than it.

I reached for Robert, and he rubbed his head against my palm with his eyes closed in contentment. The snap of the tube cap broke the relative silence, and he squirted some onto his right hand. Curiously, I watched as his claws retracted, or disappeared, or… something. Whatever it was, he reached for his ass and started fingering himself.

“Please,” I begged again, for him – for anything from him.

Robert took my cock in hand with a big grin and waved me around a bit before licking from my nut sack to the tip. My toes curled and I gripped the chair; watching my gorgeous boyfriend start working my manhood with fangs out should have been scary, but I only felt more turned on.

He kissed the tip, wrapping his lips around the crown, and sucked while he wrung out more precum to eat. The sweet relief almost tingled in my shaft, and then he pulled off to lick and kiss the sides.

“Oh god, take every inch, please,” I whined, still shuddering in my seat as I grasped the chair and combed my fingers through his messy hair. This was a good start, but I knew being blown wasn’t what I needed. I thrust upward, trying to aim in his mouth and get him to suck me, but he dragged his lips, fangs, and tongue along the side instead.

Robert kept teasing me by burying his face to smell me while he sucked on my balls. _God,_ I needed him on my cock so bad. His tongue slicking up my nuts felt fantastic and my shaft throbbed.

“Please, please suck my dick,” I begged, gently guiding his head toward the tip. He let off my balls with a quiet kissing sound and finally let me push him onto my manhood, opening wide to engulf me in the warm, toothy wetness of his mouth. “Oh god,” I moaned as he looked in my eyes and pulled me deep, sucking up and down my shaft. I couldn’t keep from pushing up in shallow thrusts to fuck his lips a bit.

Robert moaned and rubbed my furry tummy while he swallowed my cock. He still fingered himself while he patted me, his tongue licking the tip of my dick when he sucked to the end to eat more precum.

“Fuck,” I whispered. Robert swirled his lips in a kiss around the head of my cock and I shuddered hard, my head hitting the back of the chair. My toes curled again, and my legs twitched, but even this wouldn’t be enough. I needed to bury myself in him and I didn’t know why. I wanted to cum so bad – I could envision the throbbing spurts of jizz shooting all over his scruffy face and outstretched tongue – but it wasn’t coming.

With my lips pursed, I watched Robert work my cock while he wriggled his pants lower, his fingers still buried in his asshole. Watching my dick slide between his lips and fangs was breathtaking, and every few moments it pulsed from how close to cumming I was. He played with my hairy nuts and moaned around me as he made love to my big cock with exquisite and deft sucks and swallows.

When Robert pulled off with a lick to the crown, I nearly pushed him down on me again. “I’ve been ready for a bit, I think,” he said, and my excitement stole my breath.

I let out a strangled squeak and said, “You have? I need to fuck you so bad…”

Robert grinned and rubbed my thigh and tummy. “I’m aware. You know how much I love sucking your dick, I just wanted to savor it.”

He stood, his loose pants sliding to the floor to bare his rock-hard dick and curled around me to bodily lift me off the chair. I wrapped tight around him and pressed my shaft against his tummy to thrust against _something, anything._ His lips met mine in a hungry, possessive kiss that made my knees weak and my heart flutter. I vaguely registered him walking me somewhere until gravity shifted from under me to in front of me, and Robert hit the bed with me still on him and my legs crossed under his butt.

“Ow!” I yelped, though the ache in my shins dissipated rapidly.

“Get off me for a sec?” Robert asked.

I shifted to let him slide up the bed, my dick dragging through his belly fur. His dark, thick beard and untamed hair framed a devastatingly handsome face. He looked like a beautiful wild animal and I couldn’t wait to take him.

“Hope you can tell I’m into this, by now,” he said. His tongue poked out between his fangs as he snapped open the lube and slicked up my cock.

I sat obediently on his thighs and watched him twist his wet fingers around my dick. He tossed the lube aside and slid his legs out from under me. I had to lift myself off him, and he hooked his arms under his knees to bare his perfect asshole.

“God damn,” I said with a violent shiver as I held back the beast from just taking him.

“Come on, Matt,” he whispered in as sultry a tone as I’d ever heard. “Take me like a fuckin’ animal.”

My fingers flew to the hilt of my dick and his furry butt cheek to hastily guide me into him. The wolf demanded fast, but I fought it off and kept it slow, watching his hole first wrap around the head as I pushed, then slide down my shaft inch by inch, until I buried myself deep and his hairy body rubbed my furry thighs.

I wanted to say something sexy, but I could only growl as I dove in to pin him to the bed and thrust hard.

My hands roamed over him, holding tight anywhere I could as his ass hugged my cock, my nuts hitting his body with every effortless thrust. I moaned into it and slammed my eyes shut. Robert let out a pained groan, but said, “Don’t stop.”

The animal in me flourished as sweat poured off me, as the bed creaked under my thrusts, as my frantic kisses met his lips, his jaw, his neck and shoulders. I felt less and less like a man with every deep thrust into my lover, and more like a beast as I inched closer to sweet relief.

Another low growl, from Robert this time, right in my ear as I dragged my hands down his biceps. I couldn’t talk, could hardly see as my pace stuttered and the pleasure built and spread from my cock out to my whole body.

I huffed out a noisy breath as the throbbing hit me and shuddered as my nuts drew up and emptied into Robert’s ass. My warm cum pumped deep, his butthole almost fluttering around my manhood as I filled him and clung so close it emptied my lungs. Every pulse shot a rope, the pleasure of it – both physical and mental – utterly blinding. I couldn’t think as my cock just, kept, throbbing.

I pumped more, and more, and _more_ cum inside him while I growled, while _he_ growled, the golden warmth spreading through my chest as the feeling of claiming him as _mine_ washed over me like a tsunami engulfs a coastline.

The last few throbs were almost the sweetest, and I collapsed on him, letting out a spent sigh as I nestled my face in his neck and smelled deep, his arms loosely looped around me.

Over the next few moments it felt like a fog was lifting and I could think clearly again. The wolf seemed sated. Calm. The urges subsided to something I could mostly ignore.

“Wow,” I said breathlessly. His body felt so full of cum – breeding him was a sublime primal pleasure that made me feel like purring. I pumped so much jizz in my boyfriend that some had dripped down my balls, heightening the sensation of completely filling him.

“Ow,” Robert said with an audible grimace.

“What’s wrong?” I reared back to look at him—

An assortment of scrapes, nail indents, and bite marks covered his upper body and face. They looked a bit sore, and he trailed a hand along a pec to catalogue them.

A chill spread through my chest and the blood drained from my face. “Oh god…”

Robert winced as he stretched a bicep. “It looks worse than it actually is.”

“I – I didn’t—”

“It’s okay,” Robert cut in. He trailed a finger down a tooth mark on his cheek. “Here,” he said as he curled around me to drag me into a hug.

“No.” I started pulling away and out of him.

“Don’t pull out,” Robert said calmly, pawing at my biceps and using his legs to push my cock back inside him. “Don’t pull out,” he repeated. “I want you to hold me.” His dimly lit eyes pleading drew me in again and I laid my hands on his chest.

“But… I mauled you.”

He let out a laugh and gently palmed my upper arms. “You didn’t ‘maul’ me. I’ve had rough sex before, just…”

It seemed like he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words.

“Matt… I love you very deeply,” he finally said, quietly and slowly, his eyes locked with mine. I felt compelled to rub his furry chest, and his heart beat strong under my fingers. “Stay here with me.”

I let out a sad sigh that broke my voice a bit. One of his hands slid down to my wrist and guided my palm to his beat-up shoulder.

“I know you wanna give me some TLC.” He smiled, and my lips turned up.

What could I do but tenderly smooth my hands over him anywhere I found marks. “Are you okay?” I asked. There was a gash on his neck that looked angry and red, and I ran a thumb next to it.

“Yeah. It’ll heal quick.”

I slouched a bit and my face drooped as I palmed his beefy biceps with claw marks on them. “I mean like – I don’t want to make you feel used, or…”

“I don’t.” He watched me card my fingers through the dense hair on his firm belly. “Come on,” he began. “We’re – how could I feel used after you asked to marry me?” he asked, sounding nervous and awkward.

That didn’t make all that much sense. I guess even he couldn’t completely avoid uneasy small talk. He was right, though – already the most minor of wounds were slowly disappearing, and the bad ones were closing.

I scooted forward and leaned in to wrap around him. Robert gratefully hugged me and ran a hand down my back with a gentle tenderness that hurt my heart.

“All this cum and your big dick in me feels great right now,” Robert whispered in my ear.

I laughed and cradled him in my arms as he smiled against my shoulder. “I know what you’re doing, you little shit.”

We both moved to kiss each other, and my lips locked with his in a sweet smooch. He kept it tender while I bred him, and I stopped feeling quite so guilty.

Robert interrupted the moment soon after when he pulled away and cleared his throat. “Um… how are your… urges?”

I furrowed my brow while I took inventory: I still felt relatively normal, compared to them on full blast earlier. With Robert and I so intimately twined together, I wasn’t getting any at all. “I’m fine… why do you ask?”

He gripped my back more intently and I noticed his muscles bulging from tension. Sweat still beaded on his forehead. “Oh, you know… I’m just feeling a _mighty need_ right now,” he said, ending with a groan.

His cock was ramrod straight against my belly. I curled my fingers around him and gave a stroke, easily wringing out a huge bead of precum.

“How do you want me?” I asked with a sultry smile.

Robert’s eyes darted between my face and my body, like he couldn’t decide. “I – I wanna fuck you. _Wait,”_ he exclaimed louder than justified. “I wanna watch you catch my load in your mouth.”

“That sounds messy – I love it.”

I cupped his ass cheeks in my hands – mindful of my claws – and lifted him up while I slid out of him. Some of my load came with my hard shaft, but I didn’t care. The only thing concerning me was Robert’s handsome cock and big balls in plain view.

“Holy shit… I really filled you up good,” I murmured. A hot blush made my cheeks burn. With Robert laid out beautifully underneath me, his tummy rising with his eager breath and every sweaty inch of him bared for me, it was impossible to resist reaching in and cupping his nuts to roll them between my fingers. I had a bit of fun waving his dick around and getting precum all over him.

“I won’t last long,” he warned. “It’s—” He let out a – probably unintentionally – seductive growl. “I’m just really turned on.”

I knelt on the floor – my knee didn’t hurt. Not one twinge anywhere in it, not after the white-hot sear I’d felt while turning. My eyes drew down to look for no reason. It was odd seeing thick hair everywhere now, all over my thigh.

Robert shuffled on the bed and laid a hand on my head. “Something wrong?”

“More like something that hasn’t been right for years.” No matter how I flexed my leg or pressed my weight, my knee didn’t twinge in the regrettably familiar ways it did mere hours ago. “It’s… different.”

He nodded, though he looked flustered. “Tell me about it.”

I reached for his cock and gave a few strokes, staring at how pretty a mushroom head he had, then leaned in to generously lick around the slit with much of my tongue.

“Ooh,” Robert said with a twitch. “I’m so close, just suck me for a bit?”

I gave pause when I thought of my fangs—

“Don’t care about your teeth,” he added as an afterthought.

I opened wide and took his manhood between my lips – careful of the teeth anyway – and languidly sucked his precum-coated dick, licking everywhere to swallow it down. In mere moments of kissing his shaft, he throbbed hard and heaved out a breath.

I pulled off and stretched out my tongue, holding it against the hot underside of his cock as I looked in his eyes and stroked with my fingers in a ring. Robert’s mouth dropped open and he huffed as a thick rope of cum shot to the back of my throat. His cock pulsed on my tongue as I wrung him dry, jizz shooting in my mouth and on my lips. Some splattered on my face and I slammed my eyes shut. He filled my mouth and I gulped down his cum as I dove in to suck his thick shaft through the second half of his orgasm.

“Oh god,” he murmured while I swallowed more of his load and cupped his ballsack. I rubbed them through the last few pumps and let off the tip with a kiss. “Fuckin’ hell…”

“Hoo… is being a werewolf worth it just for the cumshots?” I said with a laugh.

“It sure helps with the existential crisis. I’m gonna wipe your face, hold on.”

Robert’s fingers startled me when they met my cheek. He thumbed his cum off me and pushed his fingers in my mouth to suck clean, the claws a weird sensation on my tongue. When I cracked my eyes open, he had a huge, warm grin.

I smiled back and tried to ignore the steadily growing urges making an unwanted return. “I’ll never get sick of eating loads that big.”

“I wanted to eat your first cumshot as a werewolf, but I guess the wolf had other plans.” Robert rubbed my shoulder and I trailed my hands through his leg fur.

“You’re really not going down,” I said in wonderment when I noticed he was still hard. With a shy smile, I leaned in and sucked the head for a second.

Robert’s palms smoothed down my back. It soothed the beast within a bit, but it – and I – wanted more. I couldn’t help staring at his cock, at his big nuts, at his stunning body. How many times could he cum for me tonight?

“What’s our record again?” I asked, gazing up at him as I trailed a hand closer to his dick.

“Three in one session. Four in one day.” He quirked an eyebrow. “Why?”

“I wanna beat that record. Think you can cum again already?”

Robert’s lips curled in a sly smile. “I’m willing to find out.”

I made a fist around his dick and stroked him lightly. “Good, I want you in me.”

“Oh, fuck yes!”

I got up to lie on the bed while he got the lube, but I felt restless and couldn’t decide how I wanted it. On my back? My side? Bent over? I didn’t believe in just laying there like a limp noodle. The only respectable way to take a cock was to fully participate in the experience.

The click of the tube cap marked the coming sexual ecstasy, and I finally knelt with my legs spread wide under me, and my weight braced on my forearms.

“God, that’s a fuckin’ hot sight,” Robert said from behind me, then the mattress shifted from his weight. He trailed a hand on my right butt cheek and playfully slapped it. “A big, beefy werewolf, bent over to show me his perfect asshole.”

I blushed furiously and ducked my head to hide it. The fur on my arms against my face felt so unfamiliar, as did how they felt… bigger. “Am I really beefy now?”

I heard lube being squirted onto Robert’s fingers, and even smelled it a bit. He rubbed my butt again and grabbed the most muscular part to squeeze. “Honey, it’s _astounding.”_

“What does that mean?” I asked, not even jumping as Robert pushed his wet fingers inside me.

“It means that – it means…” Robert stopped talking when he started rubbing my G spot, my cock throbbing from the pleasure that made my eyes flutter. “I can’t think right now, I just… gotta make love to you,” he breathed out, almost reverently. “I gotta take you deep and…”

“Fuck me full of cum, Rob,” I begged.

Robert let out a strangled whine. “Jesus, that’s hot.” He spent a few more moments fingering me, then pulled out. I heard him stroking his shaft with a wet hand, then the bed dipped as he lined himself up.

I threw a glance back at him when he didn’t push in right away, and saw him staring at me in wonder, hovering a hand over my back. Rather than break his reverie, or stupor, or… whatever it was, I waited patiently for a few moments.

Finally, he curled a hand around my hip and slowly thrust into me, his cock gradually stretching me open until he buried himself.

Robert didn’t waste any time before he started a moderato pace, his manhood sliding in me as he fucked me hard enough to make my ass slap against his lap, though not enough to hurt. I grasped a pillow and hugged it tight; I might be in for a bit of a ride.

I shut my eyes and focused on the sound of his dick filling me, and on his breath coming quickly. He dug his fingers into my hips and claws poked a bit.

“Aim down a bit,” I huffed out.

Robert wordlessly complied, and his thrusts started hitting my G spot. My legs began feeling a bit wobbly, and every push inside me made my cock throb. I started a bit when Robert’s hand groped my arm. He just grunted as he thrust in me. I pulled my arm out from under me, and Robert grabbed my hand to lace our fingers together.

The constant pleasure built inside my ass and innervated through my cock and nut sack. Robert stopped, and I cracked my eyes open right as he picked me up and spun me onto my side.

“Whoa. Careful,” I chuckled.

I locked eyes with Robert, and I didn’t quite see him behind them. He looked a bit wild – maybe crazed – as he stared at me and slowly drove his cock in me.

“Fuck me deep,” I murmured, mainly to get a rise out of him.

My lover didn’t say anything, but he did paw at me, his hands grabbing everywhere until he settled on curling tight around me. I smelled his hair while he breathed in my neck and nibbled all over me while he thrust.

This felt way more like fucking an animal than our first time with him changed. Robert quietly growled as he thrust in me, his shaft sliding between my cheeks as much as it slid inside me. The buzz in my groin built up again as he thrust against my prostate and bit my neck. It should have hurt, but it just felt… warm. Not from a wound, but from the warmth that spread through me out from my chest and right to my very soul.

“God, fucking take me, Rob,” I said breathily. “Empty your fuckin’ balls deep in my ass.”

Robert released my shoulders and wrapped around me in an awkward hug to kiss me hard, panting as he hungrily licked in my mouth. I felt his cock throb, sandwiched in my ass cheeks, and I grabbed his head to take control of the heavy kiss right as the first jet of hot cum shot inside me.

Robert’s pace barely let up as he plunged his cock in me, grinding much deeper as he pumped me full. His claws dug into my back as he shuddered, his hairy back under my fingers hot and sweaty. He smelled indescribable, like pine trees, a vigorous workout, and jizz as he moaned and pawed at me to desperately tighten the hug.

My body felt fuller with every push into me, his massive load dripping down my ass. I felt like I would literally overflow with his cum if his orgasm stretched on any longer.

His pace and hasty breathing finally slowed as his cumshot tapered off, leaving him slowly thrusting to breed his lover, panting like a satisfied beast on top of me. I just hugged him as best I could, rubbing his back and gently kissing his face.

“Holy shit. Wow,” I said dumbly. “Wow. That was intense.”

Robert kept slowly pushing his dick inside me; otherwise he lay draped over me. My spine was starting to protest the twist in it.

I gently smacked his back to rouse him. “Are you okay?” I asked with a chuckle. “Kinda looked like I lost you for a bit.”

His heavy body made the weird position worse. He spent a few moments panting and pushing his load deeper in me before releasing me from his loose hug to let me straighten out my back.

“Hoo,” he started. “Phew. Whoa. It felt… _really_ fucking good to fill you.” He dazzled me with a big grin, then gathered me in his arms to kiss me fondly and stroke my hair with our eyes locked.

“I feel so full, jeez,” I said with a hot blush.

He slowly pulled out of me and let my legs down. The room felt hot and smelled intensely of sex, but I didn’t care. Robert lined up our dicks and lay on me to make out and rut against my crotch. The wolf in me seemed confused over whether it wanted to cuddle or cum again. Robert seemed content to curl around each other and suck each other’s tongues.

He let off with a wet, playful smack of lips and rubbed my dick with a hand. “You ready to shoot again?”

_“Fuck,_ yes.”

“I want you to coat me in jizz,” Robert said with a furious blush, though he didn’t sound bashful at all.

Without another word, Robert lay back on the bed. I grabbed the lube and sat on his lap, lightly stroking my cock while he grabbed the tube and spread some on his hand.

“You wanna paint me white, don’t you?” Robert asked as he slicked me up and spun his hand around my shaft. He thumbed the crown and locked eyes with me. “Want you to empty your big fuckin’ nuts all over my face.”

I busied my hands with carding my fingers through his belly hair, trailing them over his sides, and down his arms. His cock liked the attention – I felt him poking my taint.

Robert stared at my cock, licking his lips while he stroked me intently. He looked like a starving animal waiting as patiently as he could for his next meal. My balls resting in his belly fur was an intimate accent to the steadily rising pleasure in my dick as I glanced between his face and his fingers working my shaft.

“God, I wanna empty myself on you,” I murmured as I neared my second cumshot of the evening.

“I wanna feel you pump your load on my chest,” he said in a sultry croon. “You’re fucking gorgeous like this. Covered in manly fur, beefy as hell, big dick in my hand.”

I shuddered as his filthy mouth running pushed me careening over the edge and my cock pulsed in his hand. Robert watched as I shot another load in thick, white ropes all over him. My chest heaved through the bliss of it and I forced my eyes to focus on his beefy body being coated in two dozen jets of semen landing in his dense treasure trail, on his pecs, neck, and beard.

“Hoo boy,” Robert said with a big smile as he wrung the last of my load onto his hand and rubbed the head before bringing it in to lick himself clean. He was a mess of jizz, and he looked perfect.

I felt a bit unsteady from the rush of it all and braced my arms by gently holding his biceps. He looked so content thumbing cum off himself to eat, but he’d never get himself clean that way.

“You look disgusting,” I chuckled, and softly stroked the side of his head, lightly scratching him with my claws. Robert’s eyes fluttered closed and he let out a quiet sigh. “No, you don’t, you look beautiful.”

The stick of everything was beginning to feel… _uncomfortable._ Not only had I covered Robert, but we’d made his bedsheets a disaster.

Robert licked a rope of cum off his finger and let his arm fall to the bed with a thud. “I feel dirty,” he said. “I need a shower.”

“Yeah?”

“Come with me,” he whispered with a twinkle in his eye.

In the bathroom, Robert started the hot water, but he curled around me right after to messily kiss me. He stunk like a filthy animal, but every breath I took of him was heavenly because _I_ made him stink like a filthy animal.

Once in the shower, all I wanted to do was hold him as the water cascaded down us, slowly washing away the evidence of our sexual revelry. Robert caressed my back with a delicate, lulling touch, and I clung to his wet body in a daze. He soaped us up while I didn’t have the energy or focus to do so.

“I love you so very deeply,” I said, barely louder than the symphony of droplets striking tile.

Robert pulled back to look at me, the only source of light his eyes. The shower had made his striking brown hair slick, water streaming down him and dripping from the tip of his chin. He was so alluring, and yet the beast within felt less like a lusty demon and more like a content, if unfathomable lap dog.

“You know, in high school, I loved poetry,” I started. “I read tons of it and I wrote a lot… I didn’t keep it up, though. Maybe I should have.”

A beat of silence. “How come you stopped?”

“My father said I’d never be able to do anything with it, but…” I curled a bit more intently around my lover, hoping my touch could convey what my tongue could not. “I keep trying to think of the words to tell you how much you mean to me. Maybe if I were a poet, I could come close.”

Robert brought our foreheads together and swayed back and forth under the water. “You make me feel like I’m the star of an old romance film,” he started, and I withheld a gasp. “I never thought I’d feel something as profound as the…” He shook his head and bit his lip. “Unfettered, fervent, _desperate_ adoration that I feel for you every day of my life. I don’t understand how anyone can feel anything so fierce and… soft, all at once.”

“Those are some fantastic words to describe it,” I laughed. Our eyes lit the shower a bit more as we both smiled. “I don’t understand it either.” It was as if it only really hit me after he turned.

“I think I’m okay with not understanding it.”

I ducked to peck his lips and pulled him the tiniest bit closer. “Me too.”

For the moment, I felt sated – both emotionally and sensually. I’d claimed to want to break our record, but now I wanted to cuddle.

Robert finished washing us and shut off the water with a creak of the faucet. The towel he used to dry us off felt a bit rough – I couldn’t tell if it was from enhanced senses or crummy laundry detergent. Touch didn’t seem to be affected, so maybe the latter.

He led me by the hand into the bedroom and stopped suddenly near the bed. “Need clean sheets…”

I looked past him and burst into laughter at the sight of dark imprints where we’d soaked the sheets from sweating. “God, that’s so gross.”

“Alright… let’s get this over with.” Robert stripped the sheets off and balled them up, then got fresh ones and put them on, all the while leading me around with our hands linked like he was afraid ever letting go would cause me to vanish into the night.

We curled up under the covers and I lay my head on Robert’s chest. Though the lights were off, and the curtains drawn, I could still see in grays anywhere I looked. I guess I have night vision of sorts now.

Robert petted my back and spoke, the murmurs reverberating louder than I was used to. “How’s the urges?”

“I can ignore them. I’m ready to sleep.” I yawned, as if on cue.

“You’re gonna be okay,” he said.

I listened to Robert’s breathing slow until I was sure he was asleep, but even though I wasn’t restless, I didn’t drift off into slumber just yet.

With nothing to distract me, I began noticing… noises. Cars outside that I couldn’t hear before. The creak of Robert’s furnace, apparently near the back of the house. An electric buzz from something in the room – maybe the lamps, I couldn’t tell. All of it kept me awake, though Robert’s firm chest did a great job of grounding me.

To add to my woes, my sense of smell was superb, now. Robert smelled wonderful, and our mind-blowing fuck session lingered, but so did fabric softener and pungent mouthwash.

It was another thing to get used to. That and clenching my fist made claws stab my palm. In due time, I supposed.

My thoughts became nonsensical as I drifted off, until fragments of dreams subsumed my waking moments.

 

* * *

 

Claws lightly trailing down my back roused me from sleep. I took a deep breath and cracked my eyes open. The curtains barely held back the light of dawn, which seeped around them and colored the walls.

Robert, still under me, hummed quietly as he scratched my back. I burrowed my face into his furry pecs and took a deep sniff of him, a lovely affection warming my heart as I did.

“G’morning, sleepyhead,” he said with a smile, as he scratched behind my left ear.

“Mmm, what time is it?” I asked. I started stretching, groaning as I did.

“Eleven thirty.”

I bolted to my hands and knees in shock to stare at him. _“What?”_

“What?” He shrugged. “Turning takes a lot out of you.”

He was still transformed, but I clearly wasn’t. Claws I had twelve hours ago were absent, the only evidence my fingernails looking impeccably trimmed rather than chewed to the nail beds from anxiety. My arms looked more toned, but no hairier than I remember. I sat on my haunches and looked all over myself out of curiosity.

Robert braced himself on an elbow and laid a hand on my shoulder. “There’s no need to panic,” he said.

“I’m not panicking,” I grunted as I tried helplessly to get a look at my back. My love handles were gone, my thighs were firm, my once soft tummy felt hard when I tapped on it with a fist. Overall, I felt much less… chunky, but I also felt awkwardly bigger. I was in a new body that would remain unwieldy for a while.

“You’re doing something, that’s for sure.”

I plopped myself on Robert’s legs, straddling his shins, and he sat up straight. Everything felt different. I looked down at my arms and flexed – my biceps bulged in a way they hadn’t, even since college.

My boyfriend giggled and pushed my arm down. “You’re gonna give me a raging stiffy if you keep showing off like that,” he said.

“But…”

“Don’t make me suck your dick. I’ll do it,” he warned, a thick eyebrow quirked and his lips in a cocky smile.

“I’m just a little disoriented, that’s all.” I locked eyes with him for a moment before looking at his pointy ears and soft beard. “A little surprised, maybe.”

“Don’t be alarmed or anything like that,” Robert said in a gentle, comforting tone that instantly put me at ease. He moved his hand to my back, and I indulged the craving to lean in and nuzzle his face with mine. _That_ was a bit new. “I’m _starving,_ I’m gonna go make breakfast, is that okay?”

I reared back to let him climb out of bed. “How come you didn’t say anything?”

Robert donned some pajama pants and turned back toward me as he shifted back to looking human. When his fangs disappeared and his claws finished retracting, he spoke again. “You looked so peaceful… I just wanted you to rest after turning. It took the piss out of me when I was bitten.”

I sat in silence, stunned from such altruistic thoughtfulness.

“Come down in a few minutes, I’ll whip up something quick.”

Now that I was alone, I wasn’t sure what to do. I rummaged in Robert’s dresser for some underwear and pulled on some navy-blue boxer briefs. Then, the questions filled my mind.

If Robert enjoyed an aggressive immune system and increased strength and stamina, what could _I_ do? My orthopedic appointments could be cancelled; pain seemed like a thing of the past. Purely on impulse I reached for Robert’s bed and curled my hands under it…

I lifted it a few inches off the ground without any trouble at all. My back didn’t ache, I didn’t feel winded, my thighs didn’t burn, and my biceps looked enormous.

“Holy shit.”

I set it back down in the indents it left in the carpet from years of compression and looked around for other things to heave around. I tried the dresser – lifting it was a cinch, though I heard drawer contents shift as I did. The chair was easy. I didn’t break a sweat. Beyond that, nothing in the house would likely be heavier than the bed, save maybe the laundry or kit hen appliances.

I stared dumbfounded and lifted the bed the long way again – nope, I didn’t imagine it.

The smell of eggs and ham being fried, and freshly peeled apples and bananas hit me – maybe I was just distracted. It was too strong to be reaching me only now. Then I heard the blender and cringed as I felt the need to cover my ears.

“What the hell…”

The hallway and staircase going to the ground floor should have seemed dark, but as I plodded along without making a sound on the carpet – I felt a need to avoid drawing attention – it was perfectly navigable.

“Rob?” I called out when I reached the landing, even though I could hear him working in the kitchen. I saw Betsy playing with a chew toy at the bottom of the stairs.

“I made breakfast smoothies to start,” he answered. I smelled strawberries, too. Betsy barely paid me any mind as I walked past her? And when I stepped into the kitchen, Robert glanced at me and let out a wolf whistle. “Wearing my boxers? That’s hot.”

“What are you on about?” I chuckled. “I’ve done it before.”

Robert handed me a big glass of bright orange smoothie. “Not after turning. You look smokin’ in those.”

My belly did look a lot slimmer, I guess. And my thighs kind of stretched the elastic more than I recall. My knee still didn’t hurt, which was a bit disorienting. I’d have to get used to walking normally again instead of moving with the intent of preventing the grind I’d lived with for so long.

Robert turned back to the stovetop and sprinkled cheddar and seared ham chunks on two omelettes in progress. “These’ll be done soon enough.”

The strawberry banana smoothie went down easily, but my stomach growled angrily now that I wasn’t ignoring my hunger.

“Soon,” Robert chuckled.

I finished the smoothie and crept up behind him, hooking my chin over his shoulder and curling my arms around him. Rubbing Robert’s belly fur was entertainment enough while I waited for breakfast. I hummed something tuneless while he folded the omelettes and garnished them with more cheese.

“Stop,” I warned playfully when Robert rubbed my lap with his butt. I felt more than heard him laugh.

At last he plated the fluffy yellow omelettes and handed one to me. I barely waited seconds to pick it up with a bare hand and tore into it almost ravenously.

“Mmmm,” I moaned loudly as I consumed my meal without decorum or grace. Half of it was already gone before I noticed Robert gaping at me with mild horror.

“Are you… okay?” he asked with an eyebrow peaked.

“Uh…” I paused to swallow and stared back. “I don’t know. I couldn’t control myself.”

Robert shook his head with a smile. “Let’s go _sit down_ before you eat any more. I haven’t even taken a bite.”

The fork felt cumbersome now, but I ate with it nonetheless. I felt Robert’s eyes on me the entire time I ate, though.

“Hon,” I started. “This whole werewolf thing has been a wild ride so far.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m feeling kind of…” I looked down at my fingers splayed out on the table while I thought. _There should be claws there._ “Did you feel kind of… _wrong_ unless you were turned, at first?”

Robert finished off his smoothie and set down the glass, looking in my eyes with a pensive gaze lost in thought. “Maybe not unless I turned, more like I _always_ felt wrong. Like I’d been ripped apart and put back together – better than before but still. Something felt off.”

“Oh.”

“Not the answer you wanted?” he asked. He grimaced and stayed silent for a moment. “Well… the others said everyone feels different when they change. Jackson tried to stay turned all the time and Tohru did everything he could to deny it.”

I idly drummed my fingers on the table, the sound so much louder than I expected.

“Lawrence wouldn’t say how he felt after he was bitten, but I get the impression he reveled in the newfound power a bit. He _was_ in a war, at the time. That had to have been useful.”

“I kinda feel like I should be turned all the time…”

Robert shrugged with a devious smile. “I wouldn’t mind… it’s just, if Ellen knew, she’d lecture you on clinging to your humanity.”

“Do you still feel that way? Like something’s off?”

“It took some time to adjust, but I feel good these days. Got a good relationship with existence, now.”

The sun wasn’t throwing shadows through the east window; how much of the day had I missed? I tried to scrape at an itch on my back. My arm was more flexible, but I should have claws… “I feel so weird. What time is it?”

Robert glanced at his phone and tapped it. “A little after twelve thirty.”

“Jeez… half the day is gone already.”

“Oho, no it’s not.” I wasn’t sure if I liked his sly grin. “We turn again tonight. We’re having a movie marathon until you pass out.”

“What do we do until then?” We couldn’t just have sex all day. I’d never forget that first incredible orgasm deep inside him, but I’d like to do something else, too.

Robert leaned his weight on an elbow and scratched his beard in thought. “I dunno…”

I tilted my head toward the hallway when I realized I could hear the analog clock in the kitchen ticking if I really focused. Betsy’s chew toy was audible even though it wasn’t squeaky.

“What is it, Lassie?”

I shot a glare at Robert and his cheeks puffed up as he held back a guffaw. “Shut up. I noticed that I can hear the kitchen clock from here.”

Robert furrowed his brow and turned his head to listen. “I’ll be damned, I can too.”

“Am I gonna have to sleep with ear plugs in now?” Maybe I should buy a nice pair of ear defenders.

“Hmm,” Robert started, stroking his beard again like a plotting villain in a movie. “I know what we’re doing today.”

“What’s that?”

“Go home and dress warm.”

 

* * *

 

I’d not gotten a chance to ride in Robert’s new truck before now. The fancy molded interior looked impeccable, and the leather seats were almost _too_ comfortable. The new car smell and leather overpowered my nose, though, and I had to roll the window down just to get some relief.

Tom Waits kept us company while Robert drove us somewhere downtown. He’d opted for the familiarity of his leather jacket and cozy red sweater.

Meanwhile, I had to wear my yoga shirt under my winter jacket, and the biggest pair of jeans I had. I knew the change might obsolete most of my wardrobe, but I wasn’t prepared for half of my shirts and most of my pants to become too small overnight. Still, better than none of my clothes fitting, like what happened to Robert.

“Almost there,” he said over Tom’s throaty lyrics.

All I could tell was we were somewhere in the center of town, near the popular shopping districts and—oh, the park.

Robert pulled into the parking lot for the big park we’d visited weeks ago. He hopped out and slammed the heavy truck door behind him, and I followed suit.

Winter was here, though not quite in full force. The frigid air stung every time I breathed through my mouth. The trees were barren – for the most part, save for few evergreens that dotted the landscape. The scent of pine needles hung in the air, as did something I didn’t recognize. It smelled… wet? It was coming from the center of the park.

“What’ve you got planned?” I asked when I caught up to Robert where he was waiting on the pathway, hands in his pockets.

He shrugged and his lips curled up. “Nothing specific, really.”

“So, you _do_ have something planned and you aren’t gonna tell me. Got it.”

I followed at Robert’s side and lazily strolled along the concrete path. That wet smell was driving me crazy from wondering what it could be. Maybe a polluted puddle, or the public bathrooms. Maybe just the pond.

The quiet that fell between us as I followed him wasn’t any different than usual, though my curiosity still had me wondering what he was scheming.

A bit irritatingly, my improved hearing made enjoying the quiet more difficult. Eavesdropping was nearby unavoidable. A man and woman in matching brown sweaters walked past us and though they spoke in hush tones, every word was perfectly clear.

“There’s a jazz festival at the theatre near mom’s apartment next week. Ask her to go with you,” the man said.

“What if she doesn’t like jazz?” the woman asked.

“C’mon,” the man replied. “Who doesn’t like jazz? It’s foolproof. Besides, you’ll never find out if you don’t ask her.”

Maybe they were talking about her asking a lady on a date, or maybe it was just a quarrel she wanted to resolve, and a concert was a decent bonding venue. Either way, their conversation melted back into the din as they widened the gap between us. Now I’d never get an answer to my unspoken question.

Robert led me to a picnic table next to the pond, and the source of the damp odor became apparent.

“Oh, it’s the pond that smelled so funky,” I said, staring at the surface of the water. I saw the fin of a fish disturb the surface, sending tiny waves outward. I turned to look at Robert and noticed him inspecting the nearby trees and bushes. “What’s up?”

“Shh,” he said, holding up a hand. His eyes scanned something above and behind me, and he lowered his hand again. “Listen. Can you hear it?”

“Uh…” I tried to pick out what he meant, but I only heard the drone of traffic and crunch of dried grass under boots. In the playground on the other side of the park, children laughed, and swing sets squeaked. “The… wind…?”

“No, try to pick out an animal.”

I mentally sifted through the various sounds I was hearing—oh! I heard scratching – on tree bark, perhaps – from somewhere nearby. Somewhere behind me. The source wasn’t immediately apparent when I spun around in my seat to look for it among the ground cover or leafy bushes. I peered into the branches of the evergreen and discerned a chattering sound among the white noise.

“Is that… a squirrel?” I said, with a bit of hesitation.

“Bingo,” Robert said. “It’s pretty quiet, even with better hearing, right?”

The top of the pine tree still looked crisply detailed. “Did your vision feel sharper?” I asked.

“Yeah. I’ve always had good eyes, but the… acuity is much better. Couldn’t remember the word.”

“Wow…” I turned back to him and stared in wonderment. “So, I really can smell better, hear better, and see better?”

He slowly nodded and beamed at me. “Pretty damn nifty, isn’t it?”

“How come you took me here to show me that? Not that I regret coming or anything.”

Robert gestured around us with an arm in a sweeping arc. “We can’t get this much noise in our quiet suburb, can we? How would I demonstrate how to pick out specific sounds at home?”

If I concentrated, I could almost make out what people in the playground were saying. A pair of women – maybe parents – loudly conversed about a book they were reading together. Children occasionally shrieked, which drowned out pieces of their conversation, fragmenting it beyond intelligibility.

“I see your point. Can you hear those women talking about a book?” I pointed in their direction, and Robert nodded.

“They’re talking about _The Girl on the Train_. Earlier they were talking about _Rogue Lawyer_ – the premise of which sounds ridiculous, by the way. I looked it up while you were looking at the squirrel.”

My jaw dropped and Robert raised a thick eyebrow. “How did you pick all of that up?”

“Simple: I’ve had a few months to get used to this. And they might have said the names of the books,” he said, ending with a shrug.

“So, this is what it’s been like for you…” My attention wandered through all the things I wasn’t used to experiencing. “This is my life now, huh?” I asked absently.

“This is our life now,” Robert murmured. Simultaneously, we reached for each other’s hands on the table and clasped them together. His hands and eyes were both so warm it was easy to melt under his gaze. I felt his promise ring under my fingers and realized it would be a wedding band some day soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some content in this chapter can be interpreted as dubious consent. While the author considers it closer to the Alien Sex Pollen trope common in e.g. Star Trek erotic fiction, it is nonetheless important to point out. Please exercise discretion when reading.
> 
> While I don't personally know if Blood/Injection/Injury phobias can be triggered from reading, Robert does of course bite Matt and pierce skin.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please see end of chapter notes for a notice of potentially triggering content and an archive warning. Do be advised this notice is a spoiler.

_Amanda had a big grin plastered on her tired face as she bounced Jason and Kate on her hips. Amanda’s handsome husband, Nathan, stood left of and slightly behind her, a bag full of food for the picnic and things for the babies. It was still hard to believe my little girl had kids, now, much less twins._

_“Dad, you look like you have your head in the clouds,” she said._

_“Oh, just thinking,” I said._

_Amanda set Jason and Kate down on the grass and watched them toddle off to play a few meters away from us._

_“How old are they now?”_

_“A year and two months,” she said. “Is barbecued pork okay?” she asked as she handed me a plastic food box with a sandwich inside._

_“Barbecued pork is_ always _okay.”_

_I sat down cross-legged on the picnic blanket and watched Amanda and Nathan pull boxes of food out of the pack. The sun shone bright and Amanda smiled at me again._

_“Dad, do you—”_

I started awake at the sound of a jet engine roaring past the windows, my heart racing in my chest. I looked left to see the tail end of a police cruiser as it flew by. Outside, a few high-rise cleaning drones were making the rounds, and a colorful augmented reality advertisement for a network service provider lazily swept by.

“Stop polarizing the windows,” I said, and I watched the tinting lessen until they let in the evening sun. It gave me a sweeping view of the ocean reflecting the sunset – and California’s spaceport, as busy as it ever was with ships bound for various places. Streamlined commercial spacecraft frequently docked, but aside that, today I could see some shuttles clearly emblazoned with the blue and black logo for the Pacific Coast Alliance Space Agency, probably bound for a Mars colony. A bronze-colored, spherical Jupiter harvester was at the far end of the docks, and a tarnished, blocky mining barge was having new lasers and drones installed by robotic claw machines.

I sat back on the couch and rubbed sleep out of my eyes; it was around sixteen hundred that I began work, and… now the nineteen-hundred-hour news was on the holo-screen. The news anchor and his holographic assistant spoke animatedly in Californian about the upcoming low gravity rugby game.

Nobody spoke English anymore, not the way it used to be; Robert and I barely did ourselves. It was too easy to get swept away by linguistic drifting like actual driftwood in the ocean. Too hard to blend in when you held stubbornly onto a forgotten language.

Amanda… I dreamt about Amanda. I waved a hand in front of my eyes, and an augmented reality keyboard appeared, an illusion created by my contact lenses. While I navigated menus and data stores with taps on a keyboard that didn’t exist in the material, I absently listened to the news as they switched to talking about what the weather drones would do tomorrow. There was a scheduled heavy rain around sixteen hundred hours before shutting down the storm in the late evening after the forests were sufficiently protected from fires.

When I found what I wanted, I replaced the hologram of my work over the black table with a photo of Amanda and her husband, Nathan, with their twins Jason and Kate. They looked so happy, and… young. My heart ached with longing; she passed away in 2149. Nothing can ever prepare you for your child’s death, but at least she lived a long and happy life, to the ripe old age of one hundred and thirty-two.

Meanwhile, I’d barely aged at all. Neither of us had.

“Robert is on his way home,” said a floating disc-shaped drone to my right in a smooth, synthesized male voice. I turned to look at it, then past it into the bar kitchen, where the food synthesizer remained broken and consequently, my stomach remained empty. “Estimated time of arrival: twelve minutes and thirty-two seconds.”

“Thank you,” I said.

“Sir, the bulk stores for the matter synthesizers are low,” he – _it_ said. “Given the mean quality of the last three purchases of recycled materials, I have taken the liberty to research alternatives and—”

“It’s fine, Dexter, you can order the most efficient one,” I said, before it could present any math. The less I had to deal with the smelly bulk matter for the synthesizers, the better.

“Right away, sir.”

The drone sped off toward the maintenance closet while another disc-shaped drone came out to start silently pulling debris off the carpet with blue light, and I rubbed my eyes in exhaustion.

I listened to the news for a few more minutes, as they reported on Pacific Coast Alliance politics until the front door beeped and slid open.

“Honey,” Robert called out. “I’m back!”

I stood, my back cracking a bit, and walked over to the foyer to see what Robert spent the afternoon doing. Behind him hovered a dolly with several crates carefully stacked on it. One was adorned with the _Cyber Solutions_ logo, and doubtlessly contained the new food synthesizer.

“You were gone quite a while,” I said. “Was _Cyber Solutions_ busy or something?”

Robert pulled the dolly past me and into the kitchen. “Dexter,” Robert began. “Can you replace the food synthesizer?”

“Right away, sir,” said the home computer.

“Thanks.” Robert finally turned to look at me – he looked so handsome with coiffed hair and the broad-shouldered black casual coat he had on – but he gave one look at me and frowned. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He crowded into my space and laid his hands on my sides.

I pulled him closer with a hug and pressed my face against his soft, neatly trimmed beard. “Oh, you know… thinking about the past.”

“Pft, what part of it? There’s so much.”

I let out a slow, pained sigh as my heart sunk. “Amanda.”

Robert drew away enough to look me in the eyes. It still struck me to this day how beautiful his brown and amber eyes were, even though right now they were full of pained empathy. “You know she died happy, right?”

“Yeah, it’s just…”

“She said no,” Robert murmured. “You respected her wishes.” He gently rubbed my back as he let his words sink in. “That’s the best you could have done.”

“Outliving your kid kind of sucks,” I said. “Didn’t expect to live _this_ long. I’ll be two hundred and ninety-six this coming November.”

“Oh, come on,” Robert muttered. “I’ll be three hundred in a few months.”

I stroked the back of his head and drew my hand along his neck to cup his jaw. “You don’t look a day over forty-five.”

“You don’t either,” he said with a sad smile.

Robert held me close and I burrowed into him, content in the moment of intimate silence – other than the occasional clunk or whirring noise as drones removed the old food synthesizer. Or the holo-screen still broadcasting news.

“Never got to know our grandchildren. Never got to even meet Val’s children, our great-grandchildren, or great-great-grandchildren…”

“I know what might cheer you up,” he started.

“Yeah?”

“Let me treat you to dinner.”

“Rob,” I said in a teasing, playful tone. “How can you ‘treat me’ to dinner?”

Robert narrowed his gaze, one eyebrow higher than the other in a cute, lopsided glare. “Let me drive you there, at least.”

“We haven’t had a car—”

“—A car with manual piloting for even longer, _I know,_ just…” He held out his hands as if to dramatically silence me. “Let me at least pretend I’m doing something special for you out of love.”

A smile broke through, and Robert’s eyes lit up. I combed my fingers through his soft hair that had stayed dark brown since the day he turned, and he cupped my cheeks and smoothed a thumb over one of my eyebrows.

“Come on. Let’s go out,” he said quietly.

“Okay, that does sound nice.”

“You should bring your coat, it’s a bit chilly.”

I walked over to the coat manager by the front door, where a screen displayed that it was almost seventy-five degrees outside in the strange temperature gauge that replaced Fahrenheit and even Celsius for casual use decades ago. The coat manager slid open and presented me with a few options appropriate to the weather, and I picked out a long sleeved, dark blue coat with a fractal pattern on it that was all the rage this season. I still thought it was ugly, but in the space age, trying not to stand out had the opposite effect.

“I’m ready if you are.”

With a hand on my back, Robert guided me out the door and into the clean hallway. The holo-screen opposite the elevator reported that the community housing meeting was being postponed so the board could finalize the choices for what color the walls and carpet of the building should be.

Once in an elevator, Robert held me a bit closer again, one hand on my side, the other gently laid on my abs. The elevator rapidly descended to the parking garage, where the wide metal doors opened to ‘dispense’ one of our sleek cars on a complex servo platform from underground.

To this day, it remained surreal how far technology had progressed. The sort of things we lived with every day were barely the stuff of imagination when I was growing up. Even getting in the car and watching Robert type in our destination still made me feel like I was out of place. It was hard not to; when people joked about being born in the wrong time, I always mentally responded that Robert and I _were_ born in a different time.

“Where are we going?” I asked as the engines powered up and the car lifted off the ground to glide through the transparent security wall.

“Would it sound lame if I said I wanted it to be a surprise, since it’s right there on the screen?”

I kept my eyes off the center console. “No, of course not.”

Robert kept the entertainment system off. I appreciated the silence, and the opportunity to just think about nothing. I watched the other cars float side by side above the streets, holograms adjusting the lanes based on traffic – more for pedestrians, since computers controlled all traffic.

Some of the cars were a bit blocky, others angular. Still others somehow looked like they were made of a single piece of metal sculpted down into the vague shape of a vehicle.

“I was thinking of getting Ellen one of those solid holographic dogs for her birthday,” Robert said.

“I never trusted those,” I muttered. An advertisement for one floated by, by chance. “A dog made of light and force fields always struck me as fishy.”

“Well, what would you suggest? The party is this Sunday and I don’t want to show up empty handed.”

“Who all is going?” I asked as I drew a gesture in the air with a hand. My message inbox appeared in my contacts as a light blue grid, though as I scrolled down, I quickly realized there were too many texts to sort through. “I haven’t been keeping up the last few weeks.”

When Robert didn’t say anything, I glanced at him; he was staring with a concerned downturn of his lips

“What?”

“Just… you’ve seemed out of it lately. Uh…” He began typing on his virtual keyboard. “Tohru will be there of course. Bridget and Davison, too.” He kept gesturing through what was probably his inbox. “Anthony said he’d make it.”

“What about Alejandra and Zain?”

“Alejandra’s stuck in the Eurasian Emirates on business. Zain is in Dubai.”

“Aw, damn,” I murmured. “We haven’t seen them in a while. Well, six guests makes for a nice, quiet birthday party.”

“Yeah, it should be nice,” Robert said.

“I can’t believe she’s gonna be four hundred and fifty…”

The bright lights and advertisements passing by bled into a dizzying rainbow blur as the car silently hovered up into high velocity airspace.

“Amanda would have loved to live in this kind of world,” I absently said. After college, she embraced the rapidly changing world, whereas I would have been left behind in the dust had I not buckled down and started studying how technology was changing.

“She _did_ love living in this kind of world,” Robert replied.

A yellow alert in the corner of my eye reminded me to hire a hacker to spoof our medical data. Robert and I used fake age reduction therapy records to make our age a bit more believable. I hated having to employ hackers – especially because they wanted more and more credits every decade that passed – but it was still a fraction of the cost of real age reduction therapy.

“Hey,” Robert said, tearing me away from my thoughts.

I looked him in the eyes, and he reached across the center console to take my hand.

“You still look forlorn.”

“Sorry, I’m just thinking.”

Robert typed on the console, and it withdrew to give us space as all four seats turned to face each other in a ‘social’ configuration. He took my hands between his and gently stroked them as the world flitting by turned his eyes into dazzling multicolor strobe lights. We’d replaced our wedding rings twenty or so times over, but they were otherwise a permanent fixture, and he played with mine with a thumb.

“I know how you feel,” he said quietly. “I’ve been thinking of Val lately. It won’t ever not hurt, but…”

“I think I’d rather it hurt once in a while than not care at all.”

Robert nodded sagely. “Pain can be good, sometimes. Is this what’s been bothering you lately?”

“Well… yes and no?” I said with a shrug. “I don’t want to get into it right now. Is that okay?”

“Of course.” Robert said lowly. He softly kissed the back of both my hands in turn.

The trip count on the console showed that we were almost a hundred and fifty kilometers from home by now. We’ve been on day trips to further away places, but the curiosity was eating away at me.

“How much further?” I asked.

“‘Are we there yet?’” Robert asked in a mock child’s voice, a smile splitting his face.

“Ha ha, very funny. I’m just hungry.” The food synthesizer broke while it was making breakfast, so instead of steak and eggs, we got inedible blue slop.

“Just a few more kilometers. And if it makes you feel better, I skipped lunch out of solidarity.”

I shrugged and diverted my gaze. “Maybe a little bit.”

The car descended and decelerated, other vehicles adjusting their flight pattern to make room until we transitioned out of HV airspace and into ground mode again.

I hadn’t been to this part of the metroplex in so long that I didn’t recognize it at all as the car drove through intersections of high-density commercial district.

The car selected an old fashioned multi floor garage that looked like it was from the 2050’s, and when I stepped out into the chilly air, the heating in my clothes turned on.

Robert stood by my side again and ushered me toward an elevator. We only had to walk for a few minutes through crowds of people, all trying to stand out in their own way. Some had bright dyed hair, others had cosmetic augmentations or unusual clothes. I just wanted to blend in and be unnoticed.

Robert stopped us in front of a building that smelled distinctly of pizza. The sign above the restaurant was in Californian so loopy that I couldn’t read it. When I stepped inside, it was like I’d stepped into the past.

“A pizza parlor?” I asked.

Tens of dark wood sitting booths and tables were occupied by chatty patrons, most of them with enormous pizzas on their tables. The cacophony was worsened by the noisy kitchen, visible through a long, metal countertop with piping hot pizzas waiting to be taken to their table. It smelled so intensely of tomato sauce and a mix of pizza toppings it was almost overwhelming.

Adding to the feeling of being taken into the past was the total lack of modern conveniences. There wasn’t a single digital screen anywhere, no holograms, no augmented reality objects… nothing. There were cork boards around the restaurant with printed paper advertisements for something. I approached one near the entryway and noticed they were for events happening in the early 2000’s, though they were still written in Californian. The slang was all wrong, too.

A waiter wearing a black apron and holding an honest to god pad of paper approached us “Welcome to Snazzy’s Retro Pizza, it’ll be a few minutes before I can seat you, is that okay?”

“Certainly, thank you,” Robert said.

The food smelled wonderful, though the juxtaposition of ancient decor and modern Californian everywhere felt surreal. Other than Robert, there wasn’t a single person here who knew how wrong everything was.

Robert sidled up to me and leaned into my ear. “You look troubled,” he whispered.

“It’s just… weird, seeing all this again. They got so much right, and yet…”

“Hey, right this way,” said the same waiter from before. I noticed before he turned that his eyes were cybernetic, the solid white backing in the cheaper models hard to miss.

He sat us in a corner booth, which I appreciated, and laid some menus down for us. “Can I get you started with any drinks?”

“Water is fine,” I said.

“Do you have any wines?” Robert asked.

The waiter – Te, his plastic name tag said – grimaced. “No, sorry, we don’t have any alcohol.”

“Synthehol?” I asked.

“No.”

“That’s okay,” Robert said. “I can’t stand most synthehols.”

“I’ll be back shortly after you look over the menus a bit.”

The menu was e-paper, of course – another thing out of place. The discord of customers everywhere was oppressive to the point that I had to take out my earbuds.

“How’s the deep-dish Hawaiian sound?” Robert asked.

I stuck the chrome earbuds in, and they unfolded to gently anchor to the edges of my ears. “What’s in it?” The interface for the earbuds showed up in my vision, and I typed for a moment to activate the select sound filter. Everything in the restaurant – save Robert’s whitelisted voice – instantly fell silent. “Phew, that’s better.”

“I think I’m gonna have to do the same,” Robert said. He glanced up from the menu, then glared at the people at a table next to us – some of them boisterously laughing, not that I could hear it – before returning to the menu. “Spicy ham, ananas, bacon, two kinds of cheese…”

“That sounds good, let’s get that.”

While immortality had given me preternatural patience, modern conveniences were constantly undermining it; with fully human waiting staff sans computerized assistance, came having to wait for the waiter to come back. Robert caved and put in his earbuds, too, visibly relaxing when his sound filter took effect. I tapped his leg under the table, and he smiled as he took out his vape for a few puffs. When he let out a big cloud of smoke, it smelled like raspberry.

When the waiter returned, he had a notepad and expectant look, and I was ready to whitelist his voice.

“Alright gentlemen, what can I get for you?” Te asked.

His cybereyes were a bit distracting, just inhuman enough to make me stare. At least it just looked like eye contact, probably. “Can we get a large deep-dish Hawaiian?”

“And garlic bread,” Robert added.

“Large Hawaiian… garlic bread. Anything else?”

“Not unless you somehow found a bottle of twenty-one forty-five Navarro Gewürztraminer,” I said with a wink.

“Good choice,” Robert whispered.

The waiter chuckled nervously. “Ah, no, still no wine.”

“Then no, that’ll be all, thank you.”

“I’ll get your order started, wave me down if you need anything.”

I watched him walk back to the kitchen, then turned back to face Robert. He wore a wide, bemused grin.

“What?”

“Gewürztraminer?” He laughed and picked up his water glass. “The kid doesn’t look old enough to know what Pinot noir is, much less Gewürztraminer.”

“Okay, I felt like being mean.”

“You don’t have a mean bone in your body.”

I shrugged and took a deep drink of water frigid enough to make my teeth hurt.

“Maybe one,” Robert said with a smirk.

“Rob, please,” I chuckled. “I can’t remember the last time that was the slang for it.”

He tangled his legs with mine under the table and gently rubbed one of my calves.

We didn’t say much else; my attention drifted between watching other customers’ silenced conversations and my husband, be it his distracting leg rub, or reaching over the table to clasp hands together.

“It’s a full moon tonight,” he said.

I spotted Te out of the corner of my eye, making a beeline from the kitchen toward our table, his gaze firmly upon us. “I’ll cut this for you,” he said as he set down the metal baking sheet with our pizza. His movements with the pizza cutter seemed well practiced and deft, but my attention was more on finally getting to eat after a day of nothing.

“Maybe we should keep a backup food synthesizer,” I said. “I’m famished.”

After Te left, I grabbed a thick slice of pizza and unceremoniously bit in, getting a big chunk of spicy ham and crunchy bacon. The ananas – called pineapple once upon a time, before English fell out of disuse – burst with sweet juice when I chewed a few chunks.

“This is fantastic,” I said between bites.

Robert nodded appreciatively as he chewed through his slice.

I devoured a slice shamefully quick, and started a second one, then a third, though I should have taken the time to enjoy a peaceful dinner. The only things I could hear were Robert if he spoke up, and the sound of my own crunching on the crust.

Te came back again. “Can I get you anything else?”

“No, that’ll be all, thanks so much.”

“I’ll box this up real quick.” He took our leftovers and came back with them packed in a hemp paper box that made my fingers comfortably warm when I held it.

“Have a good evening,” I said, waving goodbye as Robert ushered me outside.

 

* * *

 

“Home sweet home,” I said as the door slid shut behind us, the locking mechanism ratcheting to seal it.

We gave our coats to the manager’s mechanical claws, then I stared at nothing while Robert put away our leftovers. He hummed in thought when he came back and paused by me.

“What?”

“I have a surprise that might cheer you up.” Robert walked over to the dolly without looking away from me.

“A surprise?”

“I stopped by this vintage electronics store today, and you won’t believe what I found.” The crate unlocked from Robert palming the screen on the side and an odor like aged metal wafted out.

“Smells musty,” I said.

“It really does, but it’s worth it.” Robert hefted something out of the crate and turned around to—

“No way. No way!”

Robert cradled in his hands an antique record player made of rusty brushed steel. “It doesn’t have a rubber pad for the vinyl, but we can synthesize that really quick.”

I gaped in awe as Robert set it up on the table in the den and plugged it into a wireless power adapter. He rattled off instructions for Dexter for the matter synthesizer and I heard it start humming in the utility room. “Did you find any records…?”

Robert walked over to the crate again and silently answered my question by gingerly passing a few record sleeves from the box to my hands.

“Oh my… there’s just no way.” The most recent band in the records were from the 2030’s, but there was a grunge, a rock, and a jazz vinyl, at least. _“No way.”_

“You keep saying that.” Robert chuckled and gently pried the vinyls away from me. “I’m gonna scan these into the synthesizer in case we break them or something.”

I sat at the table and ran my hand over the turntable. Brushed steel always made my hair stand on end whenever I touched it, and this was no exception. I went into the utility room in a light jog and grabbed some of the metal polish wipes. After a few minutes of rubbing, it should look brand new.

“I’m done,” Robert said after I wiped away the last of the rust. He set the mat and one of the vinyls down. The wireless power point on the end of the cord looked a little funny, but it always did. “Let’s play… this one.”

Robert looked like a kid at a playground as he set up the record. He glanced at me and carefully set the needle on the spinning disc. A crackle of unrefined audio filled the room, and moderate tempo from a brush head on a cymbal provided an introductory beat.

Robert held out a hand for me, though I was more interested in the music at the moment. “Is this… Dave… what was his name again?”

Robert tilted his head. “Burbank?”

I shook my head with a small smile and took his hand. “It’s no matter.”

Robert held one of my hands and kept the other on my low back as we spun around the room in a slow waltz, even though the song was in a brisk five-four time. “I think this is a cover of that one song he’s famous for. The track listing is smudged too badly to read.”

I hadn’t heard anything like this in decades; along with linguistic drift came cultural drift. Rock, metal, jazz, folk… all of them went out of vogue a long time ago, and most old music had been lost to network crashes, data degradation, or disc rot.

“You know, it’s a full moon tonight,” Robert murmured as he twirled me around.

“It is?”

He nodded calmly. “I told you earlier, but you seemed a bit distant. Dexter, if you please?” he asked. The solid ceiling split down the middle and retracted into the walls, exposing the opaque glass that actually made up the roof. I gazed up and watched the glass gradually turn transparent until I could see the full moon, stars dotting the black night sky.

“The ceiling is now polarized, sir,” Dexter said in his smooth, digitized voice.

Robert let the wolf take him, changing in the light of the moon until his half-lidded eyes glowed, his fangs poked out of his lips, and his body grew hairy.

I unchained the spirit of the wolf and let it fill my heart with a yearning for nature, my claws and fangs coming forth and my ears extending into points. It wanted to run free. Though I had perfected my control of it, with Robert the wolf was at peace anyway.

Robert held me closer, and I locked eyes with him. “Just dance with me,” he whispered.

The record switched songs after a moment of static. I hugged Robert tight, and tried to forget for a moment that the only reason I lived was for him. That we both lived for each other.

“Matt,” he whispered in my ear. “I can tell you’re still in pain. What can I do to help?”

“Just distract me. I don’t care how you do it.”

Robert began quietly detailing how his day went, mostly glossing over the _Cyber Solutions_ store and more detailing the things he found at the vintage electronics shop. He lightly stroked my back as he talked about the dead Blu-ray player he found, or the box full of mystery data chips, ten credits each. There were antique smartphones, and a hacker’s portable terminal, only legally sellable there because it was so obsolete.

“What’d you do today?” Robert asked. He’d slid a hand over my chest and worked it inside my shirt to comb his claws through my chest fur.

“Worked on the design of the medical bay in the PCAS nineteen-hundred series light cruiser.” My job was a strange one; I didn’t build starships, or engineer them, I just did the interior decor. I sighed, partly out of frustration and depression. “Honey…”

“Yes…?” Robert hesitantly asked.

“Can you… distract me in a bit more… physical manner? I want to forget about everything for a while.”

The song changed again, leaving us in silence as Robert stared. “Not exactly a good time to fuck, don’t you think?”

“Under a full moon is the _best_ time to fuck. Rob.” I looked in his eyes as pleadingly as I could and petted his shoulders trying to appease him. “I want to feel like a wolf for a while, instead of a sad man.”

Robert’s expression softened into a sympathetic smile. He cupped the back of my head with a hand and thumbed at me thoughtfully, though his eyes hooded into a sultry gaze. “How about… I go down on you?” I couldn’t look away from his softly glowing eyes, and I shivered when one of his claws trailed lightly across my chest.

My husband slowly danced me toward the bedroom. I blocked out everything other than him, the music, and the wolf inside me yearning for five different things at once.

“Just let me take care of you,” Robert said.

We danced sideways through the threshold to our bedroom, various holograms around us activating and lighting up the dim, blue room, but none of them were important. All that was important was the moon’s heavenly rays setting our souls ablaze.

Robert peeled off my shirt and started kissing my chest. I stroked a hand down his back, his hot breath against my skin finally getting my cock’s attention. While Robert began licking me, I snuck my hands into his shirt and combed my fingers through the hair coating his back. My pants fell to the floor before I realized that Robert had even done anything with them. He liked to call it a magic trick, and I often thought it was some kind of witchcraft myself.

“Sit down,” Robert murmured, and I took a seat on the end of the bed. Robert pulled my snug underwear off, letting my cock spring free, and he curled a hand around it. He kissed the tip and brushed the head with his lips, sometimes sucking and sometimes licking, making me writhe and jerk.

“Oh shit,” I whispered after my leg twitched and I kicked empty air.

Robert licked all over my shaft. He buried his face in my lap to deeply smell me and wrapped his arms around my lower body. Having every sense involved in sex made the experience so much better, but it was especially true of werewolf men who could bond so intimately from scent alone.

I lay down and braced my weight on an elbow, lightly petting Robert’s head with my free hand. “Rob, I wanna feed you.”

With that, he looked in my eyes as he pulled my cock between his fangs by sucking hard until he swallowed every centimeter. He licked all over my length, and though I could last a long time, I wanted to empty myself for him and blank out my mind.

I finally relaxed into it and watched him blow me for a few minutes. His hands roamed over my body, fingers trailing along my obliques, thighs, or pecs as he swallowed my manhood. He knew I liked when he sucked deep and paused for a few moments, and he did it often. I kept a hand on his head and stroked, our eyes locked in silent intimacy, my abs heaving from how incredible his mouth felt around my cock and from the love flooding my heart.

Robert slowly pulled off, getting some spit all over me, and he licked the head again and wrung some precum out. “I want you to fuck my face,” he said. He rubbed my thighs as I sat up, then backed up to sit against the black clothing organizer, slowly stroking his ramrod hard cock as he awaited me.

I stood with my feet on either side of him and aimed my aching dick toward his mouth. Robert caught a bit of precum dripping from the tip on his tongue and lapped at what he could reach. He opened up, and I pushed the head between his lips, thumbing his forehead and bushy eyebrow as I buried myself in his mouth.

My hand shuddered and slipped through a holographic photo on the organizer, distorting it as I kept slowly pushing my cock deep. The wolf roiled in my soul as I looked in his eyes, as he gently sucked, as I crept closer to shooting my load for my partner.

Robert moaned and made exaggerated sucking noises as I rhythmically thrust, the pleasure and the urge to cum steadily building in my gut. My cock throbbed with my pulse as he swallowed and licked, still playing with his shaft in one hand as he reached up and played with my balls in the other.

A shaky sigh escaped my lips as I took a deep thrust, his tongue sliding along my cock. “Rob… _god, Rob…”_

Robert let go of himself and splayed a hand over my hip, fingers barely on my butt and thumb rubbing the V of my hips.

“I’m so close,” I whispered as he sucked deep and kissed the hilt of my cock, nose buried in the soft hair coating me.

Robert pulled off me with a pop and licked the side of my spit-shiny shaft. “Lie down again.”

I obeyed him, lying on my back with my legs hanging over the edge of the bed. Robert crawled over and buried a hand in the fur on my abs to trail his claws along the dips in the muscle.

“Get ready to fuck me again,” he said with a sultry smile before lifting my cock off my hip by sucking on the tip.

I braced my weight on my elbows and thrust up between his lips, going from the tip of my cock to the base a few times, and the warm pleasure finally spilled over and I throbbed hard. “Oh god,” I huffed out as I shot the first few ropes in my husband’s mouth, and he rubbed my belly as I slowly pushed in and out. My whole body shook as my rock-hard cock pumped rope after rope of hot cum for him, as Robert lovingly sucked every drop down for me, the sight of him buried to the nose on my shaft still gorgeous to this day.

With centuries of marriage came centuries of practice swallowing jizz, and Robert let me thrust between his lips and pump God knows how much cum down his throat. He let some leak out to coat my cock and his lips in my viscous white cum as I slid effortlessly in and out, then opened up and took all of me in his mouth to swallow around the last few ropes and suck my cock clean. I could have stayed in that moment forever, watching him, his eyes closed to immerse his senses in my manhood while he sucked for another few moments, his hands trailing over my obliques and hips.

At last he pulled off and let my dick go free. He smiled and licked his lips clean as he rubbed my tummy, a hand under me to gently trail his claws along my spine. Even after however many thousands of loads we’d given each other over the decades, I never tired of it, and he was still the only man I ever wanted.

“I love you,” he said, in old English, the words falling upon me like the warmth of the spring sun. My heart soared, the corners of my eyes grew wet, and the wolf in my soul could have howled with joy. Californian was a perfectly functional language, but everything beautiful, painful, and poignant that passed through my mind was in my native tongue.

I wearily sat up and cradled Robert’s beautiful scruffy face between my hands and gazed into his eyes with a tenderness that ached deep in my chest. “I love you, too,” I said lowly, also in old English. “With all of my heart and soul.” Anything less would simply not do.

Robert laid his head on my tummy, nuzzling and kissing as I gently scratched behind his pointy ears. It would be a lie to say we didn’t like neck or head scratches, as stereotypic and animalistic as it was.

“I think you shot almost forty spurts,” he said, quietly laughing. “That was a lot.”

I smiled, his sheepish giggle so beautiful, and wiled away a few minutes by tenderly petting and stroking each other anywhere we could.

“Rob,” I said, after a time. “Take me. Fuck me like an animal, until I can’t think.”

“Whoa,” he said, rearing back to look me in the eyes. “You really are in a funk.”

I stared a bit sleepily. “You’re not gonna turn down the opportunity to breed me until you can’t anymore, are you?”

Robert trailed his hands up and down the base of my hairy back, an eyebrow cocked in interest. “No, I’m just… a little worried.”

The moonlight bathing us already did a decent job of keeping me occupied, heightening all the instincts we normally felt, but… it wasn’t enough. “I’ll feel better, I promise.” I caressed his furry shoulder with a gentle touch. “Take me, Robert. I want you, buried balls deep in me, claiming me like a wild beast.”

“Holy shit, Matt.”

“Come on.”

Robert’s lips split in a grin and he hooked a hand around my neck to bring me in for a deep, hungry kiss. He let out a grunt as I licked into his mouth and tasted my cum. When he pulled away, he exhaled slowly with his lips pursed and gazed in my eyes with an enticing, animalistic desire.

_Perfect._

I knelt on all fours with my ass exposed, a few pillows under my chest to cushion me. Robert grabbed the lube and stroked my furry butt cheek, then stuck two fingers in to slick my body up.

I never tensed up anymore when he pushed in. Plenty of practice and lots of trust meant it was a simple endeavor for Robert to play with my asshole and rub my G spot to make me writhe against the bed and huff out breaths into the pillows. His fingers moving knuckle deep in me felt wonderful as he lubed me up for what I really wanted.

“You look ready,” he said with an audible smile.

“Give it to me deep.”

I buried my face in a pillow and Robert laid a hand on my back to brace himself. The head of his cock rubbed between my butt cheeks, and he pushed his slick cock inside me, my asshole stretching to effortlessly engulf his shaft until he bottomed out. I let out a moan of relief into the pillow, and Robert wrapped tight around me as he began his moderate pace of deep thrusting. My husband’s cock sliding deep in my ass lit my vision with stars and made my toes curl. His warm body plastered against my back as he fucked me was just what I needed.

“God—you—feel—so—fucking go—od,” Robert huffed out, punctuating every thrust that filled my asshole as his weight pushed me into the mattress. He grabbed one of my hands and twined our fingers together in an intimate fist.

“Take me, Rob, just like that,” I said in a long exhale, my face still in the mess of pillows that felt warmer with every passing second.

I couldn’t think, my world devoid of everything other than Robert’s beefy body tangled with mine, the pleasure of his perfect, slick cock rhythmically sliding in me, and the moon above us bringing out the animal in me. Robert fucked me so deep it bounced the mattress every thrust, the blankets edging closer to falling off the bed with every push. I felt sweat dripping off him onto my back and I let out another long, low moan.

“Fuck,” he whispered, and slowed his pace. “I don’t wanna cum yet.”

“Honey,” I murmured. “Please.” I tightened my hold on the sheets – my claws threatening to tear the top sheet if I gripped it any harder – and turned my head, trying and failing to get a good look at him as he languidly rolled his hips. “Empty your balls in me. Fuckin’… fill me to the brim,” I pleaded lowly.

Robert stroked my tummy with one hand, his thumb rubbing my fist where I braced my weight on an elbow. His face lay on the nape of my neck, his hot breath washing over my shoulder. The raw affection we both felt tempered the animal urges I wanted him to unleash, even though we both knew a werewolf’s body could take a serious beating and come out unscathed.

“Give me every drop of cum that you can,” I said breathlessly. “Bury your load deep… so it’ll never come out.”

Robert’s heaving, sweaty chest against my back was so lovely and his arm hugging me so tender that it felt a bit strange begging for something so filthy. He chuckled and kissed my neck. “You sound a little delirious.”

“I’m not delirious.” I was a little delirious; I couldn’t get my eyes to focus on anything. “I’m just in love, man.”

Robert nibbled my shoulder with his fangs and purred in my ear, sending a shot of arousal right to my groin. “I’m gonna shoot soon, I just—” He moved his lap around in small circles as he thrust in me. “Just want it to _last.”_

I shut my eyes as he fucked me slowly, the moonlight pouring over us as he claimed my body, and I fell deep into the illusion of a wolf being taken. Robert paused every few moments, his free hand roaming over my body and his dick thrust in me to the hilt. He combed his fingers through my chest hair and my heart beat hard with excitement under his fingers. His nuzzling, kissing, and soft petting made every moment of getting fucked raw an intensely intimate experience.

“I’m gonna – gonna shoot,” Robert whispered between thrusts that spanned the entire length of his cock. He let out a low moan that morphed into a growl and gently bit the back of my neck. He buried his throbbing cock in me and hugged me tight as he finally emptied his big, furry balls into my body. I let my weight down onto the bed as my husband shook from the pleasure and filled me with his huge load of warm jizz, his hand still locked with mine.

I let out breath in heavy pants, indulging in feeling his manhood pulse inside me with every rope of thick semen he shot. My mind was entirely blank, save for my unending love for him and the raw satisfaction of being taken by a man whose heart overflowed with devoted affection.

As much as we shot as werewolves, it wasn’t enough to sate my hunger. Robert let himself collapse on me, still hugging me tight and thumbing my knuckles through the aftershocks of his cumshot, but I still wanted more. The wolf in my soul still wanted more.

I could wait, though, so I let him lay on me, I let the contentment of being bred full wash over me for a few, intimately quiet minutes. Robert seemed happy to hold me, nuzzle my shoulder with his soft beard, and lay kisses all over my upper back.

“Getting tired?” I asked playfully.

Robert took a few slow, deep breaths. “Not a chance. You want another load?”

“God, _yes,”_ I said, needy and emphatically.

Robert heaved himself off me, his gently dragging claws sending shivers down my spine and a whimper past my lips. I looked over my shoulder to watch him stare at my butt as he grabbed my cheeks and moved his lap around.

“Don’t pull out, please,” I begged; shame was beyond me at this point.

Robert bit his lip and failed to hold back a toothy smile. “I’m not, just… wanna harden up again. _God,_ I love…” he started. When I felt him slide slightly out and back in, he let out a breath from pursed lips. “All of you.” His eyes drifted up to meet mine and he rubbed my butt affectionately.

I couldn’t help letting my eyes wander over his handsomely muscular body; his bulging biceps, pillowy yet firm pecs, and strong six pack made for a tantalizing sight. At bare minimum, working out was something to do, and it wasn’t hard for us to make gains or keep trim figures.

“Flip over, I wanna look in your beautiful eyes when I cum again.”

As much practice as we had from how often we had sex, flipping over without letting a cock slip out of you wasn’t exactly a walk in the park. Robert had to paw at me to help me spin bit by bit without hurting his dick, until I was on my side, then on my back with a bit of heavy lifting on his part.

“Comfy?” he asked as he fluffed up a pillow and stuffed it under my head.

“Could be warmer,” I said with a bit of a smirk.

Following my cue, he dove in and grabbed me in a tight hug, his hairy arms clutching me against his chest. His big cock was hard as a rock again, and his wet lips met mine, our tongues dancing together as we moaned in unison. His first few thrusts in me, while entwined as if we were one, were the sweetest thus far.

I wanted to tell him to make me his again, to fuck his first load deep in my body until he filled me with a second, but kissing him hard and holding each other as he slowly made love to me was too appealing.

My unspoken desires became reality as his cock slid inside me, every plunge to the hilt pushing his cum deeper in me. His hairy back under my hands, his firm butt under my feet with my legs wrapped around him, his lips hungrily kissing me made rational thought impossible.

I just wanted him to _take me._

Robert stopped kissing me and I tilted my head back to show him my neck. He eagerly dove in to mouth at my throat, his licks, kisses, and gentle nibbles nearly as good as the stretch of his big dick. His steadily approaching cumshot couldn’t come soon enough.

My eyes drew upward to the moon in the sky, stars dotting the pitch-black background as a mining barge flew overhead, and a low growl rumbled in my chest. My heart was more wolf than man right now.

With every drive inside my ass, Robert’s manhood sliding over my G spot made my cock jump and another jolt of pleasure shoot through my whole body. The pleasant buzz spread all through my lower body and I wanted to cum again, to give him another load, but I couldn’t think. I couldn’t do anything, could only think of my hairy husband curled tight around me, cock pistoning, but never deep enough. Never as deep as I wanted. Wanted him to merge with me, fill me, breed me, claim me.

I tried to speak my desires, but it came out as a growl. His lips left mine and he cupped the back of my head. His eyes – his gorgeous golden eyes – looked into my soul. I hoped he saw only love.

His breathing came heavier as he varied his pace, never looking away from me. “Matt,” he whispered, eyes rolling back when I clenched down on him.

Robert snuck a hand between us. He held my cock dripping precum on my belly and barely touched me or stroked me before he paused and huffed out, “I’m… gonna cum again.”

Finally, he throbbed hard again. _God, yes, here it comes._ I let my legs relax to open my ass for him and he drove it home. He pulled away and looked in my eyes, my beautiful Robert’s jaw slack in unfathomable bliss as I felt him pulsing, felt his perfect cock pumping more cum in my body, felt his beautiful, hairy nuts hugging my ass.

He came long and hard, his glowing eyes losing focus for a moment, then he dove in to lightly bite my neck again. He kept cumming, and mashed his lips with mine, a fang poking my tongue. He kept throbbing, kept shooting cum as he drew back to look in my eyes and cup the back of my head. I felt some leak out of me, his big shaft emptying enough hot jizz to actually fill me.

Robert gasped again and again. I held tight, our eyes locked in a precious moment of intimacy and passion. The warmth filled my heart and spread through my body and I knew he felt it too, like our souls were connecting. I had to tell him I loved him, that he was everything to me, but words weren’t good enough.

When the rhythmic throbbing of his cock slowed, and I felt him fully bury his manhood in me, I held on tight. He held me close and heaved hard, his warm body, love, and cum were all I needed. The sweat on his neck smelled so good. His hands gently stroking me felt like heaven.

“Rob,” I said in a light growl.

Robert drew away to look at me blearily with golden eyes. A few beads of glistening sweat trickled down his forehead and I watched them drip into his bushy eyebrows.

“I love you more than I have words to say,” I murmured in Old English. I said it in Californian, and again in New Spanish, combing a hand through the hair coating his back. “More than I know how to say in any language I speak.”

A few tears formed at the corners of his eyes and fell upon my chest. He petted my head with a light and tender touch, and I knew he felt the same. Something deep in my chest – deep in my soul – let me know, rather than made me think, that he felt the same.

“You’re my everything,” Robert whispered. He laid his head in the crook of my neck, our bodies curled around each other as he bred me, our hearts pounding against each other – with each other.

I turned my head and nuzzled him, my nose pressed up against his shoulder and neck. He smelled musky and sweaty after emptying himself inside me twice; I’d lived with that smell for an aeon and I’d never tire of it. He didn’t just smell like a manly, beefy werewolf though. I took another deep breath of him as he, too, indulged in my scent; he smelled like love and companionship. He smelled like home.

His hairy abs tickling my hard cock and my nuts felt so good that I hugged him tighter to feel even closer, his chest against mine. Robert met my lips and I kissed him slow and sweet, pouring as much gentle passion into it as I could. He let out a little sigh through his nose when I lightly scratched his back. There wasn’t anything on Terra like getting bred with half a liter of your husband’s love.

“Stay with me,” I slurred against his face, too tired and fucked full, too high off his sweaty musk to put any real effort into enunciation, to even ask him to rub one out of me.

He chuckled and stroked my forehead, his lips turning up in a boyish smile. “I’m not goin’ anywhere, Matt.”

 

* * *

 

“I can’t believe you actually bought that,” I muttered, my arms crossed as I looked anywhere other than Robert and the gift-wrapped box with a holographic dog inside. Hover cars and shipping freighters weaved in and out of HV airspace as we passed between bright skyscrapers and high-rise apartment buildings.

“You never gave me a gift idea,” Robert said. “I still don’t understand why you hate them. And it’s not like you’re gonna live with it.”

“They’re creepy!” I exclaimed. I finally locked eyes with Robert in his handsome formal leather jacket. “Force fields can only emulate fur so well, and the AI is still nowhere near as complex as a real dog’s mind.”

“How would you know? Besides, it’s perfectly hypoallergenic—”

“—Which doesn’t matter to Ellen.”

Robert shot me a sulking glare. “Well I think she’ll like it.”

At the very least, she wouldn’t have to feed it or clean up after it. It fed off the wireless power grid. Its lifespan probably exceeded any biological dog given regular maintenance.

“It’s a very thoughtful gift, my own distaste for them aside. I’m glad to see you putting so much care into picking her birthday present.”

I watched Robert to see how he responded. His lips turned up before he schooled his expression. “Thank you,” he said, with the smug inflection that I both expected and wanted.

If I imagined intensely enough, I could pretend Robert’s jacket was the one he wore when I first met him. Alas, we lost it – along with most of our books, movies, records, and other things – in a house fire in 2034. Maybe it was 2071. Too many disasters over the years. One of these days I wanted to recreate it with the synthesizer, but I wasn’t sure he’d appreciate seeing it again. It was from a different time in his life.

The car descended to street level and entered a residential building in the historical district. The concrete parking garage hadn’t been retrofitted with security fields and the like, nor had the elevators up to Ellen’s apartment. It was always disorienting to ride an elevator that still made you feel like you were rising or falling.

We stopped in front of apartment 324, and I knocked sharply – five times rapidly, three times slowly. Tohru opened the door for us, and the smell of spiced turkey washed over us in a wave.

“Come in, come in! We’ve been waiting,” he said, gesturing excitedly. “Ellen, the Smalls are here!”

“I can tell!” she yelled from somewhere within.

Ellen’s apartment was always dimly lit, and today was no exception. The wrought iron candelabras and holographic fire in the fireplace cast shadows over the light orange wallpaper, making her home look warm and cozy. She liked to keep it decorated with vintage wooden furniture; that, combined with the near total lack of modern conveniences made her apartment feel like you were stepping through a time machine.

Bridget, Anthony, and Davison were all seated on Ellen’s ancient, brown nylon sectional, chatting with each other. A tray stocked with sliced deli meats and exotic cheeses was surrounded by bowls of nuts and berries on the tea table, though the spiced turkey smell coming from the kitchen was more enticing.

“Where’s the birthday girl?” I asked, glancing past the couch toward the reading corner with the sparsely stocked bookshelf near the polarized windows, then at the master bedroom door on the left.

“Over here,” Ellen said. As if on cue, she entered from the hallway leading to the kitchen and the rest of the apartment.  These days she was a little slower – I blamed never getting to hunt, Robert blamed old age – but her mind was still sharp as a lasered knife. She shuffled over to sit next to Davison. “I was just checking the turkey soup.”

“One of these days, we're gonna get you a food synthesizer,” Robert said as he took a seat between Bridget and Davison. He’d acquired a red, fizzy drink in a swirly glass in the twenty seconds I hadn’t been watching him. “They’re so much faster.”

“And give up the joys of cooking for y’all? Never,” she said, waving him off. “I rarely get to cook for anyone. Synthesized food tastes weird, anyway. How are you boys? It’s been too long!”

“We’re managing,” I said. “How about you?”

Ellen’s bright smile hadn’t faded one bit, the toothy grin just as inviting to conversation as her apartment was to sitting and poring over a book. “Oh, you know how I like it: quiet, calm, and dealing with technology as little as possible.”

“Yeah, about that,” I started. Robert elbowed me in the gut after I sat next to him. “Ow!”

“Don’t tell her,” he muttered.

“Boys,” she said with a chastising tone. “You didn’t get me some newfangled toy again, did you?”

“You’re still using the fire!” I exclaimed, gesturing at it with a hand.

“She uses it every day,” Davison – a tall, athletic Irishman with stereotypically red hair and dozens of freckles – said.

“Don’t tell them!” Ellen yelled, then cackled, making Bridget and Tohru laugh while Davison smirked mischievously. “Okay, the fire is nice, but only because I can’t have a real one anymore. Stupid building codes…”

Bridget – a pretty gal whose blonde hair and striking green eyes rivaled a designer baby’s beauty – talked with me for a bit about her studies to become a counselor while Robert, Tohru, and Davison caught up. Ellen watched on in silent contemplation.

“Where’s Anthony?” Bridget asked.

“Um…” Davison glanced at his comm link screen. “The tracking invite he gave me says he’s about five minutes out.”

“Oh good,” Ellen said, clasping her hands together. “I can serve the turkey soon.”

It was nice chatting with everyone again; we didn’t often get to see each other in person, and none of us were comfortable sharing werewolf-related things over voice or hologram calls. Bridget looked great, Tohru had clearly been working out more, and Davison wore a handsome smile the entire conversation.

When Anthony arrived, Ellen stood up and clapped. “Finally, we can eat! I’ve had to keep myself from eating the turkey all day.”

Everyone ambled into the kitchen of granite countertops and dark wood cabinets. A crock pot full of dark turkey soup sat on the island, steam pressure causing the glass lid to jitter. To this day, I couldn’t believe most of her appliances still worked; finding someone able to maintain them must be torture, and I still didn’t know if Ellen did it herself. She liked to leave people wondering about her.

Ellen insisted on serving us herself with a pristine silvery ladle into ceramic bowls with flowers painted on them, then shooed us back into the sitting room to have it with the cheeses and nuts.

“Anthony, it’s been a while,” I said. “How’s life?”

Anthony – a clean shaven and bald black man who looked like he was in his thirties, though in reality we met him in 2216 – had just eaten a big spoonful of soup and held up a hand to give him a moment. He swallowed with a smile and then spoke up. “Pretty great, I sold almost twenty more paintings!”

“Hey, that’s awesome! You get what you wanted for them?”

“My new apartment less than a kilometer from the beach was worth every credit earned,” he said with an audible grin.

“Nice!”

I chatted with Anthony for a few minutes more, then spoke with Davison, who had just closed a business deal with a major distributor of nano-circuits and had a big bonus coming as a reward.

“Who’s ready to open presents?” Robert asked.

“Excited to see my reaction, are we?” Ellen said with a smile that crinkled her eyes.

“Maybe,” Robert said, all while he handed Ellen the silvery box.

Though these days her hands looked a bit frail, I knew better. Ellen deftly sliced into the wrapping paper with a claw, and tore the rest off, revealing a plain white hemp cardboard cube.   

“What’s your little scheme, Robert?” she asked as she popped open the top and took out a white metal sphere about ten centimeters in diameter. She spun it until she found the control panel and screen. “What is this?”

Robert walked over and knelt at her side. “So, you gotta link it to the power grid like so… and then…”

“‘Choose a breed’? What does that mean?”

“Why don’t we just start with…”

Robert typed on the panel while Ellen asked, “What _is_ this?”

The faces Ellen made were entertaining enough, varying between confusion and irritation over Robert’s present. He set the sphere on the floor and the outline of an animal shimmered into view, specks of color rapidly filling in until in its place lay a large Siberian husky dog, looking expectantly at Ellen with its tongue lolling out.

“Goodness, me,” Ellen exclaimed. She reached out to pet the ‘dog,’ and the ‘fur’ on its head bristled between her fingers. “How—it feels so real.”

Robert scratched his neatly trimmed beard and glanced at me with the ‘I told you’ look.

“Come here,” she said, patting her knees. The ‘dog’ obediently climbed onto her lap and lay across her legs and the sectional. I couldn’t believe how realistic it looked or acted. How does it ‘see’?

“You might want to read the manual.” Robert handed it to her, and she flicked the edge of the thin booklet. “It understands simple Californian,” he added.

“Wow.” Ellen stared at the husky’s face and it turned to watch her with interest. “One minute it was a metal ball, the next there’s a heavy dog sitting on me!”

“Technology isn’t so bad, eh?” I said with a smirk.

“Alright, whatever you say,” she teased as she scratched behind the husky’s ears. “I know very well how paranoid you are of surveillance.”

A hot flush started burning my face, and I crossed my arms in dejection. “What if someone overheard something sensitive?” I muttered to myself.

“Did you get anything for her, Tohru?” Robert asked.

Tohru shot a fake glare at Robert. “Thanks for putting me on the spot,” he grumbled. They liked to tease each other with playful jabs every now and then. “Ellen made dinner with a cutlery set I had restored for her.”

“What kind of cutlery?”

“Argentium.”

My jaw dropped. “How old?”

“About… er, a hundred fifty years old?” Tohru said, scratching his neck and shrugging.

Anthony and Bridget both said something in amazement at once, making comprehending either impossible.

“Wow, that sounds horrendously expensive,” Robert said. I glanced at him and his eyebrows were almost comically high.

“A gentleman doesn’t brag about the cost of his gifts, you know.”

Robert made enough from his university tenure alone that a few thousand credits for a holographic dog wasn’t a massive burden when we split it. Things like food synthesizers, basic hover cars, housing, and utilities were completely free; something like vintage Argentium kitchenware, on the other hand…

After everyone admired the realism of the holo dog for a few minutes, Bridget, Davison, and Anthony all revealed their gifts to Ellen at once – three gift wrapped boxes that all together were a little over a meter long if lined up end to end.

Ellen sliced open the paper again and gasped as she pulled some books of all things out of the first box.

“We know you’ve never liked reading on screens,” Bridget said with a shrewd smile.

Anthony cut in. “We _also_ know you don’t have much to do lately.”

“But books are hard to come by. So, we’ve been hunting down some whenever possible.”

“You know,” Davison started, gesturing meaninglessly with a wave of a hand. “Second hand stores, collectors, auctions.”

Ellen tore open the other two gifts, unveiling around fifty books. “My Lord,” she murmured, reverently trailing a hand over the spines of the books – some in better shape than others, and none of them looking new. “You did all this for me?”

Robert met my eyes and sheepishly grimaced with a bit of a blush. That was the face he made when he felt embarrassingly outdone or insufficient.

“We’ll get you to switch to a datapad soon,” Bridget said, with an air of confidence I knew she could back up. “You’ll have plenty to read with the limitless stores of literature on the network. But for now, this will do.”

“Datapads don’t smell like paper,” Ellen muttered as she leafed through a hardcover tome of poetry. “Reading isn’t the same without it.”

Poor Ellen felt so out of place in such a futuristic world. Even back when I was growing up, the massive advancements of technology were a challenge to track. We could barely get her to use her comm link, and she could easily read anything she wanted with it if she’d just use wireless glasses – or contacts, like I did. She didn’t like how e-paper smelled, either.

“I wish the others could be here,” I said apropos of nothing. “Kind of a shame people are missing the big four-fifty.”

“Alejandra and Zain…” Bridget said disappointedly. “I wanted to ask Alejandra about her promotion in person.”

“And those not with us anymore,” Ellen murmured. She took her comm link out of her pocket and unfolded its flexible screen like it were a clam shell. “How much do you think Lawrence would have hated these?” she asked with a sad smile.

Lawrence… “We’d have to stop him from snapping it in half,” I said.

“I think you’d be right,” Tohru said with a gleeful laugh. “He already hated his flip phone for being ‘too complicated.’ I think he broke a dozen smartphones out of frustration.”

“I still think about… what the hell could have happened to him,” Ellen murmured.

Lawrence’s loss was a curious case. The last I heard from him was September third, 2155. I didn’t have the comm link with our texts on it anymore – a fact I greatly lamented – but the date stuck in my mind. He had texted me to ask if I’d be at the meeting that coming Saturday. I’d said yes, and asked if he wanted any of the strawberry pastries I’d brought the last time, but I never got a reply.

We never heard from him again.

Despite our best efforts to get in touch with him or track him down, it was like he’d vanished into thin air. We dared not file a missing person report, for fear of accidentally bringing attention to the fact we all had hacked IDs. Or worse yet, that we weren’t human.

“I still think about Cindy, too. That was just… unsettling.”

We weren’t sure what happened to Cindy, but the news had been disturbing. She had signed up for a colony ship to Proxima Centauri. Her excitement for the journey knew no bounds, but just days after her departure from Terra, Tohru received a communique from the Pacific Coast Alliance Space Agency as her next of kin.

Shortly after leaving the Sol system, she had brazenly attacked someone on the ship as if she had gone berserk. Guards were ‘unable to peacefully resolve the situation,’ as she reportedly couldn’t be reasoned with. We didn’t get much more than that out of them, though they at least transported her remains back to Tohru.

Robert swore up and down that the distance from Terra’s moon caused the incident. I didn’t know what to think.

No one liked talking about what happened to Jackson, least of all Tohru, who’d been his best friend for longer than either could remember. Shortly after the advent of hover cars – and by shortly I meant a few years – Jackson and Tohru were walking in a shopping district downtown. A malfunctioning hover car careened into a crowd and hit Jackson – among other poor bystanders – with so much force that—

Well, Tohru never went into explicit detail. All I know is it redefined ‘messy,’ and although we healed hundreds of times more rapidly than the average person, it wasn’t enough for poor Jackson. The whole ordeal was a chilling reminder that even now, we were still mortal.

“Life is such a precious gift… We’re all far more beyond death’s grasp than humans are, and yet… it could still be snuffed out in an instant,” Ellen began. “We should treasure every one of the millions of moments we have in our lifetimes.”

I glanced at Robert – at my dearly beloved – with an ache in my heart, and he turned to meet my eyes. A quiet pain behind the sorrowful downturn of his lips and wetness to his eyes pulled at my heartstrings. It wasn’t often that it seemed as though I could read… not his mind, but his heart, and right now I felt a grief like what I’d felt not days prior.

“Come now, don’t look so grim,” Ellen said. “Remember the time Lawrence couldn’t figure out how to get his phone to stop reacting to everything he said?”

I held back a sudden snort. “And how it kept repeating gibberish and giving him bad internet search results?”

“That’s the one!” Ellen yelled with a wide grin as she pointed at me. “And it kept assuming he was insulting it!”

“Oh man,” Robert sighed. “And he always typed the weirdest things because he didn’t care about backspacing, but he couldn’t use the keyboard.”

“‘Life’s too short to erase a typo,’” Bridget mimicked in a gruff, deep voice.

“That line never made any fuckin’ sense,” Robert chuckled. “Just a stupid excuse to make us laugh.”

“He was always so grumpy.” Tohru began. “I’d occasionally see him smile after we laughed at his texts before he could hide it.”

“I saw him smile after biting into a strawberry danish. That was weird,” I said.

Ellen wiped away a tear from laughter. “He sure did like to keep up a gruff persona.”

We kept sharing stories – about Cindy and Jackson, too – for a few hours. It did wonders to improve my mood. Still… four hundred and fifty years, Ellen had been walking on Terra, and I’d known her for over half of that. It didn’t hit me like a megagram of steel bricks so much as it periodically stunned me as we chatted. Four hundred and fifty years… We could live that long.

Robert laid his head on my shoulder, and as I sat there curled around his side, around my lover – as I looked at him knowing well I would never leave him, or even desire such a thing – I wondered what life had in store for us. Whatever it was, it was bound to be interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some content in this chapter resembles a Dom/sub relationship, sub space, aftercare, etc. It is not the author’s intention that the relationship be interpreted as Dom/sub, however the similarity may be important to point out. Numerous minor and supporting characters have passed on in this chapter. Please exercise discretion when reading.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! I'd love to know what you think, especially of the finale, so if you enjoyed please kudos, comment, and share.

**Author's Note:**

> Robert is attacked and severely injured by a werewolf, which results in a lot of blood and panic.


End file.
